1, a driver big brother is smart! Forget to bring a driver's license, the idea is not good to meet the traffic police! Suddenly the driver's big brother is in a hurry! Without waiting for the traffic police to let him stop, he slowly drove to the traffic police, nodded his head and said, "I left first!" Go home for dinner in the evening! When the time comes, I'll be calling you!" The two traffic policemen were stunned and laughed! After watching the driver's big brother drive away! A traffic policeman asked another traffic policeman: "What kind of relative are you?" Another traffic cop said, "Isn't that your relative?"
2, weekend break, go to the market to buy a big rooster ready to eat. I was bleeding the chickens, and my five-year-old son came to see it. The rooster's power splattered the blood on his son's face, and the son cried as he ran in fright. I was worried that my son would fall and chase after him... But I forgot that I still had a bloody knife in my hand, and my 80-year-old grandmother next door fainted!
3, the brother-in-law bought a new iPhone 11 Pro, and gave me his iPhone 8. I happily took it home, cleaned up the original things on my phone, and just turned to the photo album. It turned out that the brother-in-law had a lot of photos with beautiful women, and his age did not look like a boyfriend, but like a customer. No wonder the brother-in-law's sales performance is so good, it seems that he is also busy with work when we are free.
4, I am a strong guy, plus like to work out so the body is very good. Good physique, not afraid of cold, others want to wear sweater cotton jacket, I only wear a T-shirt and coat, and I will not feel cold. Just went on a blind date, in order to show that I was in good health, I deliberately dressed less than usual. The girl relentlessly refused: on such a cold day, she couldn't even afford to buy a thick dress, either without money or slamming the door! "
5, at noon I and the old justice nap, when the girlfriend called, during which my husband has been asleep. I accidentally clicked hands-free when I was about to hang up the phone. A girlfriend's voice came over there: Are you free to come to my house? I was ready to say: My husband is back from a business trip, or next time! Only to say my husband came back from a business trip these 8 words, suddenly my husband woke up, and then kept getting dressed. And get ready to rush out. I was laughing and thinking about it at night, as if something was wrong. "
6, my husband is an office worker, all day long complaining about how hard it is to go to work, I always say that I am tired of taking children at home. Today in order to let him experience the hardships of taking the child, let him sleep with the child, I slept alone on the sofa, in the middle of the night the child suddenly woke up, crying for half a day, this goods actually turned over and then snored There is no follow-up. I couldn't bear it, so I took the child over on the couch and coaxed me to sleep, and the next morning the goods shouted: "Wife is not good, get up quickly, the daughter is gone, gone." ”
7. When we first got married, we set rules for the sake of family harmony. He is responsible for his guests, and he is responsible for his guests. Today my girlfriend's old home is a guest, lunch at noon, I have a hard mouth, my husband understands. Then fart bumped a few bottles of beer over, the girlfriend looked envious: "Wow, you two don't have to talk so tacitly" The husband smirked: "Why don't you say, when we first got married, we couldn't finish talking." Now, the words are too lazy to say, fart down hard! ”?
8. The female colleague's father was hospitalized and asked me to borrow money, and I did not hesitate to lend her five thousand yuan. When I paid the money back two months later, I didn't order the money in person, I put it in my bag, went home and ordered the money twice, and found that there were two hundred more. The next day I returned the extra two hundred dollars to her, and she didn't say anything, took the money and looked at me deeply. Then she slowly colded me, and then she fell in love with another colleague.
9. In order to become the head of the company's department, the cousin invited the chairman to Quanjude for dinner. The waiter served the first course, and there were two fish on the plate, one large and one small. The cousin didn't even think about it, and directly clipped the big fish. The chairman was furious at the time and shouted, "There are really no rules at all!" The cousin asked with some confusion: "What?" Chairman: "You ate that big fish." Cousin: "Yeah, what if you were me?" Chairman: "This still needs to be asked, I must have clipped that small one." Cousin: "That's right, what are you complaining about?" That little fish is still there! ”?
10. My uncle and aunt are rural people, and they have a serious idea of preferring sons to daughters, and often beat their cousins. My mother was upset with her niece and couldn't look at it anymore, so she took her cousin to our house. Now my cousin is a high-grader, studying very hard, and getting up on time at 5:30 every morning. She was unimpeded, had amazing perseverance, and persisted for more than half a year. I admired her in my heart, thinking that my cousin was going to school to study and get into a good university. As a result, the reason why she got up early, her cousin said: There is a bun with a particularly good taste in the canteen, which will be sold out as soon as it comes out, and I will grab it early!
11. A few days ago, the girlfriend went on a blind date, and after the matchmaker asked the girlfriend: How do you feel about the man? The girlfriend said directly: Not suitable! Come in and do it, such a man can still talk? The matchmaker said: No, I see that people are quite gentlemanly, how can they do it? But people take the initiative to talk to you, you have nothing to say. The girlfriend said: Don't say anything to come in and do it, three times five divided by two dishes are all eaten by him, I didn't taste it, how can I know the taste??
#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #
![Daughter test 52 points, let the mother please eat a big meal and call the neighbor, mother: next time, too embarrassing[fig]](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAP///wAAACwAAAAAAQABAAACAkQBADs=)