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Jane Eyre: "Be self-loving, don't give your whole body of love, soul, and strength generously as gifts, where you don't need it or belittled." ”
Self-love is the basis of loving and being loved. If a person can't even love themselves, how can they love others? And how can you win the love of others?
Most people know how to love themselves, but sometimes they fail to persevere and put self-love in the first place, so when there is a problem with "loving and being loved", they suddenly realize that they have not loved themselves well for a long time.
There is no shortage of such problems in the emotional world, after falling in love or getting married, only to love others wholeheartedly, thinking that as long as you pay more, you can be loved, but you have not been able to do so. In this case, the realization that "blindly loving others is not as good as loving yourself" is the awakening of self-love.
The following woman's realization after experiencing divorce is the awakening of self-love, let's take a look at it together.
Hello Mr. Donglin:
Some people say that if your ex really wants to remarry you, you will have enough patience. In my opinion, patience alone is not enough, but also sincerity.
I didn't want to remarry my ex-husband because he wasn't sincere enough.
We divorced not because of my problems, because I did my best as a wife or as a daughter-in-law. I thought that doing so would be exchanged for a good husband and a good mother-in-law, but I failed to do so.
He regretted it after divorcing me, his feelings were frustrated, and he found that it was better to start a relationship again than to relive old dreams, and he thought of remarrying me. Unfortunately, he used the wrong method, and in my opinion, he did not have the sincerity to remarry me.
If he really wants to remarry me, why doesn't he come to me in person? Why let your mother-in-law do the work for you? Why did my mother-in-law pull her throat and say to me, "You must remarry my son, and you are not allowed to marry anyone else"?
This is clearly putting pressure on me, forcing me to remarry him, not asking me to remarry him. What is the point of me remarrying him? What good can I do? Am I so worthless in his eyes?
To me, remarriage is not only akin to pursuit, but more complicated than pursuit, because there have been rifts in each other's feelings, and if there is no sincerity, if there is no care, remarriage seems meaningless. Instead of wasting time repeating the mistakes of the past, it is better to spend more time loving myself, you say?
Donglin Xiting Emotional Advice:
If a man really wants to remarry his ex-wife, it is best to "do it himself" and should not let anyone do it for him.
Remarriage is different from marriage and divorce, it is purely a private matter of two people, and only when both parties agree, the remarriage will be successful.
Whether it was divorced because the man betrayed his wife, failed his wife, or because of the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, what broke down was the relationship between two people, only with two people, and did not have much to do with other people.
Or rather, other issues are not important, what matters is whether the feelings of the two people can be repaired. Only by repairing the feelings of two people first and then talking about other issues is reasonable.
Personally going to find the ex-wife to remarry, is what the woman said "sincerity", which is the minimum attitude problem, so that the ex-wife can know that "you" want to remarry, not that others want to arbitrarily broker your remarriage.
Finding an ex-wife by yourself is only the first step in sincerity, and then other sincerity is needed, such as patience, repentance, and changes made to remarry. Only these sincerity can make it possible to reopen the ex-wife's heart, and if not, there is basically no hope of remarriage.
If you don't do this, even if you have a strong desire to remarry, your ex-wife will not remarry you, because she can't see hope, can't see benefits, and she feels that it is better to love you again than to love herself.
In addition to remarriage, other issues related to marriage cannot be ignored in good faith, otherwise marriage will be full of disappointment. Everyone wants to love someone and be loved at the same time, and if they can't do it, they will feel that they love the wrong person, and they will feel that there is no need for marriage to continue.