The company has a new young woman, good figure, beautiful looks, full of charm, I heard that the divorce was not long ago. I took a fancy to her at first sight, chased her for three weeks, and she finally agreed to be my girlfriend

The company has a new young woman, good figure, beautiful looks, full of charm, I heard that the divorce was not long ago. I took a fancy to her at first sight, chased her for three weeks, and she finally agreed to be my girlfriend. Yesterday and my girlfriend went shopping, on the road met a man, looking very obscene, he stared at us both, saw his dirty eyes, I was suddenly angry, shouted at him, look at your sister! Unexpectedly, at this time, a scene against the sky appeared, and my girlfriend's eyes lit up and she shouted: Brother! How do you come shopping, my God, it turned out to be her old brother, this is really a big water washed away the Dragon King Temple, my face brushed red, my girlfriend's brother patted me on the shoulder, smiled and said, to their girlfriend so tight, good, I appreciate you! After saying goodbye to her, when I got to my house, I watched horror movies with my proposed girlfriend, and of course I was happy to watch horror movies with her. A film has not been finished, bang bang, heard someone knocking on the door, a look at the girlfriend girlfriend, I called her to watch a horror movie with us, after the movie, her girlfriend paled and said that she was scared to see it, tonight I must have my girlfriend sleep with her. I sighed, I am doing my own evil, I can't live! Hang as high as Haman!

2. My daughter-in-law and I met at a friend's wedding, and the two of us exchanged contact details. It didn't take long for us to get married. Today my son was mischievous and was caught by his wife and beaten up, and I ignored it. After a while, my son came over crying and slapped me hard. Before I could react, my son cried and shouted, "You marry such a wife, are you worthy of me?"

3. My wife and I went shopping at the supermarket and saw someone lining up at the counter selling roast chicken. Wife: "Someone in line is definitely OK, buy one and try it!" Me: "Now there are many people, come back in a while, you may not have to queue up, maybe you can grab a bench or sofa!" The wife thought that there was some truth, and the two of them went to buy others first. The purchase was basically over, and my wife found a place to sit down and rest for a while, and asked me to see how many people were still queuing up over there for the roast chicken. After a while, my wife heard me shouting to her: "Come here, I've grabbed the couch!" The wife looked at it and got angry: "Dizzy, grab what sofa!" ”

4. Tonight, the girlfriend's family sat on the sofa after eating and watching TV. Suddenly, her 5-year-old son asked her girlfriend: Mom, how did you and dad meet back then? Girlfriend: We were college classmates. Her husband: It was your mother who chased me with a dead face. Girlfriend: Yes, that's right, one day at the beginning of the school, you go to pick up the new students, look at me well, run with my suitcase, I chased you for half a school to catch up with you!

5. My son was recently born, and when the child grows up, he needs money for everything, and the expenses begin to become hidden, so I decided to go out at night to run Didi to ease the family's financial situation. Last night I pulled a girl, and I couldn't help but say a few words: "It's so late, what are you doing when you go out?" The girl said coldly, "Shut up your ass." I was immediately embarrassed, thinking that this little girl actually looked down on me. I said to her, "Do you know what I'm doing?" The girl shook her head, and I said, "My monthly salary is more than 20,000!" She suddenly changed her attitude and asked me for a V letter. I opened the door directly to let her get out of the car, and then the wind swept away!

6. Addicted to the game has not had time to find a partner, the second uncle's cousin can't see it anymore, so she introduced her classmates to me. After we ate Quanjude roast duck together, we went to my cousin's classmate's house to beat up servants. Everyone had been quiet, and I suddenly let out a loud fart, and the scene became very awkward, and they didn't say anything. I wanted to calm down and said, "Old sister, it's your turn!" The cousin said weakly, "Brother, I really can't let it out." ”

7. When I was idle at home, Aunt Zhang introduced me to his son's company. Just a week after going to work, the boss called him to the office and said: You have been fired! I was startled and asked, "Why?" Boss: Today led the way to the company to inspect, you are wearing too irregular, affecting our company's behavior! Me: Where is the irregularity? I wear uniforms, skirts, and high heels that the company uniformly distributes! Boss: You roll me, these are for female workers to wear!

8. When I was studying at Southeast University, I took advantage of the summer vacation to drive a school car. When I learned to drive, I knew a buddy, and we had a good conversation at that time. Now that we hadn't been in touch for years, he suddenly messaged me to get married. As soon as I saw how this could be returned, I pretended not to see it. When it was time to go to bed at night, he suddenly sent me a red envelope, and I habitually ordered it, which was actually 0.01 yuan! Then he told me to go to the wedding, and this routine is too deep!

 #Funny# #搞笑段子 #