Male tickets and friends play games for 4 hours without getting back to me, I was angry that he was still playing cold war with me, what should I do?

2022.4.11 GOODNOON

I'm a boy, if you have emotional troubles in your heart

Illustration source: Petal Net

Fan Help:

Boy Brother: Usually reading your articles, I feel that your relationship with Mu mu gets along quite well.

These two days and boyfriend quarreled, hesitated or want to come to ask your opinion...

My boyfriend and I had a fight over some issues these two days.

Then he said, "Calm down for 24 hours," and now 24 hours have passed, and he hasn't looked for me, and I haven't replied to his "calm."

Here's why: He's been saying goodnight to me early for days and then going to play games.

He was indeed playing with friends because he was new to a company, an auditor.

The new hire has a lot to get used to, and has started to work overtime, and after saying goodnight in recent nights I thought he really went to bed.

One day I just didn't have enough sleep and I went up to try to play, and found him online and "in-game" with friends.

The understanding I can give him is that he may want to free up after work and doesn't want to have too many words and states to respond to me.

So I wanted to say "goodnight" as soon as possible to empty myself, but he hadn't returned to me four hours apart the night before.

He fell asleep in overtime, and then a friend called him to call him to the game, and he said that he went directly to the game without reading WeChat.

Then I exploded, thinking I had been left out in the cold for four hours and he didn't explain it to me after playing the game, just saying, "I admit it."

We were together for a short time, the first "so-called" "calm", until now no one has spoken.

But I think it's really wrong with him, and I want to communicate with him.

But at the same time, I didn't want him to think that I couldn't stand the temperament of this day.

Can you give me some of your advice and opinions?

We are still in the early stage of love, the relationship is not stable, in fact, I also understand his pressure.

But I also hope he can coax me, this time it is actually a small thing.

I don't know what he thinks now, I should wait for him to come to me or I will go to him to communicate,

Or is it worth it to continue if he calms down for a day because of this little thing?

Brother Zai replied:

In fact, feelings are later adapting to misunderstandings and adapting to snubs, because no one will always revolve around us.

But for the early stages of love, such neglect is indeed a bit undeserved.

But then again, if this is not the case many times,

I think it is possible to give some understanding in moderation, and there is no need for the other party to give too severe a "punishment" for the first mistake.

Many times adjust your attitude in a different way,

And then to express what you want in the so-called "blame" is actually a sense of care,

Rather than drilling into the bull's horn tip of the event itself, such small things can be solved relatively easily in many cases.

But back to the matter itself, he may have really not opened WeChat and directly blacked out with friends.

This is not impossible for game lovers, because it is understandable to rush the game.

It's just that when you confronted him, he offered to calm down for 24 hours, which made me a little confused.

For couples in the early stages of love, this reaction is indeed a bit abnormal.

Of course, what the root cause is, we have to carefully analyze it to know.

In the end, you blame him for ignoring you when he was 4 years old, and you overspoken,

Or is he really ignoring your emotions?

Finally, I'm a person who values commitment more.

He tells you to calm down for 24 hours and you can wait 48 hours.

If he has not taken the initiative to contact you in 48 hours, I think you must take the initiative to communicate with the other party hard and soft.

First pick out the other party's attitude, ask him 24 hours have passed, hoping that he can keep his promises.

And you, instead of coming with a quarrelsome attitude, your only wish is to solve the problem.

You should apologize for not being arrogant, and please do not run away from the mistakes he admits.

If you can communicate with each other with mutual understanding and problem solving,

Naturally, you can build a new bridge within yourself.

In addition, as a digression, I really don't like to ask if a relationship is worth continuing.

If such a small thing alone can rise to the level of consideration of whether to continue,

So for you, a relationship that can be given up so easily, to tangle with right and wrong is no longer meaningful?

Because as long as you are still together, there are always other problems that are more difficult to solve than this matter, so do you have to consider breaking up every time?

Yes, brother, you're right, I'm not the kind of person who gives up on feelings so easily.

And I will care about some small details, such as you can tell me what you just did when you are busy, I will understand.

But he wouldn't explain it to me when he was busy, which made me feel a sense of gap in my heart.

And I couldn't really understand and understand what he was busy with.

Wouldn't the world of two people be more and more distant?

So I'm all about communicating based on problem solving, but it really gives me the feeling that he's going to run away.

I have tried both soft and hard, coquettish, gentle and even tantrum,

I went to him this afternoon and said, "24 hours have passed, how do you think, communicate well and don't be cold and violent." ”

He then sent me a video with girls around me, and I replied with a "Huh? ”

He said to have dinner with his colleagues, and I said that since it was hard to come out on the weekend, let's take a break.

The answer he gave me was "I'll get back to you later," and yes, "you."

I didn't know he was estranged, although we usually use this kind of "you" to tease each other when we are tired.

I asked him to come out tomorrow to accompany me (in fact, I also wanted to solve our contradictions face to face with him)

However, he still shirked a little, saying that there might be other arrangements, and I don't know if it means love or not.

In my own words, I think we have been in conflict for two days.

There are also some problems that need to be communicated in front of me, and I will want him to accompany me on rare weekends.

If he said there were other arrangements that puzzled me, why couldn't he squeeze in a little time for the two of us?

In my relationship, I only trust one kind of love, and that is the attitude of solving problems.

In fact, there are thousands of ways for two people to get along.

For you, I don't approve of the little details you need,

Because that's your habitual need, but the other person doesn't necessarily accept this way of being in love.

Therefore, this personal preference for love cannot be used as a basis for love or not love.

Of course, you can give up the relationship for this reason, it's your right.

But no matter what, it doesn't matter who is right and who is wrong, but solving problems requires attitude and action.

If a person's attitude to solve problems is perfunctory and snubbed, it can only mean that he has no intention of operating.

Given these performances of your boyfriend, it is obvious that he is deliberately avoiding and alienating.

But this kind of alienation still needs to be objectively analyzed, and you have to reflect on yourself.

If it's been a lot of pressure on him,

These stereotypical requirements are also often used to ask you how he loves you.

Even often unable to control his emotions, it is more likely that he is tired of the relationship.

But if you are not making peace in this relationship,

That may be more indicative of his inner denial of the relationship,

To put it bluntly, it is to find that he does not love you so much, he is gradually snubbing you, and gradually giving up this relationship.

Finally, don't ask why you can't squeeze in time to communicate with you, because it doesn't make sense.

Not being able to squeeze after a fight is never a matter of not being able to squeeze, but not wanting to squeeze for you.

All you need is to think about the situation along the way of your feelings and analyze it rationally.

Analyzing his unwillingness, whether he does not want to die for you, or whether he does not love you and does not want to, this is the key.

-END -

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