Married for 5 years, 4 years in a different place, the child is 2 years old, the distance is far away, what should I do?

2022.4.6 GOODNOON

I'm a boy, if you have emotional troubles in your heart

Illustration source: Petal Net

Fan Help:

Brother, my husband and I have been married for 5 years, 4 years away from home.

We were all in our hometown when we got married, but after a year of marriage.

The company sent my husband to a branch office in a foreign country to manage.

It was a great opportunity, and my husband did a good job with the branch.

Before the epidemic, my husband would come back every month.

But since the outbreak, I have only been back once in a few months.

And our child is now 2 years old, has always followed me, I am also living in my mother's house in my hometown.

During the day my mom and my mother-in-law take turns to bring it, I go to work, and at night I bring it myself.

My husband now earns 60w+ a year and gives me 2w every month.

I only have four thousand salaries a month, nine to five.

In fact, my husband loves me and my children very much, is willing to be willing to me, and often cares about us.

But the husband has not been there, and the child has not been able to see that the father is not living after all.

My husband and I don't communicate much, but I barely argue.

And it feels like there's less and less talking between us.

Every time the phone call video is like a child as an intermediary, we have nothing to say, we can only tease the child together.

He also told me that I would not go to his side and settle down there in the future.

But one is that I don't want to leave my hometown, and the other is that the employment situation is so poor now, I may not be able to find a job in the past.

And having me as a housewife I really don't want to, I'm afraid of being out of touch with society.

But it is almost impossible for my husband to give up his position over there and come back here.

So now I'm worried and confused, not knowing how to maintain the next marriage.

After all, getting married has been different, and it is really not the life I want.

I want to borrow the platform of Brother Zai to ask all netizens.

If this is the case, how will people choose to do it?

Brother Zai replied:

ay! Such a marital situation can imagine the helplessness in your and your husband's hearts.

After all, your husband is now the boss of the branch,

Whether it was from power or income, it must be much higher than his return to his hometown.

Especially now you are still in the stage of accumulating wealth.

Your income is not high, it can be said that the current family wealth accumulation must rely on your husband.

It is indeed unrealistic or rational for him to return from such a rare position.

Especially as you said, the current employment situation is so difficult.

And the child is now two years old, and there is no need to drink breast milk, and your mother and mother-in-law can also help bring it.

So the only reasonable suggestion I can think of is.

Since the salary of your job is not very high, the impact of resignation on the family is relatively small.

Then you can try to leave your child in your hometown for a while.

Then go to your husband's city to live alone to see if you can get used to it and fit in.

He also tried to find a suitable job in his city.

If you can adapt, you can also find a suitable job.

Pick up the child again, and the child will almost start kindergarten.

In fact, everything can also be on the track to live.

And if you don't fit in, you won't find the right job.

Then plan your husband's plans for the future.

For example, if your husband is ripe, you can try to negotiate with the company to transfer back to the headquarters.

Even your husband has the ability to engage in the industry in your hometown has room for development.

Then it is not impossible for him to go back to start his own business.

But I also understand that plans will never catch up with change.

Especially in the matter of married life, many things are not easy to predict.

But since you cherish this marriage, for the sake of your quality of life.

We can only think about how to make the most reasonable compromises and sacrifices between husband and wife.

And most importantly, you have spoken less and less.

Taking advantage of this opportunity, husband and wife learn to discuss and communicate well.

At least it can maintain the feelings between you to a certain extent.

-END -

If you miss something, you can't miss the following articles

▼

01

02

03

04