1. A rich man marries a beautiful movie star as he wishes. In the cave room on the wedding night, they were affectionately styled. The bridegroom said, "Since we have become husband and wife, we should treat each other with sincerity."

1. A rich man marries a beautiful movie star as he wishes. In the cave room on the wedding night, they were affectionately styled. The bridegroom said, "Since we have become husband and wife, we should treat each other with sincerity." I have a few little secrets to tell you, please don't be surprised. The bride smiled slightly, "Who doesn't have a few little secrets?" Since you can tell me the privacy, I have also decided to tell you my little secret. The groom grabbed the hair cover on the top of his head with his hand and said to the bride, "Actually, I am already bald." Unexpectedly, the bride took off a long hair: "What's the fuss about this, I was born fully bald." Seeing the groom staring at his bald hair, the bride took the initiative to confess: "Do you see my double eyelids beautiful?" In fact, it is cut by hand. The bridegroom was not surprised: "This is nothing, look at my left eye." As he spoke, he took his left eyeball out of his orbit, and it turned out that his left eye was fake. The bridegroom went on to say, "Not only my left eye, but also my tooth is false. The bride disagreed: "It doesn't matter, my nose has been raised five times." The bridegroom said, "Do not hide from you that the wrinkles on my face are made; The bride wanted to stop talking, and after a while she said, "I won't hide from you, in fact, my beautiful face was made like this eight times." The groom said as he took off his shirt, "My heart is beating with a pacemaker." The groom's movements slowed down: "Since you are so frank, let me tell you my biggest secret - I am almost bankrupt due to the outbreak of the epidemic." The bride also seemed to have made the greatest determination: "Originally, I didn't want people to know, but you were so good to me, I will tell you well, in fact, I was not a woman, I had sex reassignment surgery." "Great!" The groom cried out in excitement, and as he spoke, he peeled off his skin, revealing his dark orangutan fur, and he said slowly to the bride, "Honey, I am actually an orangutan, and you can go back to the forest with me to live." ”

2. There is a couple who usually quarrels, one day after the husband test because there is no time to take the report at work, let the wife go to get it, the wife sees that the husband has cancer, very sad, unwilling to tell him, at night before going to bed, ask the husband: "If I have cancer, will you give me treatment?" It will cost a lot of money. ”

The husband was about to fall asleep, and said confusedly: "Don't be blind, I will help you cure your illness!" The wife asked, "What if you have cancer?" The husband said: "Then don't treat, it is not easy for you to make money." ”

3 Girlfriend met a rich second generation some time ago, and he has been chasing girlfriends. I just can't understand, isn't he just a little richer than me, just driving a Ferrari? Colleagues in the same dormitory comforted me when they saw it, and I didn't want to hear it. He said: It is not worth getting angry with that kind of woman, it is not good for the body, it is bad for the body, you are a poor ghost and have no money to buy medicine!

4. An old man sells meat sandwiches at the entrance of a middle school. The meat sandwich buns he made tasted particularly good, and I often took care of his business. At the beginning of this semester, I found that he had changed to selling scallion oil cakes, so I asked him: "You bought that meat sandwich steamed bun business before, why don't you sell it?" Uncle Cried and said with a sad face: "You may not believe it, but after a summer vacation, I forgot the recipe for meat sandwich steamed buns!" ”

5． I work as a personal trainer in the gym, because I am busy at work, I have not found a girlfriend since I am 33. In order to find my own love as soon as possible, I quit my job and went to work in a public company. After only a week on the job, I soaked the beautiful female supervisor in my hand. At night with my girlfriend home for dinner, my sister sent me a 1,000 yuan red envelope, saying that I would not come back at night and take her to have fun! I didn't think much of it and took her around. Later, I took her to an Internet café, opened a private room, and played with her for one night fighting landlords. The next afternoon, after I sent her home, I went home. The sister smiled and asked, "Brother, what did you and your girlfriend do last night?" I said: I had a lot of fun last night, I took her to play a fight with landlords in the Internet café! Since then, my sister has never given me any more money!

6． Received a transfer of 100,000 from my girlfriend, immediately transferred it back to her, and after a while I arrived at the account of half a million, I immediately called: you don't always give me money, love can't be measured by money, and I'm a big man, how can I always spend my girlfriend's money! As long as you and I have feelings and righteousness, nothing matters, and I will never ask for money. The girlfriend replied, "Honey! I know you're tough, for me, you take it! I said, "No! Resolutely do not accept. ”

7. I have a sister-in-law who has just been weaned, and in order to succeed in weaning, she will live with us for a while. My wife loves dogs, and today she brought back a corgi that had just been weaned. Dogs are timid and afraid of people, but they like to run with their sister-in-law and go where they go. However, because the sister-in-law almost fell several times because of avoiding the dog, the sister-in-law said angrily: Don't always follow me, okay? Although I have milk, but you open your dog's eyes to see clearly, where do I look like your mother? Where is it like? yes?

8. My husband worked at Foxconn for 6 years and finally became the team leader. Since becoming the leader of the group, my husband has worked overtime every day until late to come home. Yesterday the boss came back from overtime, I thought he was too hard, offered to let him lie on my leg, give him a massage. But within two minutes, my legs were numbed by him, and I quickly asked him to get up and rub me. The husband whispered while rubbing: It's all routines!?

9. Last week I went to Sanya on a business trip, and my wife, who had just got my driver's license, actually drove my Maiten back to her mother's house. I told my wife to pay attention to safety when driving. As a result, the next day I was still dreaming, and I was woken up by my wife's urgent telephone ringing. Half dreaming and half awake, I heard her whisper: I just want to ask you, how to put away the airbag, and what is the insurance company phone number you bought? I'm no big deal compared to the car!

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