1. Working overtime until late at night, the female colleague said that she wanted to walk with me, passing by a dark beard at the same time, she had to say that she was close. After ten years, she confidently said big words: "Don't be afraid, let go."

1. Working overtime until late at night, the female colleague said that she wanted to walk with me, and at the same time, she had to say that she would go closer. After ten years, she confidently said big words: "Don't be afraid, rest assured, I have learned Sanda, and I will protect you when something happens!" "Just like that, when we turned the corner of the path, we met a handsome man with a kitchen knife and jumped out!" She was very calm, first a scream, followed by a beautiful swivel kick, kicking the kitchen knife in the hand of the handsome man! Then I immediately took out the electric baton in my bag, coronaed her, then picked up the kitchen knife and handed it to the handsome man, and said softly, "I'm sorry, I didn't scare you." "It also scared me, took a few steps back and ran." Such a dark place, what if she hits me? As soon as I ran out of the woods, I realized that my female colleague was gone. The next day, I heard that a woman had an accident in the woods, and I was so frightened that I didn't dare to go to the company, and then I simply resigned. A few days later, a female colleague called me: "Brother, why did you quit?" I was stunned and said, "That night's events have nothing to do with me, I'm just going home!" The female colleague said, "Brother, what do you say?" The boss asked me to call you back, and the company has a lot of things waiting for you? I asked her, "Are you okay?" The female colleague said, "What can I do?" I weakly asked, "Is your boss the one underground?" What position did I go to, and could I be a judge? "Now, if I don't go, I can only bargain and ask for a good position!"

2. I was about to go to bed at twelve o'clock in the evening when I was suddenly called out to drink by a rich and second-generation brother. Watching him sulk and drink, I asked: Don't you have a girl and what are you worried about? Dude: Do you want to know how to get a free chick? Me: Think, let's hear it? Dude: I usually ask my sister out to dinner at night, and then give her a 500,000 card and say to her: There are 500,000 in it, every time you go on a date with me, you will tell you a single digit password, and at this time, 90% of the girls are willing! Me: And then what? He took a sip of whiskey: then on the fifth day I turned off my phone and went to the bank a day early to get the money out of it!

3. At night, I was holding my mobile phone to fill out the graduation materials for my roommate, when the class flower of our class suddenly sent a text message. Clicking on it, Ban Hua said: I want to see you, don't tell anyone, just you and me. I immediately replied: What do you think I am? My roommate likes you so much that you treat him like this! After saying that, I immediately deleted the chat history and returned the phone to the roommate on the upper bunk!

4. In the evening, a buddy drank too much and took a taxi home. Halfway through, the buddy asked the driver: Big brother, why do you say that I can't control my lower body after drinking? The driver said: Normal, man! Drink a little wine and spend the day drinking! Dude said: No, brother, I'm on the urine cart.

5. The beauty of the girlfriend married into the rich, and the sisters were envious. Today, because her local tycoon husband only gave her 300,000 pocket money a month, she had a big fight with her husband and ran to me. The girlfriend said angrily, "He just knelt down and begged me, and I won't forgive him." After an hour, the girlfriend: "If you come to pick me up, I will give him a face and follow him." Two hours later: "I'm too willful, if he sends a V letter to let me go back, I won't care." Three hours later, the girlfriend: "Suddenly I thought that the clothes had not been collected, I first went back to collect the clothes Ha ..."

6. My daughter-in-law bought a couple outfit, and I happily went to work. As soon as I arrived at the unit, I felt that the leader's eyes were a little wrong, staring at my clothes several times, the more I looked at the face, the darker it became, inexplicable! At lunch, I saw the leader in the cafeteria again, still looking at my clothes with a black face, and I was trying to ask him if there was anything wrong with my clothes? Only to see the leader's wife sneak out from behind him, to a stop next to me, the canteen is sensational, the same clothes!

7. I have a young woman who grew up playing to a big green plum bamboo horse, she did not go to college, and then went to work in an electronics factory in a foreign country, and as a result, she became pregnant before marriage. Because the child's father did not want to be responsible, she wanted to beat up the child. My wife and I were not successful in getting pregnant for 5 years, so we wanted her to give birth to a child, and I came to raise her. Now that the child is in the 3rd grade of elementary school, his academic performance is particularly poor. After school last night, he came home trembling: "Dad, I only scored 46 points in today's exam!" I was angry: "If you take the exam again next time, don't call me Dad!" The next afternoon he came back and said, "I'm sorry, brother! ”?

8. When the guests came to the family to cook, they found that they forgot to buy shrimp, so they asked their daughter-in-law to go to the market to buy pounds of shrimp. After a while, the daughter-in-law came back in the living room and shouted: "Husband, I didn't see the kind of red shrimp we usually eat when I went around the market twice." ”。。。 Nima, the heart that wants to die, has it.

 #Funny##Funny paragraph# #今日笑料 #