After giving birth, I live with my mother-in-law, I only eat steamed buns and pickles every day, and my husband always speaks for my mother-in-law, what should I do?

2022.4.19 GOODNOON

I'm a boy, if you have emotional troubles in your heart

Illustration source: Petal Net

Fan Help:

Handsome and charming cute family status of the highest brother, little black has emotional problems to ask you for help.

I was married to the eldest of two brothers, and on the afternoon of the engagement, my mother-in-law asked him to give the house in his name to my brother.

I agreed but asked his brother to pay the mortgage himself, and his brother agreed for a few days and then disagreed.

When he finished the transfer and when he repaid the mortgage, I felt that his brother had a house in vain, and the matter of a few thousand yuan was still in case we did not suffer losses and did not give.

My mother-in-law said that she had paid a 200,000 down payment to them for this house.

They just wanted their son to get married and buy a house, and I agreed.

When he got married, he gave all the money in the card, advanced his salary for three months, and borrowed 40,000 yuan with his friends, for a total of 188,000 yuan, to his parents.

After getting married, we gave my mother-in-law a few thousand pocket money before leaving, and the two of us had less than ten thousand left.

After three or four months of marriage, his brother was ready to get engaged, and his in-laws bought a house for his brother and let my husband pay for it.

Later, I resigned at home due to environmental problems in pregnancy, and said half a month in advance to come back home ice pot cold stove.

At that time, I couldn't smell the smell of oil smoke and couldn't eat it, and I was weak, and my mother-in-law didn't want to.

Let's say go back to my mother's house for a few months and then come back, and when I am more than three months pregnant, my stomach always hurts.

My mother-in-law's family was inconvenient to come back to my mother-in-law's house in the mountains for three or four hours away from the hospital, and as a result, my mother-in-law was unwilling to come back to take care of me.

I didn't dare to stay in that piece of my mother-in-law's family, and finally I cried and cried that my mother said that my husband had come back to take care of me.

Every day, I put up with the gray rice and rice soup eaten by the steamed bun pickle worms.

Malnutrition in the third trimester of pregnancy, calcium deficiency and iron deficiency anemia, I know that food supplements have no hope to take medicine.

After giving birth to a child, the child in the delivery room was taken care of by me, and the wound was swollen and I cried in pain while holding and coaxing the child to change diapers.

I can get out of bed for 20 days, and I took my sister-in-law to the city with me for 60 days.

When I saw the affairs between several mothers-in-law and daughter-in-law, I recorded them in the circle of friends.

My mother-in-law said that I said bad things about her and told my husband that she couldn't get by with me.

My husband didn't answer my video, didn't answer my phone and didn't reply to my messages, and I thought he was busy.

The next day he picked up my video to explain the reason, and I explained with a smile while coaxing the child with tears in my eyes.

He said that his mother couldn't understand me not to send a circle of friends, let me not go home first, afraid of going back and messing with his mother.

I postponed it for a day and said I would let my mother-in-law, and then he said to transfer 1300 to my mother-in-law.

I said that I was reluctant to give me food for the money, but I still let him turn it around.

Then my husband said that he would give his parents 130,000 yuan, and did not want his parents to go to the construction site to pay off the debt when they were almost 60 years old (to buy a dowry for his brother).

I went from being pregnant to having children for more than two months, and ate a chicken, three or four handfuls of spinach, seven or eight potatoes, and three or four pieces of tofu that my mother-in-law bought.

The rest of the time is steamed steamed pickle noodles, malnutrition to take medicine qi blood deficiency medicine.

We are far from the town, pregnant stomach reasons can not go, with a child no one to take care of me can not go,

I bought her clothes and skin care products, and there are two thousand skin care products.

This time to give 130,000 I said to give 60,000, my mother-in-law after all cooked for me to cook kang.

As for whether it is good or not, he did not promise to give 130,000 yuan, we will 80,000 yuan, from marriage to now he only gave me 48,000.

The child eats milk powder and everything is prepared by myself, paid for by myself, and there is not so much money at all.

I can't think of it, the child I am alone for 24 hours, the mother-in-law I let endure, eat badly and sleep badly no one cares.

A person whose popularity has been exhausted and wronged, and he has to give his parents money to arrange properly for his brother.

Every time there was a disagreement from beginning to end, he was looking toward his family.

I felt like he never took me and my children to heart and didn't treat me like family.

Just blindly let me endure and let go, as long as my mother-in-law makes trouble, he will cling to it.

I can give money through loans, but I feel that it is not worth holding back, and I am sorry for the grievances I have suffered.

He ignored the tiredness of my child, endured the contradictions that could not be tired, and was fierce to make up for it.

I was ready to be relieved at noon that day, and after going out for less than half an hour, I couldn't put the child back and came back to look at it again.

As a result, the child's crying anger could not come out and no one cared about me, so I gave up.

Nowadays, if you want to divorce, you can't rest assured that you can't have children, and you are too angry to be too bad.

Even the snack he bought I bit into tears and couldn't help but throw it away.

He said that if he gave it to his parents, he would not owe it, except for the serious illness and disaster of the elderly, he would not give it again, and would slowly make up for me and my children.

But this time all the grievances were magnified, I couldn't get out, and I was depressed for half a month.

Wandering, can't help but cry suddenly, can't sleep at night to cry, during the day to find a reason to persuade themselves to go crazy again at night.

I want to ask you to see what everyone thinks about this problem, is it my little belly or is he really doing something wrong?

Code or not, no one knows me.

4.3 From my birthday to now, I can't walk out for almost half a month

Divorce is over, it is our parents' choice to bring the child into the world, and I have to be responsible for him.

I can't make him feel inferior and cowardly all his life,

Nor did he want his dirty clothes when he was young and his mother did not take him out to play and be relied upon.

Brother Zai replied:

The first thing I want to say is, girl, you really have to improve your level of expression.

You're not only writing long, it really makes me stunned.

In many places, you have to chew on the words, and you have to go through the paragraphs yourself to understand a little bit of what you want to express.

And the chronological order of the first two paragraphs is particularly messy.

I roughly scratched it up, and the story line should be:

Your in-laws gave you a wedding when you got married.

Then 20w came out to buy a house for you and make a down payment, but this money has to be paid back.

So when you got married, you even saved up to borrow and returned the money to your in-laws.

But then your husband and brother wanted to get married, and your in-laws asked you to pay for him to buy a house.

Then you refused, and the in-laws said to transfer your house to his brother.

And here you actually promised? And let his brother pay the mortgage himself.

But his brother said that he would not pay it back before the household, so it was equivalent to repaying the money for your mortgage once or twice, right?

And it's like saying, you don't have a house now.

Then the in-laws owed a lot of money for their brother's marriage.

So your husband suddenly said to take 13w to your in-laws.

In this way, the time is not long, and your husband can save up to 8w, then the income should be OK.

But the core problem is that after giving birth to a child, your mother-in-law has hardly helped.

It can be said that you are basically alone with the baby, including when you are confinement.

Moreover, since having children, your mother-in-law can say that only one chicken has been bought for you.

The rest of the basic three meals a day are for you to eat pickle steamed noodles.

What makes you feel most angry is the contradiction between you and your in-laws.

Your husband can say almost nothing and always speak for them.

If I'm not mistaken about that.

Then I think that all kinds of things in this are a bit subverting the cognition of normal people.

First, is the mother-in-law really so cruel?

Even if it's not for you, but for the sake of grandchildren, it's too much to let you eat steamed bun pickles every day.

Second, where does the mother-in-law live, and there is only one family like her around?

What's the difference between this and mountainous areas? And your mother's family said that you live in the mountains, then how desolate it is.

In addition, where does your husband work, and you can't live there with him?

Third, since you are willing to transfer the house with a down payment of 20w to your husband and brother,

So why was he reluctant to agree to give some money to support his brother in the first place?

Would you rather give up a house that has been paid off for a while?

This is a bit against normal operation, after all, you don't have a house either.

Fourth, your mother-in-law cooks such nutritious things for you to eat every day.

I don't know what your mother-in-law thinks, but at least your husband has to know that the child is drinking breast milk.

The mother's nutrition is almost equal to the child's nutrition.

These basic common sense you can't communicate with your mother-in-law,

Have you not communicated with your husband about these life conditions?

If so, he just didn't do anything about it?

I'd love to give you answers and advice, but there are really some places that are a bit unconscionable.

If it is as you say, the mother-in-law can be so ruthless and cruel to you.

And your husband doesn't care about you, not even the children.

The only advice I can give is divorce.

It is true that the child is born responsible, but when he meets a grandson who does not love himself,

Especially when you meet a father who doesn't love his children.

I would like to ask, is the maintenance of marriage to give children a father who has a vain name?

The child's inability to feel his father's love is the reason why he will be more cowardly in the future.

Facing a father who has no sense of responsibility does not have any positive help and influence on his life.

So, according to these few things you said.

Of course, this is not a small belly chicken intestine, but incredible.

One is about your future place to live, saying that sending people is giving away;

The second is related to your physical health, not to mention pregnant women, normal people can't stand eating like this every day;

Third, it is normal for the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to have contradictions, but under the operation of the mother-in-law,

Your husband still doesn't listen to it, doesn't ask or solve it, and he wants you to endure it.

And you yourself said that you also endured without causing more contradictions.

And it causes physical and mental exhaustion.

Normal people encounter such situations, needless to say, must be directly depressed.

You even say that you want to be liberated, is this what it means to be born lightly?

If so, you really have to hurry up and tell your husband about these things.

Whether he is still a responsible and responsible man is the final test.

If he continues to let you live like this, you will only become more and more crazy if you don't leave this marriage.

You don't want to divorce for the sake of the kids, but you're crazy, the kids are going to be okay?

So, ah, think about the pros and cons.

The whole text is also rarely heard of you and your husband have communicated.

If you have been because of the lack of communication, many conflicts have become more and more serious.

That really needs to learn to communicate with your husband to discuss ways to change the status quo.

Especially now, after giving birth, you really have to take care of your body.

Having a child is like being born again for a woman,

At this time, taking care of your body is the basis of your physical fitness for the rest of your life.

But if you have been communicating, but your husband has been ignoring your feelings and current situation.

Then you still do not divorce in the name of your children, and finally suffer irreparable injuries.

Although you are not a small belly chicken intestine, but it is all self-inflicted.

Adults should learn to take responsibility for their own lives first.

Because you can't even take responsibility for your own life,

How do you take responsibility for your child's life, don't you?

-END -

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