Prodigy Zhang Qiaoqiao: A good hand, beaten by his parents
The smarter the child, the easier it is to be burdened by excellence and limited by genius.
Compared with the advanced learning of believing in the reins, these "particularly smart" children need to hold their reins, feel more diverse worlds, tap the breadth of life, and find their true love.
Author: Scorpion.
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A few days ago, I watched a short video filmed by Jiupai News about the current situation of "16-year-old doctoral prodigy Zhang Qiaoqiao", and I felt mixed tastes.
In the editing of the short film, the director put a few of his uncomfortable expressions in a very prominent position.
"By parents." "And the parents' parents." "What if parents don't want to? If you don't want to, you have to be willing. "My parents still owe me a house, with a market value of 10 million."
A giant baby image with high scores and low energy, no empathy ability, and incompatible with mainstream society jumped out.
Plus a few other details.
For example, Zhang Qiongqiao currently has no fixed job, is satisfied with the status quo, has not made a real paper, his parents regularly send him money to subsidize his life, and there is little left in the balance of the card...
28-year-old Zhang Qiongqiao, the highlight of his life occurred at the age of 10, that year he was admitted to university, became a prodigy reported by the media, and then at the age of 16 was admitted to the doctoral program of Beijing Aeronautics and Astronautics, graduated 8 years later, and has not achieved anything.
Is this a life dragged down by the "aura of child prodigy"? Or an excuse for self-loathing? Or is there something else?
Zhang Qiongqiao's mention of Li Bai is quite meaningful
Regarding the evaluation of this "prodigy", I also had a few arguments with my friends.
After watching the video, my friend commented:
He has no ability, complains about his father and mother, and complains about the environment, a giant baby with high scores and low energy. ...... Do you have to go abroad to have a future? Must have a house to be lucky and successful? Many people start from scratch, buy their own house, and their education is not as high as him, but they are also successful, why doesn't he look for reasons from himself?
Does this sound familiar? A taste of "Li Jiaqi" upper body.
Tell me about my conclusions.
I sympathize with Zhang Qiongqiao, in terms of his views on some practical issues, he has a self-righteous "human sobriety", which stems from the gap between ideals and reality, and is the conclusion that he is helpless in a confused period.
This is not Zhang Qiongqiao's problem alone, this is the silent resistance of thousands of young people who are struggling and undetermined to the cruel reality.
However, this by no means represents the failure of Zhang's life.
He is only 28 years old, just like his teacher's encouragement at the end of the video: "You haven't taken off yet, talk about the fall... Life is just beginning, and some people don't get their doctorates until they are 50 years old. ”
As for Zhang Qiongqiao's relationship with his parents, I also quoted a netizen as commenting:
His parents used his childhood to satisfy their ignorant vanity, and then withdrew when it was time to try to support their children. Under this deformed education, he can live like this and support himself, which is strong enough.
True prodigies can't be ripened
In the interview video, the reporter asked Zhang Qiaoqiao, do you think you are a child prodigy?
Zhang replied, "I don't think so. ”
Zhang's reason is that there are many IQ test questions on the Internet, and his results are all around 140. Many of the children around me are not inferior in intelligence to themselves.
Zhang said: "I am no longer the youngest undergraduate student, nor the smallest master's student, and there will soon be younger doctoral students than me." ”
The reporter asked him again, how do you think you compare with the prodigy at the level of Wei Dongyi and Liu Zhiyu.
Zhang said: I think I am on par with them, a little lower.
As to whether Zhang is a child prodigy, his university teacher gave a relatively objective answer.
Zhang Yuehui is a professor at Shanghai Jiao Tong University and taught him three courses during his undergraduate years. "The grades are very good, generally the first place, and I was admitted to graduate school in my junior year, and I have to graduate early."
At that time, another professor contacted a German university to send him to Germany to train, "[Germany] cultivates geniuses better than ours." ”
But Zhang was not able to go to Germany because he was only 13 years old at the time, and did not meet the minimum requirement for independent admission to German universities at the age of 14.
The school persuaded Zhang's parents to wait another year, but the parents were unwilling to wait, and insisted that Zhang Qiongqiao graduate from graduate school, once again refreshing the record of the youngest graduate student.
Zhang only graduated with a doctorate in 8 years, and he almost failed to graduate. The debts that were ahead of time had to be repaid during the doctorate, but the lost childhood could not be recovered.
Judging from these experiences, there is no doubt that Zhang Qiongqiao is a rare prodigy, and he is one in ten million people in the crowd who has extremely high talent.
It's just that such a genius - extremely good in one field, but relatively slow in others. That bit of intellectual excellence may work in school, but it is simply not enough to cope with the peaks of adult society.
Meeting parents who understand the laws of education, he may be able to become another Wei Shen; But once the shortcomings are wasted, coupled with all kinds of wrong decisions, it is not surprising that a good hand is played thinly.
Resentment towards his parents became a legitimate reason for his rotten life
It can be seen from past reports that Zhang Qiongqiao's resentment towards his parents has a long history, and this resentment has become a legitimate reason for him to "rot" his life.
As adults, of course, we must try our best to get out of the shadow of our parents, rather than blindly burying the original family. But looking back at Zhang's experience, his parents played a key role in several life decisions, but he had to sympathize with him.
The story is relatively long, here are 2 key points briefly shared.
1. The cost of getting ahead of the curve.
In elementary school, Zhang Qiaoqiao kept skipping grades, but when he reached junior high school, his grades were very poor, almost the bottom level, and he barely went to high school and was still not excellent.
Although he was admitted to a university at the age of 10, Zhang Qiaoqiao's test score was only 505 points, and if he added 50 points, 555 points still could not be admitted to a 985 university. Therefore, Zhang Qiongqiao's first education is a second book that is not in the flow.
At this time, even if he waits another 2 years, when Zhang Qiongqiao is admitted to a decent 985 school, his scientific research experience may be very different, and his mind is mature enough to enter the university campus.
The decision to give up studying in Germany and stay in Beijing was another blind command by his parents.
At that time, Zhang was 13 years old, and he could seize the opportunity to study in Germany within a year. But perhaps to set a new record for the youngest graduate student, he had to pass up that opportunity.
"If it weren't for his parents' confusion, his family would now have a son who was admitted to 985 at the age of 11 and went to Germany to study for a doctorate at the age of 14, and a set of Beijing real estate that was several million at the time but is now 10 or 20 million." Netizens commented.
2. He is the hope of the whole family.
"My parents put their dreams on me, so they should work hard for it."
This sentence was given by Zhang Qiaoqiao when he threatened his parents to buy a house in Beijing and answer questions from the media on the grounds of thesis defense. It sounds a bit harsh, but it doesn't make sense.
Since childhood, Zhang has become the hope of the whole family, and his parents' lives revolve around him, and he has borne the pressure that should not be borne by children of this age.
When he went to college at the age of 10 and came to Beijing, he strongly felt the gap between himself and his local classmates. He already knew what he meant to his family. Ask his parents to buy a house and do something for him based in Beijing.
"You are the ones who wanted me to stay in Beijing the most, and you should work hard for this." More than a decade ago, Zhang Qiongqiao shouted at his parents in the media.
Now the reporter asked him: "At that time, was it serious to say that you would not study for a doctorate without buying a house?" ”
Zhang Qiong smiled and said, "Obviously not serious. Both sides have compromised, and mine is even greater. ”
With some breezy words, I realized that many of the media's evaluations of him came from misreadings.
The legend of Zhang Qiaoqiao is the result of running ahead of time. But life will not be wonderful all the way because of "rushing", fast-forward life deprives children of childhood at the cost, these "debts", in the end, are to be repaid.
It's too early to talk about a life of failure
"I have a Beijing hukou and a Beijing real estate. This is my definition of success 12 years ago. And now, I'm home from all over the world, and it's fine everywhere. ”
"I am very satisfied with my current state, unemployed and light."
It seems that Zhang Qiongqiao is an old man who has no desire to lie flat and gnaw, but there is a sentence that reveals his true thoughts.
He said: "If there is anything I am not satisfied with, it is that I have not made a really good paper so far, and it is a regret that I have not been successful academically. ”
Zhang Yuehui, a teacher who has known Zhang for 20 years, sees his changes in his eyes - he used to be a newborn calf and a young genius who boldly said when he had an idea, slightly arrogant but not talented. Now I have experienced too many setbacks and am in a period of confusion.
How difficult is scientific research, how difficult it is to change tracks. It is not a fluttering "you have to work hard, you have to cheer up" can be bright, otherwise life will be too easy, not to mention Zhang Qiaoqiao has been exposed to the media since he was a child.
So far, Zhang Yuehui is still optimistic about Zhang Qiaoqiao's ability, and he said to the camera: "Even if Jiang Lang is exhausted in the field of mathematics, you can do business, don't lie flat." ”
The teacher's two words of encouragement were really moving.
He also said: "You didn't take off in the first place, what kind of fall are you talking about?" He may be an airplane that can travel thousands of miles, but you're not off the runway, you're still taxiing on it. There are many big leaders and university scholars who only got their doctorates at the age of 50, and Zhang Qiongqiao has more than 20 years to go to the age of 50, and he definitely has time to make earth-shattering careers. ”
Reflections on home education
Finally, let's talk about how Zhang's parents played their children's good cards and what enlightenment did they have for the majority of parents.
1. Overcome your "parental desires" and acknowledge your limitations
"I don't know how other people's parents are, but I feel like my parents are more than normal for controlling me."
In 2022, his parents also tried to give advice on Zhang Qiaoqiao's career planning, and at this time, Zhang Qiongqiao, who has graduated with a doctorate, his cognitive level is obviously beyond the reach of his parents.
"They obviously don't understand anything and are still pointing fingers." Zhang Qiongqiao said the words in his heart that had plagued him for decades.
The painter Chen Danqing said: A big problem for Chinese parents is to learn to control their "parental desires". Don't think that the child doesn't understand anything, don't take a child too much, and don't trust the child's own judgment.
Zhang Qiongqiao is too young in the critical period of fame and talent, it is difficult to say "no" to parents, and it is indeed difficult to be alone, coupled with the strong desire of parents to control, resulting in the result of one wrong step.
At this time, if parents can take care when they should take care of them, quit when they should quit, and let go when they should let their children make independent judgments, the story may be different.
This is very demanding for the parental landscape, after all, not every parent can catch a super-gifted child.
2. May you be brave and wise in your life
Hao Jingfang wrote an article called "May Your Life Be Brave and Smart", in which she, as a gifted student and competition student, looked back on her own growth and learning experience and said the life difficulties common to many gifted students.
That is: confusing the feeling of "success" with the feeling of the thing itself.
That is, when habitually seizing this mountain of "first grades", the experience of enjoying the pure process is missed. "Not being able to immerse yourself in things is the biggest obstacle to not being able to improve in any field."
In Zhang Qiaoqiao, you can also see that in the process of chasing success and setting a new genius record, he gradually lost his love for mathematics and the confusion of his original intention.
In the video, Zhang Qiongqiao also revealed: he wants to jump a grade, he also knows that he has been smart since he was a child, knows that he is talented, and the promotion of his parents makes him more and more galloping.
But at this time, it is necessary to slow down, to slow down, to pull the reins. Hao Jingfang said: "Being smart hinders true bravery. "Excessive chasing of grade skipping, prestigious schools, and advanced learning actually reduces the freedom of geniuses and makes them narrower and narrower on a road.
The smarter the child, the easier it is to be burdened by excellence. This is the common root of almost all "wounded Zhongyong" stories.
But fortunately, the "rotten" Zhang Qiongqiao is trying to reject the label of "genius" and is trying to jump out of the shackles of success learning.
He will break into a butterfly and make a blockbuster day.