The relationship between husband and wife is not harmonious, and the highest level of ascension is domestic violence.
If the problem is not well solved, in the end, the marriage will break up and the family will cease to exist.
In general, domestic violence perpetrators are mostly male, and a very small number of families have female abusers. However, because women are more weaker than men in terms of physical fitness and strength, women are mostly victimized in such incidents.
The relationship between husband and wife, especially escalating to a state of domestic violence, and becoming the norm, then the fate between husband and wife has come to an end.
So, what are the general common characteristics of male abusers? Moreover, some friends reflected that after seven or eight years of marriage, they are very good, how did they change into a person, how did they start domestic violence?
With these two questions, we're going to explore them and hope they inspire you.
Male abuser commonality: mostly machismo
Matters at home are rarely discussed with the wife, and the direct decision will not even be known to the wife, until there is a result or the wife indirectly hears about it. This is typical machismo, and the essence of machismo is a strong desire for control and leadership in the heart.
Cause 1: The family of origin is very likely to have a male-dominated model
For example, the father, the father's father, etc. are macho situations, and the replication of the family model leads to the formation of this pattern at a very young age, and gradually appears after starting a family.
Cause 2: The family of origin is very likely to have a female-dominated model
The other is just the opposite. Because the family is dominated by women, such as mothers, grandmothers, etc., seeing that fathers, grandfathers, etc. cannot live "like a man", they set up an image for themselves, "Must not live like this!" So become a "macho man"!
These are the two main reasons for the emergence of patriarchy in the family.
Male Abuser Commonality: Traditional Male Superiority and Female Inferiority
I strongly believe in my heart that men should focus on their careers, and women should be good wives and mothers at home. Women should not care about men's affairs, no matter, do not ask, do not inquire. The reason for this kind of thinking is directly related to the education and influence of the original family.
Therefore, the traditional things, the good we have to inherit, the bad we are determined to give up.
Male abuser commonality: influenced by the work environment
Some friends are leaders in the company and in the unit, they are used to speaking in the unit, they have not been able to adjust in time when they return home, and over time they regard the home as a place to exercise leadership and control.
This is why some friends have reflected, why they were good before, and this paragraph is like a changed person.
As a party, he is not necessarily aware of this, but as a wife he is aware of it and should be guided and advised to introspect and examine himself.
The commonality of male abusers: they lack self-confidence and inferiority, and they do not admit it, which becomes worse
In front of classmates, colleagues, comrades-in-arms, relatives, and friends, they always feel that they cannot lift their heads, and they are cowardly, inferior and lack self-confidence in the process of interacting with others.
Someone said, "When you have money, you have confidence!" "This sounds fine, but it is actually a big problem.
It is because there are many friends who have reversed this causal relationship! Otherwise, think about it!
Male abusers commonalities: impulsive, irritable, self-harming, frivolous, emotional
Under normal circumstances, when men encounter things, when communication with their wives is ineffective, they will impulsively smash things, be irritable and curse, self-harm and punish themselves, the purpose of which is to attract the attention of their wives, comfort, and even obedience, if they do not achieve the purpose, they will carry out domestic violence.
If the wife does not understand, or does not understand, or does not understand, or the words and deeds of the opposite aggravate the contradiction, it will eventually lead to normal domestic violence.
It is true that domestic violence between husband and wife, especially if the perpetrator is a man, is undoubtedly harmful to women.
But be sure to treat it rationally. When a man is at the peak of his emotions, the wife is better off choosing to be quiet or avoidant and let the other person calm down. It is also good to communicate with the other party after the other party's mood is stable.
If the other party still does not forgive, or even continues to commit domestic violence, there is no sign of lessening, and a habit has been formed, then you should consider: whether this marriage should end!
After all, you have done your best for this family.