Zhou Guoping said: "It is instinctive to be picky about people close to you, but overcoming instinct and not being picky about people close to you is a kind of upbringing. ”
It is common for in-laws and daughters-in-law to be picky of each other, and parents and children to be picky of each other. It is said that more words are lost, and you must control your mouth, but in front of acquaintances, especially family members, it is really difficult to do, and it is easy to appear that the speaker has no intention of listening to the heart. And, indeed, words are like an invisible blade, which can easily hurt each other and cause you to be estranged.
Far and near smell, these four words are not only applicable to the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but also applicable to the parent-child relationship.
Many children are puzzled by a phenomenon, why they are tired and tired to take care of their parents, live with them, personally serve them food and clothing, sick and hospitalized, bring tea and pour water to serve soup and medicine, to the mouth of their parents, even other brothers and sisters who make a few phone calls and take a look.
Even if you pay more, you are not welcomed by your parents, and your parents can't see their own goodness, but only see the benefits of their favorite children, such parents really break their children's hearts.
In the TV series "Know It or Not", Grandma Kong once taught Sheng Shao: "In the homes of people with many children, parents need a bowl of water to be flat in order to have a quiet home." ”
Fatherly kindness and filial piety, your eccentricity will not only lead to the flesh and blood discord between brothers and sisters, but also easily ruin your later life.
"Son, Mom wants to go back, you come and pick me up!" After living in the younger son's house for 1 month, Aunt Chen, who only praised the younger son's goodness and complained about the eldest son's eldest daughter-in-law, regretted it.
Listening to his mother Aunt Chen's words, Mr. Wei felt very helpless, only because he knew very well that it was easy to send his mother away, and then let her come back, and continue to rely on his own family to retire as before, it was difficult, and his wife would never do it.
"Although the son should not blame the mother excessively, but my mother did a little bit, let alone my wife, I can't look at it."
01.
As a daughter-in-law, Mr. Wei's wife is really a kind, generous, reasonable, and considerate woman, who can accept the request of her mother-in-law with two sons to only retire in her own home and take care of her mother-in-law for five years.
"My mother originally asked to move to my house for two reasons, one is that she helped my wife bring up my son, and it was my wife's turn to repay her; the other was that my family's economic conditions were good, the burden was small, my brother's burden was big, and she couldn't bear to trouble her younger son."
It is true that Aunt Chen helped Mr. and Mrs. Wei take care of the children, but Aunt Chen not only took care of Mr. Wei's children, but also took care of the children of the younger son and his wife, and for a longer time.
"My son was brought up with the help of my parents from birth to school, which is also the worst time for children to take care of, and my wife is also grateful to my parents. When my son went to school and my brother's son was born, my parents went to my brother to help my brother with the child, from the birth of the nephew to the university, for 18 years, you say, who is more kind to? ”
As for the economic situation, Mr. Wei's economic situation is indeed better than that of his younger brother, only because Mr. Wei has a contentious son.
Mr. Wei's son, 30 years old, works in a state-owned enterprise, and two people with his wife can earn 30,000 or 40,000 yuan a month, and do not need Mr. Wei to give any financial help. As for the baby, there is a daughter-in-law's mother in charge, and there is a nanny at home, so there is no need for Mr. Wei and his wife to worry.
However, Mr. Wei's brother is not so lucky, the little nephew has graduated now, the monthly salary hovers around four or five thousand, the ability is average, therefore, Although Mr. Wei's brother-in-law has reached retirement age, she does not dare to relax, still continues to work, and has no time to take care of her mother-in-law.
"Although I don't think it's fair, my daughter-in-law has a good temper and doesn't want to worry about my mother, and in order not to let me worry, she let my mother live in, and I lived for five years."
02.
However, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is essentially a triangular relationship, which requires the mother-in-law to be reasonable, the man to be clear, the woman to be filial to know how to be grateful, if the mother-in-law is unreasonable, for the old is not respected, the daughter-in-law is filial piety, and then reasonable, there will always be a day that can't stand it, unfortunately, Aunt Chen is such a mother-in-law.
Aunt Chen lived in her eldest son's house for five years, did not have to do any housework, and her life was taken care of by her daughter-in-law.
"After my mother came, my wife immediately made an appointment for a physical examination, gave my mother a full body physical examination, because my mother's stomach was not good, the doctor suggested that my mother eat less and more meals, so my wife arranged for my mother to eat four or five meals a day. The doctor told her to eat lightly, eat more vegetarian, eat less big fish and meat, especially spicy food, and sugar can not eat more, this is the doctor's advice! However, my mother is addicted to spicy, loves to eat sweet, does not want to avoid eating, and always loses her temper with my wife, saying that my wife has treated her badly. ”
Although Mr. Wei's wife has reached the retirement age, but still working, planning to save more pension money, but after the mother-in-law came, she could not stand the loneliness, always called her daughter-in-law, regardless of the occasion and time, a nagging is an hour, can not hang up, helpless, Mr. Wei's wife resigned from work, concentrated on staying at home with her mother-in-law.
The mother-in-law was sick and hospitalized, Mr. Wei's wife ate directly and lived in the hospital, Mr. Wei was also a hospital company running at two points and one line, taking care of the mother, they all did this step, still did not get the mother's satisfactory evaluation.
"Some time ago, my mother was sick and hospitalized, my brother did not pay for it, the second did not come back to take care of it, only made two phone calls, it is estimated that the length is not more than ten minutes, but in exchange for my mother's filial piety evaluation, you say it is not funny?"
03.
"Xiao Qiang, didn't I say that your mother really doesn't know how to be grateful, your daughter-in-law is so good, I envy death, how come your mother doesn't know to be satisfied?"
A relative went to the hospital to visit Aunt Chen, Aunt Chen poured bitter water with her, saying that living with the eldest daughter-in-law was too suffocating, wanted to eat and could not eat, could not do what she wanted, missed the younger son, even if Mr. Wei's wife came in, Aunt Chen still did not put the eldest daughter-in-law in her eyes, complained about the eldest daughter-in-law in person, and this relative knew Mr. Wei's wife very well, and complained to Mr. Wei for His wife.
"Live with my daughter-in-law, wronged, then you go to your brother's house!" My daughter-in-law is loyal and honest, and she can bear it, but I can't stand it. So Mr. Wei packed up his mother's things, bought tickets, and personally sent her to his brother's house.
Knowing the brother's intentions, the faces of the brother and daughter-in-law became very ugly, and they found a lot of excuses, and after being scolded by Mr. Wei, they had to leave their mother. However, the mother lived in his brother's house for a month, so he called Mr. Wei to apologize, and the brother and daughter-in-law also sent a message to Mr. Wei, hoping that Mr. Wei would take his mother back.
"Son, I really can't stand it, they don't pay attention to me at all, they don't see anyone all day long, no one accompanies me, I don't have a delicious hot meal to eat when I'm hungry, and your sister-in-law is always angry with me."
"Brother, mom is really too difficult to serve, call me at every turn, I am still at work!" How to pick up? If I don't answer it, I'm afraid she will think more, and if I don't take it, will I still work like this? ”
However, the more Mr. Wei thought about it, the more unfair he felt, indeed, let their family bear the responsibility of the mother's pension, this reason does not make sense.
04.
At present, Mr. Wei's mother is still with his brother, and they are constantly urging Mr. Wei, hoping that Mr. Wei will come up with a solution.
As the writer Yu Hua said: "When we treat the world fiercely, the world suddenly becomes gentle and elegant." ”
The best way to deal with people who don't value what you give, no matter who it is, is to stop giving. Only when they realize that you are not a soft persimmon to be manipulated by others and will not respond to their needs, will they find out how good you were and feel regretful.
Since you are tired and tired of filial piety to your parents, and in their hearts you are not as good as your brothers and sisters who only move a few words, then you force other brothers and sisters to take on the responsibility of supporting their parents, so that parents can take a good look at whether their beloved children are really filial piety.
END.
Today's topic: Do you have any good advice to Mr. Wei? Feel free to share your views in the comments section.