Chen Meiling, a doctor of education who sent her three sons to Stanford University, said in an interview: "The most important thing in educating children is to cultivate their self-affirmation. ”
What is self-affirmation?
It is to accept yourself, accept the good side of yourself, and also accept the bad side of yourself; affirm your own value, know how to love people, and know that you deserve to be loved, and you are a person who is useful to society.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" >why cultivate children's self-affirmation? </h1>
Children with strong self-affirmation are generally broad-minded, and they will not be jealous because others are doing better than him, but will be happy for others from the bottom of their hearts.
His popularity will be relatively good.
Children with weak self-affirmation have particularly strong self-esteem, cannot tolerate criticism from others, and cannot listen to the advice of others.
In fact, among us adults, you will find that some people like to exalt themselves by belittling others, which is why their self-affirmation is relatively weak.
Naturally, such a person will not be too popular.
Therefore, self-affirmation is very important.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > how to cultivate children's self-affirmation? </h1>
1. Parents should love their children
However, this "love" is not "coddling" or "indulgence".
"Love" is that parents must know how to distinguish between good and bad, and cannot blindly indulge their children, but they cannot say something that hurts their children's self-esteem, or abuse their children excessively.
None of this allows a child to feel the love of his parents.
Indulgence makes the child feel justified; scolding makes the child feel that he is not worthy of being loved.
Therefore, parents should encourage their children and, of course, point out their mistakes and tell him how to correct them.
However, when pointing out the child's mistakes, only say the thing that was done wrong, and do not define personality.
For example, "Today, you left your language books at home" instead of saying, "How do you always lose things like this?"
Parents' "personality definition" of children will make children form self-awareness, especially negative, and it is easy for children to feel that "they are not good enough", "they are not good enough", "they are like this".
2. Do not compare children with others
Always comparing your own children with other children will make your children feel inferior.
Dr. Chen said that when she was a child, her sisters were better than her, and every time her mother took her out, someone would always ask her mother: "Why is Meiling not like her sister, her looks are not like her, and her reading performance is not as good as her sisters?" ”
Every time my mother had to say sorry to someone and then explain it. Dr. Chen said that at that time, she felt that she was a useless child, very inferior, and felt that if her mother did not have a daughter like her, she would not have to apologize to others.
Therefore, do not compare children with others, in fact, each child has its own advantages and disadvantages.
As parents, we must compare our children's today and yesterday, let the children see their own progress, and let the children know that they can do it.
Only when children are encouraged, loved, appreciated, and carry forward their own shining points by their parents, can they help cultivate self-affirmation.