1. On the bus, the bus driver asks a young man to give up his seat to the old man, and the young man gives way. The driver said, "Thank you boy, she's my mother-in-law!?" The young man said calmly: "I am voluntary, she is your mother-in-law, can I call her grandma?" The driver was a little puzzled: "Why do you call her Grandma?" The young man's face was wide: "I often ride in your car, I know you well, I know that you have a beautiful girl, and I have a crush on your girl!?" The driver was embarrassed: "Then you are choking, my girl can't even look at my father who has a bus, let alone you don't have a car!?"
2. Dude works at Microsoft and has always had a crush on her young and beautiful female boss. Today, it happened that the female boss passed by the buddy, and the buddy had a plan to stretch out his foot to trip her, and then took her in his arms and said: Should I confess or say sorry at this moment? The female boss listened and said to the onlookers very excitedly: If anyone comes out to help me out, I will promote her to be the manager of the department. Don't say, the hospital WiFi is very fast.
3. Yesterday in the Internet café all night, sitting next to a beautiful woman, I was playing hi, the beautiful woman patted me and said: "Handsome man, I have a fire, borrow a cigarette." I said, "Just call me this handsome guy, give, take this bag." Beauty looked at me with disdain and took out the last one inside.
4. When I was studying at Tsinghua University, I fell in love with a 35-year-old female professor. After graduation, after my hard pursuit, she finally agreed to my marriage proposal. Last night, when my wife came back from school, she was busy writing lesson plans and letting me cook dinner alone. Usually my wife cooks, I have never cooked, so my hands are busy, and my wrist is accidentally cut when cutting vegetables, which is faintly bleeding. At this moment, the wife came in to see how the meal was doing. She saw my bleeding wrist and shouted, "I'll let you cook a meal once, as for short-sightedness?" Get up, or I'll come! "Honey, you really misunderstood me!"
5. At noon yesterday, my colleague returned from my dormitory. At this time, a fat female colleague held a green onion in her hand, peeling it while asking her colleague: Do you eat onions? Colleague: Are your shallots better than mine? Fat Female Colleague: Then you will come over and have two drinks with me in a moment. Colleague: I don't want to be a drinker. Fat Female Colleague:...
6. A colleague told me that she bought a pair of leather pants from the Internet, and the quality was too good. I said, "Isn't it particularly warm and warm to put on?" She said: "Fart in the morning, take off your pants at night, a smell of onions wafting in your face, hot eyes, tears are flowing down!"
7. My brother's house was demolished, and he became a rich man overnight, driving a Rolls-Royce Phantom and wearing a Rolex watch. On weekends, my brother took me out to play. In the highway service area, I saw my ex-girlfriend selling drinks on the side of the road, so I said to my brother: Brother, she dumped me in the first place, you got off the car at the front corner and waited for me, I drove back to install a handful in front of her!! Then I drove the Rolls-Royce to my ex-girlfriend's booth, got out of the car and said: "Come two bottles of water!" Hey, how are you?? My ex-girlfriend was obviously surprised to see me. She stared at the luxury car next to me and said: "I haven't seen you for a long time, it's a good mix!" After some greetings, I took the float. But, damn it, I habitually sat on the co-pilot!!
8. In biology class today, the teacher talked about human muscles. After a while, the teacher asked: There are three kinds of human muscles, which three are the three? I was sleeping and the teacher woke me up. I was confused as if to ask how much meat there is? I said: fat, lean, pork belly. The teacher was furious and said, "You fell into the pigsty."
#Funny Moment#Funny Paragraph# #年度搞笑名场面 #
A wave of wonderful GIFs to !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
