Recently, the TV series "Xiao Min Jia" was launched, a TV series that pays attention to the emotions and marriage of middle-aged people, and has become a ratings champion as soon as it was broadcast, and the hot search continues.
Among them, the topic #Xiaominjia quarrel is too suffocating # has resonated with more than 200 million netizens.
In the play, at dinner, Xiao Min's conversation with her mother.
Xiao Min blamed her mother for interfering too much: "How many times have I said that I was going to divorce, if it were not for your matchmaking, he would not have been my ex-husband."
The mother complained that her daughter was ungrateful: "You have always blamed me in your heart, I owe you all, satisfied!" "A good meal, in the end, did not finish."
The audience in front of the TV set said: It is both real and suffocating! But why aren't we like this in reality?
As the saying goes: talking is an art, and words must be said well.
But family is often the easiest place for us to overlook: the stranger, the more polite and polite; the closer, the more careless.
We often give the best to outsiders, but leave the worst temper to the people closest to us. Knowing that the other person will never blame us, we instead rush the knife of speech to our families.
As everyone knows, family members are often the most vulnerable.
01 Speak well to your child
In a family, the best education for parents to their children is to speak well.
Psychologist Dr. Susan Foward, in Poisoned Parents, said:
"Children can't distinguish between facts and jokes, they will believe what their parents say, what they say about themselves, and turn it into their own ideas."
If parents can't control themselves in their daily lives, yell at their children and even verbal attacks, subtly affect their children for a long time, when they encounter problems, they will also copy their parents' behavior and release emotions. How many people recall their childhood, because of the inadvertent words of their parents, and are hurt, and even affected their lives.
If you hurt their self-esteem, they may never, no longer have the confidence to be determined, when the child throws things around, the parents do not understand his age characteristics, do not understand the desire for the act of "throwing", and begin to criticize the child.
You can tell your child: "The game of throwing things looks quite interesting, but a lot of things can't be thrown around at will, they will be thrown badly, so why don't we find another thing to throw, how about you watch the ball?" ”
Speak well to the child, replace the fire with gentleness, and let love accompany the child all the time.
02 Speak well to your partner
In a family, if you want to have a happy marriage, you must talk well.
Neighbor Aunt Wang and her husband divorced. Having just sent her high school-graduated children to college, Aunt Wang filed for divorce and didn't want to delay for a moment.
At this point, a large part of the reason should be blamed on her husband's mouth, the dish is salty, he will say: "Is this salt not for money?" When a child doesn't get good grades, he'll say, "It's not good to study, just like your uncultured mother." Even when Aunt Wang buys a new dress, he will say, "I only know how to spend money, it's really a loser." ”
As she grew older, her husband intensified, and eventually Aunt Wang was disappointed and saved enough, and she chose divorce without hesitation.
In the face of this oil, salt, sauce and vinegar tea in marriage, all kinds of trivial things, if one of the parties is not good at talking, then there is no happiness in the marriage.
Speak well to your partner, face the chicken feathers in life, and walk through mutual understanding and support, and the family will become happier and happier.
03 Because of love, so say every word well
Share with you the secret of speaking well in the book "Please Stop Useless Socializing":
First, praise and thanks, and don't take it for granted
It is easy for us to take the efforts of intimate people for granted, not to be stingy with praise, not to forget to be grateful, in order to make life full of small luck.
Second, encourage and affirm, don't ridicule and ridicule
Jokes and spits should pay attention to proportions, and do not take meanness as humor.
Third, discuss and advise, do not dominate communication
Even people who know each other well will not like each other to point fingers and point fingers.
Fourth, respond attentively and don't be perfunctory
"Maybe, maybe, maybe." These are superficial conversations that don't really respond, giving a clear, heartfelt response that makes the other person feel valued.
Fifth, disagree and not make the other person change in a complaining way
You can express dissatisfaction without attacking the individual, and be realistic, not emotionally complaining.
Language communication is an art, whether it is communicating with children or partners, we must do a good job of talking, life is very short, all love let us start from a good talk together!
Some of the graphics and texts come from the Internet, invaded and deleted.