1. The eldest sister-in-law is divorced and lives in my house temporarily. It happened that my wife was on a business trip, and I was at home with my eldest sister-in-law! I didn't want to cook at night, so I said to my sister-in-law, or we should go out

1. My eldest sister-in-law is divorced and lives in my house temporarily. It happened that my wife was on a business trip, and I was at home with my eldest sister-in-law! I didn't want to cook at night, so I said to my sister-in-law, or let's go out for a hot pot, I'll treat you. The eldest sister-in-law shook her head and said, how do you mean to let you entertain, come to your house to disturb you, I have not been too bothered to go, tonight this hot pot I invite you. I smiled and said, don't be so polite, everyone is a family, you come to my house, then I will do the landlord's courtesy. She insisted that today I would like to please. I also insisted, or I please. The two of us argued for one night. Until 12:00 p.m., we were both very hungry. So I said. Why don't we eat some instant noodles first? Then go on with the hot pot thing at night. She nodded and said, Okay. I said, then I'll go cook instant noodles for you to eat. She quickly stood up and said, "I'll cook it." I shook my head and said. You came to my house on the first day of today, of course, I cooked noodles for you. She insisted, no, no, no, I'm your sister. Of course, I do the cooking of noodles. So we argued all night over the matter of cooking noodles. At 8:00 a.m. the next morning, we were already dizzy with hunger. Both collapsed on the couch, and no one had the strength to speak. Trembling, I took out my mobile phone and dialed The Doctor, hoping that the doctor would come to treat us both in time.

2. The wife's girlfriend is working at a pet store, is bitten by a crazy Tibetan mastiff, and loses the ability to get pregnant. Her husband hated her for separating from her, and his wife took her to our house. Last night when I came home from work, my wife's girlfriend suddenly ran up to me and hugged me. I was confused, she said: Your wife will not come back from the night shift tonight, I am so scared! My intuition told me that I was deceitful, and I pushed her away and said resolutely: What are you doing? Want me to be sorry for my wife? No way! Alas, now there is another 500 more pocket money per month, thanks to my wit!?#Headline Comedian#"

3. After working overtime on Friday, I went to a fast food restaurant near the company to eat a little hungry, and a small couple came to eat. The man's face was spoiled: Honey, you were too tired last night, eat more chicken legs to make up for it. The girl said embarrassedly: No, people will be fat. The man smiled and said: I don't care if you are fat. Girl: But my husband will care!

4. The owner of the communications company was deceived by a witch and could only say one word a month. After a year, he found the witch and asked, "For... The witch asked: Are you trying to ask why the words that were not spoken last month cannot be accumulated into the next month? The boss nodded wildly after listening, and the witch sneered: Do you give me a total of the few G-traffic I have left every month? Have you given me a total of minutes? You still have a face to talk to!

5. One night I drunk taxi back to the public security department, the fare is 18 yuan, give the driver 50 yuan, the driver sees me drunk, he looks for me 2 yuan, I will look at the driver drunk, the driver asked me: How much do you give me? I said 100 yuan, and the driver immediately said: Obviously it is 50 yuan. I looked at him again, and he looked for 30 bucks. I was still drunk and misty looking at him, and after an hour the driver cried, I thought that I had time anyway, just when the car woke up drunk, the provincial home wife did not open the door and was scolded!

6. Yesterday, I had a nap with my husband. My girlfriend called, and my husband had been asleep. Halfway through the conversation, the girlfriend said, "Come to my house!" I want to say, "My husband is back, next time!" Only after saying the first six words, suddenly the husband suddenly woke up, and then struggled to put clothes on his body and prepared to rush out. At that time, I didn't have a heart and lungs to laugh, and when we all reacted, there was a dead silence. I was sleeping in the bedroom, when suddenly my sister-in-law slipped into my bed, and she held me with both hands from behind and said: Brother-in-law, I like you so much, let me be your "temporary wife", and start to move my hands and feet. I said very angrily: What I like is your sister, and it is impossible to have anything to do with you. When my sister-in-law saw that I didn't agree, she wanted to come hard and pounced on me again. I immediately slapped her in the face and directly beat her to tears. The sister-in-law cried and said: I hate you, and I will never see you again. After saying that, she ran out of my bedroom, and I looked at my sister-in-law's back in a daze, did I do something wrong?

7. My wife died unexpectedly after heart bypass surgery, the hospital lost 5,600,000, and after I had money, I lived a life of drunken fandom and married a dance teacher. During this time, my daughter-in-law always worked overtime until very late, and I did not let her pick her up, saying that I was so tired every day that I had to pick her up. My heart is warm, my wife is so sad! Today my wife suddenly told me: Have you heard about the new tricks that have been popular recently? Curious, I shook my head repeatedly: What deception? Wives: Scammers will find a man who calls the husband of a stranger, claims to have evidence of your wife's cheating, asks for money, and guarantees that he will not be entangled with the money. I actually got a call like this tonight. Before he could finish speaking, I hung up the phone immediately!

8. The wife was angry and was directly driven to the guest room by the wife to sleep. She was asleep in the middle of the night, when she suddenly sneaked in, took a large pair of scissors and cut a large hole in my mosquito net, and said: Let the mosquitoes bite you! After about an hour, my wife came in again with the tape and quietly glued the cut mosquito net together! I was touched in my heart, my wife is a knife mouth tofu heart, still love me ah! Just about to get up and say two good words, she said to herself: The mosquitoes are almost in, don't let them run.?

 #Funny##Funny paragraph# #今日笑料 #