What is it like to raise three bully kids?
I think it should be very proud and hard!
Chen Meiling is such a legendary mother, she became popular in the 1980s and was a famous singer, but it did not take long to retire, and then Chen Meiling, who got married and had children, did not choose to be a full-time mother at home, but took her children to be admitted to Stanford University with a doctorate in education, while studying and raising children.
Now Chen Meiling's three sons have been admitted to Stanford University, making her known as a mother again.
The "Matthew Effect" in Parenting
The admission of Chen Meiling and her three sons to Stanford University reminds me of the famous "Matthew effect."
The "Matthew effect" originally represented polarization in economics, with the poor getting poorer and the rich getting richer. Extended to parenting, good parents can often produce excellent children, and excellent families will become more and more prosperous.
The reason why there is a "Matthew effect" is because excellent people will accumulate more resources, just like Chen Meiling, she has generously shared her educational experience, she believes that good teachers can influence children for three or five years, but the influence of good parents is a lifetime.
Therefore, since Her children went to primary school, Chen Meiling has been influencing children with practical actions.
She summarizes her experience into the following 10 points:
1, never compare your own children with other people's children (give children confidence).
2, appropriate rewards for children (do not use material rewards, you can reward children to do what they like, the family to go to the playground, etc.).
3) Don't force your child to learn (cultivate your child's interest in learning, rather than making your child see learning as a "task").
4, do not give children extracurricular cram schools, do not let children think that learning is to get high scores.
5. Do not make choices for children and cultivate children's decision-making ability.
6, do not scold the child, communicate with the child more.
7. Cultivate children's sense of responsibility.
8. Try not to lie to your child.
9. Try to take 10 minutes a day to play with your children and cultivate a parent-child relationship.
10. When children ask questions, parents should answer them attentively.
What parents really want to teach their children is ability
Society is constantly changing, knowledge is constantly updated, it may not take more than ten years for parents to teach children how much knowledge, but no matter how the world changes, self-confidence, self-discipline, independence, creativity and other abilities are the most basic abilities, with these abilities children can learn on their own.
What can really make children stand out is not how much knowledge is learned in advance during primary school, but whether parents have the ability to cultivate their children's foundation as soon as possible.
Because the plasticity of the child who has just entered primary school is still very high, but after junior high school, the child has more and more opinions, and even enters adolescence and begins to rebel, and it is too late for parents to want to teach him anything!
At the primary school stage, parents should cultivate their children's interest in learning, so that children can understand what is the use of learning, what fun, how to learn more easily, what kind of learning methods are more reasonable...
The primary school stage is a period to help children lay the foundation for their entire learning career, affecting the rest of the child's life for decades, and those children who have achieved good results in the middle and high school entrance examinations have developed good learning habits in the primary school period without exception.
If you still don't know how to cultivate your children's learning habits and understand the development rules and learning characteristics of children in different grades, you can take a look at this set of books "Accompanying Children through Six Years of Primary School".
It is written by Yu Min, an outstanding teacher with more than 20 years of experience in front-line education, and specifically targets the behavior habits and learning characteristics of children in each year of primary school for six years. In the book, combined with years of experience, she analyzed the various types of children she met in detail, gave a very specific and meticulous parenting focus, and summarized this practical reference book, which is a very popular parenting book at present, and is known as the "Parent's Guide".
In the book, the authors introduce:
The first grade grasps the critical period of early childhood articulation and cultivates children's good learning habits;
The second grade is a critical period for cultivating children's interest in learning, so that children are full of interest in learning;
The third grade helps children to grasp knowledge flexibly and improve learning efficiency;
The fourth grade helps children calmly cope with the escalation of difficulty and master the learning method of doing more with less;
The fifth grade takes into account the child's growth and learning, so that the child calmly faces the changes around him;
The sixth grade relieves the pressure of children's further education, rescues children from the endless sea of problems, and successfully greets puberty.
This book captures the 10 key directions in the child's growth, from the first day of school to the last day of the holiday, there are plans, with parents who can't find the direction from beginning to end, step by step, solidly improve each of the child's abilities, and finally achieve the result of "independent and efficient learning".
Don't say that you will not be a parent, that is you have not mastered the essence, now the essence is coming, let us take action together, learn how to create the glory of the next few decades with your child's precious 6 years.