1, due to the business, the company to send a colleague on a business trip for three days. After he finished his explanation to his wife, he rushed to the airport. It didn't take long for me to receive a WeChat message from my wife. What was the baby doing when he saw the first one? The second is that my husband is on a business trip for three days, will you come and accompany me? The third article was withdrawn without seeing it. He wondered for a moment and then sent a message? Give it to her. She said it was wrong, it was sent to my girlfriend, you are not going on a business trip, I am alone at home and dare not sleep and ask her to accompany me. When the colleague thinks about it, the wife is naturally timid. He sent her a message that his wife is really smart and loves you.
2, colleague finally married the goddess in his heart, but yesterday he found me. He said, "How can I make my wife happy?" I thought for a moment and said, "There are two ways, the first is to buy her a bag and the second is to tell her jokes." "When he came to the company today, I found scratches all over his face. Then he said to me, "What a bad idea! I was beaten up by my wife! I hurriedly said, "Impossible, how do you do it?" Colleague: "I said: Wife, I gave you a bag, she just smiled, and I said, I'm joking with you!" Me: "I don't know how you got married to a goddess so stupidly!" ”
3. When I handed the staff a lottery ticket with 5 million yuan, everyone immediately cast envious eyes. I immediately took out the second one, or 5 million, and everyone was stunned. I took out the third one again, and the air seemed to have stopped flowing. I was about to take out the fourth one when my daughter-in-law kicked me awake: I was not honest about drinking some wine and sleeping, tearing my child's new book to pieces, and laughing so loudly!
4. When I handed a lottery ticket of five million to the staff of the lottery center, everyone immediately cast envious eyes! I took out a second one, or five million, and everyone was stunned! When I took out the third one, the air stopped flowing! ...... When I was about to take out the fourth one, my wife woke me up and said disapprovingly, "I'm not honest about sleeping, I've torn the book apart piece by piece."
5, yesterday to find a master to touch the bone fortune telling, touched for half a day, the expression is more and more serious, I carefully asked: "Have you figured out what is coming?" The master replied, "Rare! The old man has been wandering the rivers and lakes for decades and meets you like this for the first time. I became more and more worried: "What the hell is going on?" The master begs you, tell me. He shook his head: "I can't touch the bones at all, it's all meat!" ”
6, brothers and sisters and I went to the restaurant to have dinner, every time I paid for it. I was dissatisfied: "I spend money on everything, you are like iron roosters without a dime!" My brother and sister pointed out to me: "Because you are the second in line!" I don't understand, theorize with them: "The second place has to check out?" Brothers and sisters: "After eating, don't we all shout 'little two checkout'?" ”
7. Dreaming that he had joined a secret service organization. The examiner told me with a serious face: "Those who are agents must look ordinary, so that people can't remember what they look like at a glance." You rank second in line for grades and are the only ones who qualify. "I asked them how the first-place student didn't get accepted? The examiner replied that after the interview everyone had forgotten what he looked like...
8, the day before the college entrance examination, the old class read a paragraph: "May you be warm in three winters, not cold in spring, dark with lights, rain with umbrellas, may you have good people to accompany you in your life..." He choked up, and cried under the podium. The next morning when I got up, my mother asked me to check the admission ticket, and I said, "You see I have all brought it, ID card, admission ticket, 2B pencil..." I shed tears as I spoke. When I met my classmate in the makeshift study room before the exam, he said to me who was crying, "I hope that next time you cry because you are crying with joy." "It turns out that the coming-of-age ceremony of the college entrance examination taught me not only the courage to find light in the dark night, but also the meaning of separation.
9. In order to ensure the stability of the disciples' income, the beggar gang issued a begging code, the content of which is as follows: First, do not beg to young people wearing headphones and dyed yellow hair, that is called pretending to be forced, they are poorer than us. Second, don't go near the old lady, in case you fall, you can't afford to sell your kidneys. Third, if you see a middle-aged uncle with a young girl, congratulations, this time you are rich.
10, there is a roommate in college who is a rich second generation and has a very rich family. After going to college, I didn't go to class much, and I played games in my dormitory every day. Charge money into the game every day, basically a charge is tens of thousands, full service first. In order to keep the cash cow of the roommate, the online game studio opened a special 24-hour online customer service for the roommate. And only if the roommate plays the game online, there will be a management account to accompany the roommate to fight monsters.
11, the daughter of the neighbor's aunt crossed the mountain big score line, all kinds of show off! I asked in passing: How many points did you get on the test? She said: Not much, just 576 points, originally thought the test was not good! As a result, I took the first place in the class. Then my aunt asked me: How many places did you take the test? I said: Grade six. She pretended to comfort me and said: Next time I try harder, I will be able to be the same as my daughter and take the first exam! So how many points did you take? I said: 680 points.
12) There is a study in the journal consumer psychology that divides people into two groups, one group goes shopping when sad, and the other group only looks at it and can't buy. As a result, 79% of the people in the first group felt that the sadness would weaken, and only 2% in the second group, and the "more you buy, the happier" has a scientific basis.
13, I was waiting for the bus to work, there was a girl very beautiful also waiting for the car, at that time I thought that no matter how many roads she took, I must sit next to her, so I did not go on the route of four cars to my company, the fifth car just came to an Audi A8 parked in front of me, the beautiful girl sat in the co-pilot and went away, leaving only Sabi I took out the phone to call the manager and said: Manager Sun, that I am stuck in traffic here, may be an hour late...
14. One day when I was five years old, my sister who was in junior high school said, "Brother, do you want to learn to write?" I nodded, she hugged me from behind, and taught me to write ten words by hand, this is the first time in my life to write so many words, although I don't understand what it means, but I am still very excited, thinking that it is good to have a sister. Later, I showed it to my parents, and they all praised me for being sensible, and I was even happier, and asked to put the words on the wall. I didn't know until I went to school that the ten words were "Girls should be rich, boys should be poor."
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