The two children of the second-child family, the eldest and the second, which is smarter?
Many parents have given a similar answer to this.
"My family is the boss and honest, the second master."
"Friends around me, including myself, are all smarter and more able to speak the truth."
The same seems to be true of the second-child family around me.
My colleague Xiaowen gave birth to a second child two years ago, and she often sighed: The double quotient of the second eldest is really high!
For example, the same is criticized by her parents, her boss may lose his temper, or even cry and throw, especially willful, but the second can be particularly calm, do not cry, do not make trouble, but also take the initiative to tell her: Mother I am wrong, you don't get angry, angry is not beautiful!
One sentence warmed the mother's heart and the anger disappeared.
The interaction mode of the two children is also very different, the boss will bully the second from time to time, beat the second to wow, but after 10 minutes, the second will run to the boss to show kindness, like a fart, the sister is long and the sister is short, people before and after the call that intimate, there are good food and fun will also take the initiative to share with the boss, minutes will coax the boss to be happy.
Xiao Wen said more than once: If the boss is as smart and good as the second old man, we really have to laugh and wake up in our dreams!
Why is the second eldest in a second-child family more sophisticated than the eldest?
1. Competition between two children.
When the first child was born, he was the only one in the family, the whole family revolved around him, and his parents, grandparents, grandparents and grandparents all spoiled him, and he did not need to look at the color to take advantage of the benefits.
After the birth of the second child, it is different, there is a boss in front, and it is inevitable that it will often be compared with the boss. In order to compete with the boss for favor and get the love of his parents, of course, he must do his best.
He must be able to look at the face, to be able to coax people, to be able to sell cuteness.
This is not a mental trick, but a survival instinct of people.
And more importantly, he can learn from the interaction between his parents and the boss, and he can know what rules are in the family without being taught, what things he does may be criticized, and what things his parents will be happy about.
The boss's "lesson from the past" is the reality textbook he learns, which makes the second brother often have high emotional intelligence in addition to intellectual development.
2. There are "little teachers" who teach closely.
When the eldest was born, only his parents taught, and when the second eldest was born, in addition to his parents, there was also the eldest, a small teacher.
The second brother can't eat with a spoon, he can imitate the boss to pick up the spoon and learn to eat it by himself.
The second brother is illiterate, but when he sees the boss reading, he will also pick up the book and look at it like it.
The boss can also take the book to tell stories to the second brother, teach him to recognize words, and unconsciously do a good job of "young and small connection".
Especially after entering the primary school, the senior of the grade can also act as a half tutor to tutor the second eldest of the lower grade.
Compared with mom and dad, the eldest little teacher is more suitable for the second child, especially the age difference between the second child and the age difference of 3-5 years, the advantage is the most obvious. The two children are similar in age and the difference in abilities will not be too great.
From a pedagogical point of view, the ability of the eldest is always in the "recent development zone" of the second eldest.
This level of learning difficulty can not only challenge children, but also will not be difficult enough to make them afraid, and the child's learning effect is the best. And with such a small teacher, how can the second brother not be smart?
3. Parents' education is more handy.
When the first baby in the family was born, it was the first time to be a parent, there was no experience, parents from the baby touch to the addition of complementary food, and then to parent-child early education, tutoring homework, psychological counseling, etc., all of them felt the stones to cross the river, can only learn while taking the baby, inevitably will take a lot of detours.
After the birth of the second is different, when the parents are born and the second is mature, they already have rich experience in parenting, the mood is more peaceful, and they will be more tolerant of their children.
And it is precisely because they know how to choose, parents can quickly find the right way to educate their children.
The updated iteration of parenting skills by parents will also accelerate the growth of children, the child's education will be more comprehensive, and the IQ and emotional intelligence will develop better than the boss.
The eldest is actually smarter than the second eldest
The second is more sophisticated than the old, which is the consensus of many people. However, Wei Kunlin, a psychology professor at Peking University, said: In fact, the boss is smarter than the second oldest. Why did he say that? He gave two reasons.
1, the boss gets more attention.
After the eldest was born, the attention of the whole family was gathered, and the parents were also trembling, many of them were raising babies according to books, and they were particularly delicate, afraid that the children would miss something.
After the birth of the second eldest, the parents' mentality is more relaxed, they will no longer pay as much attention to the boss, and the education is more casual.
The different degrees of attention of parents directly lead to differences in children's intellectual development.
2, parents have higher requirements for the boss.
Many parents in Chinese families will ask the boss to "let the younger brothers and sisters" and "bring the younger brothers and sisters well", in this process, the boss must often reflect on what is right, what is wrong, and what are the rules of the family.
Many times, the eldest is involved in family life as an educator, he needs to organize his knowledge, to understand the rules, to apply the rules, which will promote his intellectual activity and become more intelligent.
About the second child family in the end who is the eldest and the second oldest, who is smarter? There is no consistent answer to this question.
Some families are the second smartest, some families are the eldest smart, and some families are two babies, one with higher emotional intelligence and one with a higher IQ.
Although the situation is different for each second-child family, it is basically the same in terms of the key elements that make children smarter.
That is, enough attention and love, a harmonious family atmosphere and a tolerant educational attitude of parents.
Enough attention and love can give children a strong sense of security, so that they are more courageous to explore the world, in constant contact with the world at the same time, and constantly promote the connection between neuronal cells, children are getting smarter and smarter.
A harmonious family atmosphere can establish a healthy relationship of competition and cooperation between children, so that they can learn from each other and make progress, Dabao can grow rapidly from the process of teaching Xiaobao, and Xiaobao can also constantly challenge his recent development area under the leadership of Dabao.
Parents' tolerant educational attitude can make children have enough room for growth, let them dare to try, dare to try, dare to make mistakes, and learn to constantly summarize in mistakes, which will promote intellectual activities and make them more and more intelligent.
Topic: Which child is smarter in a two-child family? Eldest or second-
Hello everyone, I am a worm mother, a multi-platform original parenting blogger, a middle-aged girl who wrestles with 8-year-old children every day, focusing on sharing dry parenting goods, and the social life observation of an ordinary mother.