When choosing a marriage partner, women naturally hope to find a handsome-looking marriage partner with better economic conditions, so that the quality of life in the future can be improved through marriage, without reducing the quality of life. Men, on the other hand, want to find a virtuous wife, willing to work to earn money and take care of the family, so that life after marriage can be comfortable. Graph network.
Is it wrong to think so? In fact, strictly speaking, there is no problem, after all, if you want a better life, there is nothing wrong with it, it is nothing more than a difference in standards. But as the old saying goes, "No diamonds, no porcelain work," the premise that you have requirements for your future partner is that you have the capital to make demands. And this capital must be real, not your sense of self.
"Poor people do not choose wives" shows this problem, people are poor, there are few choices. In the same way, if you don't have this capital, don't feel good about yourself. Blindly elevating yourself, being picky about the blind date when you are blind date, thinking that you have the right to win, you don't know that you have long been eliminated by the other party. In fact, feelings are a two-way choice, not one-sided blind confidence. The following is Wang Ru's self-statement.
My original family has good economic conditions, not to talk about any rich, but I have not worried about money since I was a child. Logically, I am very likely to become a family-dependent "old-age" family, and I may also have an arrogant personality. But I'm just the opposite, probably because my parents started from scratch, and it's not easy to save this little bit of family foundation. They have suffered and know that everything they reap by themselves is truly their own.
So I developed an independent, self-reliant, strong but not stubborn character. But it may also be because of my personality that I wish my boyfriend could grow up with me instead of standing still. Before I started my blind date, I had a relationship that was more memorable because it was my first love. In fact, from the beginning to the end, there is nothing wrong with our relationship, and each other is loyal to this relationship.
We eventually broke up, and the 7-year relationship did not come to fruition but parted ways, because I wanted to "fight" and he wanted to "be stable". After graduating from college, I did not enter my parents' company, but found a job on my own, and after several years of struggle, my parents looked at me with admiration. But on the contrary, my boyfriend is still an ordinary employee, content with the status quo, and feels that enough is enough to eat. He even advised me not to fight too hard, anyway, there is no burden on both families.
When the two of us talked about marriage, I saw that I was not willing to give up the opportunity to be promoted and change to a more leisurely job. He even decided to resign after getting married and concentrate on taking care of his family. I couldn't accept my significant other in any way, so unmotivated. But I also know that he thinks so, in fact, it is not wrong, he is not willing to fight, anyway, there is a native family. But I couldn't accept it, and the marriage I wanted was for both parties to go in and out, work together, and eventually we broke up.
After my parents knew that we had broken up, they were very anxious about my marriage, because at this time I was an older leftover girl. In fact, I personally am not in a hurry, there are many colleagues and friends around, are still single, high-quality single and because of hate to marry the wrong person, which is more hurt, we can tell. But looking at the white hair of my parents' sideburns, I softly agreed to the blind date.
I thought my parents would at least find me some blind dates, but who knows, my parents do have such requirements, but they can't stop some boys' parents from feeling good about themselves. I feel that in the marriage market, the conditions of men can be multiplied by several times to match the conditions of women. So on my blind date, countless ridiculous things happened. Before I finally met my husband because of my work relationship, I was impressed by the strange logic of the mother and son of the last blind date.
At that time, my parents told me that the blind date this time must be reliable, although the economic conditions were not as expected, but we did not rush to the money. I thought to myself, this is natural, my parents have so assured, I once again plucked up the courage to meet. When I came to the agreed place, I saw an aunt who matched the characteristics of the promised good, but the gender and age did not match! Under the gaze of my aunt's unspeakable eyes, I asked her if she was the one I was going to meet today.
My aunt denied it, and I was about to breathe a sigh of relief, thinking that I had made a mistake, but my aunt said, "It is my son who is close to you, and I will check for him first, if I feel that I am still passable, you can see my son." At this time, I was already helpless, but because I was an elder, I still tried to keep a smile and answer the question she asked. After understanding everything in detail, the other party finally had a little smile and said, "The conditions at home are good, and I am satisfied with this." However, your work is too busy, which affects the future of children, so you have to measure well. ”
I was still in shock, she had already called her son over, and when I looked, I was sitting at the 2 tables away from us. I cried and laughed, I wanted to get up and leave, but I looked at the other party with an honest and thick face, thinking that I should either understand it first? Maybe the son is too introverted, so the mother will be extra protective of the calf, and it may be out of kindness to speak more practically. I really regret that I was so understanding at the time.
Finally arrived at the son's home, the mother left, but sat in the original son's position. At this time, I was not in the mood to eat, but Zhang Feng (blind date) said that he was hungry, so I could not stop it. Later, I ordered a drink, he ordered several things, and even ordered one for his mother, I glanced at it, and the order was expensive. Naturally, I didn't eat the last bite, he didn't mention it, I didn't say it, so he ate all the food in front of him.
In the middle, Zhang Feng said a word, which means that women are not like men, and the older they are, the more popular they are. I was at a loss, it was disgusting that I was older, so I shouldn't be too picky, but in fact, he was 4 years older than me. It is said that the work is not very good, I have not abandoned him, how can I start to let me not be picky? However, I held the mentality that even if the blind date was not successful, I would not quarrel, nodded and smiled, and swallowed all the spit.
Originally thought that waiting can also be "good gathering and good dispersion", but Zhang Feng did not give me a chance, when checkout, I said to him let's make AA. I was just worried that he thought I was deliberately taking advantage of him and making him pay alone, even though I had a drink, even though it still contained his mother's food. But I thought to myself, AA is ready. As a result, Zhang Feng did not appreciate it, he heard that he had to bear half of the money, and said in a sharp voice: "We both ate this time is a test of you, passed, I will reluctantly marry you." As a result, you actually wanted me to pay, and the leftover women looked for someone to really try to make money. ”
In my stunned eyes, I realized that Zhang Feng and his mother really thought Zhang Feng was excellent. I think I am a leftover woman, as long as Zhang Feng is willing to marry, I should be grateful to Dade. I finally couldn't hold back and got into a fight with him, no, exactly, with his mom. He said that even if he died alone, he would not be aggrieved to integrate himself into such a family.
The follow-up is naturally that I am not willing to continue to go on a blind date, because I do not want to continue to meet such a blind date, my parents are still very anxious, but there is no way. However, half a year later, I met my later husband at work, and the three views were consistent and very compatible. In addition to happiness, I am also glad that I did not rush to marry myself after the pressure. Getting married is a big deal, you can't get married for the sake of getting married, it's natural to be older and anxious, but you can't be PUA either. Remember that, to some extent, marrying the wrong person is more terrible than dying alone.