1. A high school student was admitted to the tenth grade of pipa under the advice of his parents, complaining that his parents' requirements were too strict, at this time, his father said to her in a serious tone: "In the future, you will not be able to find a job after graduating from college."

1, a high school student in the parents of the proposition of the entrance to the tenth level of pipa, complaining that the parents' requirements are too severe, at this time, the father said to her in a serious tone: "In the future, you can not find a job after graduating from college, at least you can hold the pipa to the bow of the boat to sell and sing, support the family, get it bad, you can also lean a big money!" The daughter listened and narrowed her eyes, "Dad, are you sick?" ”......

2, today my mother took me to kiss two sisters, the front one that figure is good, convex and upturned. Only the front teeth are a bit like the kind of caries. I couldn't stand laughing. The latter face is particularly delicate and can be included in the goddess level, that is, a little fat. After I came back, I kept thinking about which one to choose, a lifelong event. I must not make up my mind, and I have been struggling all night to think about this. The next day, my mother came back from grocery shopping and said to me: Those two didn't look at you.

3, there is a female elevator worker in the building. Young, pretty, and with a bit of elegance. The thought that I could happily take the elevator from now on made my heart pound. Once I was alone in the elevator and was finally able to confess, I was full of praise for her from head to toe. However, just as I stepped out of the elevator, she said to me very politely: "Uncle, goodbye!"

4, the girlfriend said that the waist pain, today to the hospital for examination. After arriving, the doctor let me shoot a film, and when she went out, she said shyly: So excited, even let me go to the film, who is the director, can the male protagonist please Song Joong-ki? I can do without a piece of remuneration!。。。 After that, I went to do tuina again, and when I arrived at the ward, the goods came again: I didn't expect there to be a bed play! You won't be jealous! I'll have to ask the doctor, the psychiatric department is on a few floors!

5, a male colleague of the company always brought me tea and water to offer hospitality, thinking that it is not small, it is time to find a reliance. When I came home from work, I told my mother about this matter. The old mother said leisurely, "He can't promise to chase you!" This man's eyes are definitely not good, and he can't ask for it. "Why! I asked. My mother glanced at me and replied, "If he has a good look, can you not see that you are pregnant?" ”

6, with the boyfriend long-distance relationship, what interesting things happen at school I will share with him. In class that day, sitting next to me was a boy who fell asleep on his stomach on the table, and his sleeping position was very cute, so I sent a message to my boyfriend: Honey, the boy who sleeps next to me is particularly cute. As a result, the communication station near the school was overhauled that day, and the news was not sent until 12 o'clock at night...

7, the father-in-law went to the sales office to see the house, the salesman: "Sir, quickly buy our house, the new real estate to do activities, buy a flat get a flat!" "The father-in-law quickly bought a 180-square-meter house, but it was only 180 square meters when the contract was signed." The father-in-law wondered: "Hey, isn't it to buy a flat and get a flat, or 180 square meters, it should be 360!" The salesman said: "Sir, we will send it right away, Xiao Wang brought the 6 boxes of Red Bull over, sir, you bought a total of 160 flats, send you 160 bottles of Red Bull!" The father-in-law said angrily: "Buy a flat and get a bottle like this!" ”

8, inspirational weight loss, roommates suggested to me: "You buy the most expensive and smallest size pants, hang on the bedside, motivate yourself, let it become your motivation" And then my brain was hot and I spent more than five hundred to buy pants, but after a long time I could not reduce it... Now my roommate suggests that I change hands to him at half price: What a chess game this is...

9, roommates suggested me: buy the most expensive and smallest size pants to hang on the bedside, so as to motivate myself and make it a motivation for me to lose weight! Then I spent 1,000 bucks on a pair of pants. But after a long time, I couldn't get down. Now my roommate suggested that I sell it to her for 300 bucks...

10, ask the daughter: "Is the mother beautiful?" Watching the child remain silent, I kindly reminded her: "As the saying goes, the dog is not poor, and the son is not ugly." She immediately said: "I am not a son, I can be ugly." "I...

11. Today my mother and two other aunts chatted. Aunt Zhang praised her daughter and said, "My girl is very powerful, and she is a brother in their unit every month." Aunt Wang said: "My girl has been troubled recently, there are several male dolls chasing her, and they don't know which one to choose." My mother also praised me reluctantly: "My girl can eat four steamed buns, a pig's trotter, two chicken legs, plus three buns for lunch."

12, today my mother and two other aunts chatted. Aunt Zhang praised her daughter and said: "My girl is very powerful, and she is the first in their unit every month." Aunt Wang said: "My girl has been troubled recently, there are several male dolls chasing her, and they don't know which one to choose." My mother also praised me reluctantly: "My girl can eat four steamed buns, a pig's trotter, two chicken legs, plus three buns for lunch."

13, I remember last summer there was a climb, climbed half a little thirsty, I felt a bottle of mineral water from the bag, a buddy down the mountain rushed over with an arrow, handed 30 yuan and said: "Sell it to me, thirsty death!" "Before I could speak, the dude had already shoved the money into my hand and snatched the water away. After I reacted, I looked at the money in my hand and was overjoyed, the supermarket 1 yuan five bought ah! Earn a lot of money! Who knew that later at the top of the mountain, I was so thirsty that I was forced to buy a bottle of 50.

14, usually joke with the daughter-in-law, call her surname Jiang! Qingming Festival went to her family to go to the grave, the daughter-in-law's family has more people in the previous generation, and this generation has more people, which is very lively! After eating and playing cards with the brothers-in-law, after a while of thirst, he shouted a sentence of "Surname Jiang, make a pot of tea!" "The air suddenly froze, and when I looked up, the whole family of their family was looking at me!" belch...... Or I'll do it myself!