"Garbage education" brushed up the parent group: behind the excellent children, there are such parents!

Someone on the Internet asked: What educational methods have surprised you?

The answer with the highest praise is "garbage education".

Don't get me wrong, here's the thing. One morning, my 5-year-old son just got up and yelled that he wouldn't go to school.

In this case, most mothers are not surprised, and the methods are naturally magical:

Either patient persuasion, gentle encouragement;

Or take a delicious and fun "lure";

Or temper tantrums intimidation;

......

In short, send to school no matter what.

But the mother was different, she agreed, but with one condition: to pick up the garbage.

She told her son that if he didn't want to go to school, he had to learn to make money, but because he was young, he had to pick up garbage.

As soon as he heard that he could still earn money without going to school, the little boy was as happy as a bird out of the cage. Gleefully picked up the garbage and went.

But under the scorching sun, I walked 3.5 kilometers, but I only changed 2 baht, about 4 cents.

The money earned after a hard day is not enough to take the bus home, let alone buy your favorite ice cream.

4 cents, nothing can be done.

Finally, the little boy took the initiative and said, "Mom, I want to go back to school." ”

Don't fight, don't scold, or even nag, only through a life experience, but let the child understand from the bottom of his heart that "if you don't eat the pain of learning, you have to eat the pain of life".

In fact, every child is born with a blank piece of paper, the parents are the people who paint, and the key to what the white paper becomes lies in the parents.

Education is not difficult, it only takes 100% love and the right approach.

Unfortunately, most parents are full of love, but they go further and further down the wrong path:

Threat and intimidation: Although it can be effective immediately, over time, the child is inferior and timid and cowardly;

Public accusations: The child admits to being wrong on the surface, but slowly stops communicating with you;

Words do not count: at the same time lose their prestige while losing their faith, and whatever they say in the future, the child will no longer take it seriously.

My friend Xiaolei was once such a mother, listen to her "monster upgrading" road, maybe you will find the answer to your parenting problems.

Anxious mothers can't raise smart children

The method is correct, and writing homework can also be "parent-child time"

Like most post-80s mothers, Xiaolei is particularly anxious: worried that she is not doing well enough, worried that her children will not be able to catch up with others...

During the winter vacation last year, within a few days of the mother's kindness and filial piety, Xiaolei launched a worry:

My child is 10 years old, these days of vacation, either playing with mobile phones or watching TV, how to make her write homework can not move, scolding also scolded, yelling also roared, no use at all.

When I think of other people's children, they all take advantage of the winter vacation to learn this and make up for that, I am anxious, how can I catch up with the start of school...

You know, the child is like a sponge, will continue to absorb the mother's anxiety, and then a variety of problems.

The more you urge, the more she rubs, so if you continue to teach, the child may always hate learning.

After Realizing this problem, Xiaolei began to adjust her education methods:

Family education responsibility division method: husband and wife should be a "comrade-in-arms relationship" of mutual assistance, what you need is to skillfully let the husband take the initiative to participate in the education of the child;

Test point quiz method: turn boring learning into a game, and use the "one question and one answer" competition method to make children completely fall in love with learning;

There is a proverb that says: Whoever has a will, things will be done.

But if you don't understand the method, this sentence is of no use for educating children.

Strict party: do not do homework is not allowed to sleep, at every turn to reprimand and accuse, parent-child relationship is in jeopardy.

Make-up party: Crazy to enroll children in classes, the result of children's homework until midnight, class dozing off.

Reward Party: Changing the law to reward children, causing children to lose their internal drive, and they will not do things without rewards!

Every move of the parent will affect the growth of the child, and we must first figure out how to teach it in order to let the child win at the starting line.

Behind every excellent child must be a mother who understands education.

Sent three sons to Stanford

My parenting outlook is only 12 words

Hello everyone, I'm Chen Meiling.

A lot of people know me because I debuted as a singer at the age of 14.

I won the 1983 Hong Kong Golden Disc Awards with Cheung Kwok Wing, and people often compare me to Teresa Teng and Momoe Yamaguchi.

At the age of 30, I met a love affair and then got married and had children.

But I don't want to give up on my career.

So I had to take my nursing son with me to work, but I didn't expect to cause controversy in the media circles.

Major media voiced questions: Chen Meiling is too greedy, and she wants to work, get married, and have children, how is this possible?

I was furious: Why can't women juggle family and career?

I'm biased! I not only have to work, but I also want to give my children a better education.

The next year, I took the eldest and 8 months pregnant, and was admitted to stanford, a world-famous school, to pursue a doctorate in education.

As soon as I entered the school, I was hit by reality.

In the face of doubt, my heart was tormented: Chen Meiling, if you want to be a good mother, you should teach your husband and children at home, instead of taking your children to study abroad!

While studying with the baby, I was so tired that I almost fell down: when my son wanted to drink milk, my friends would carry him outside the classroom, and I would ignore the eyes of others and come out to feed my son.

I've had a lot of times when I'm about to get out of my way.

But no matter how many times I wiped my tears, I told myself that I must learn more knowledge so that I can become a good mother.

▲ Chen Meiling's 3 sons have their own personalities

During my PhD at Stanford, I tried to play to my mother's strengths and apply what I had learned:

Cultivate children's learning ability by learning from each other's strengths and complementing each other's weaknesses with points and areas;

Use carefully selected mini-games to develop your child's concentration;

Use music, art and sports to strengthen the physical fitness of children.........

You all know the result.

I successfully graduated from Stanford and became a Mom of PhD in Education.

And handed over the proud answer sheet as a mother: after graduating, all 3 of our sons were admitted to Stanford University, which is ranked third in the world!

You know, Stanford was once a more difficult school than Harvard!

When the 4 of us stood in front of Stanford University for a group photo, looking back on my educational experience over the past 30 years, I was even more convinced of the 12-word secret of educating children:

The mother is also a teacher and a friend, and the child is both good at character and learning.

I do not advocate finding cram schools for children, because I am a mother, I can give children's life guidance, training institutions can not give;

I am more opposed to the child completely entrusted to the school, the teacher will not understand the child better than the mother, according to the aptitude, the teacher is too difficult;

"Parents love their children, but they have far-reaching plans", which also leads to most parents giving up the near and far, forgetting that they are the good teachers of their children.

Raised 3 sons to become Stanford high-caliber students,

There is no better candidate than parents

Many parents have asked me a question: Mei Ling, how did you raise your three sons to become high-achieving students at Stanford?

And I always answer:

100% love + the right way.

When it rains, I take my kids to the park to look for snails and see the raindrops.

They have a lot of fun and will cutely ask you, "Mom, where in the world does it rain the most and where does it rain the least?" ”

Curiosity is a precious gift for children, and using it well will bring incredible changes to children.

▲ Chen Meiling and two sons

If you want to teach good children, you must let your children understand the importance of principles.

My eldest son did not get good grades in elementary school, and once lied that his test results did not come out.

I thought to myself that this is too serious, and honesty is a bottom line that must not be touched. So I kept talking with my son, talking about tiredness, eating something, and the two cried and hugged for 8 hours.

Principles determine habits, and habits determine a child's life. From then on, the eldest son never hid anything from me.

One of the most important things in educating children is to cultivate a "self-identified heart" in children.

Many children don't like to ask questions because they're afraid they're going to be silly.

But I never compare my child to someone else. In all these years, I have never said anything like "learn from my brother quickly".

No one is perfect, and everyone has deficiencies. I always tell my children: you are always the best, ask questions.

Even if others learn, others are others, they are themselves. Even if a hundred people disagree with you, express your views in an upright manner.

▲ Chen Meiling and the children

When I am confused, I teach my child to choose the more difficult path.

If you choose the path that is difficult to take, you will have to make more efforts, but from the results, you can further improve yourself.

The real decisive role of the result of going to a famous school is the child's learning ability, concentration, self-confidence, integrity, questioning and expression, etc...

Don't ignore these soft powers, this may be the underlying ability of children to open the gap with others in the future.

No hitting, no scolding, no complaining

Be a good teacher for your child

I have too many parents around me, because they do not understand education, and they are caught in the heart of day after day:

Children are only fascinated by games and anime, why can't they learn well?

Can't control the tantrum to the child, and regret it?

Take care of two babies, seriously overdrawn every day, tired enough to sleep badly?

The words and deeds of parents will be engraved in the child's subconscious, thus affecting the child's life. If you want to cultivate excellent children, you must first cultivate yourself who is not chaotic.

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