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Regarding love, the writer Bacon once said this:
Love, which is enshrined with substance, is quickly gone when you stop giving.
The enlightenment of this sentence is that in a stable love relationship, the feelings between lovers should be sincere and without any purpose, and once love involves considerations of interest, it will become no longer pure.
The stability of the marital relationship is inseparable from the love base between husband and wife, when a couple has a contradiction in the married life, if they love each other, they can tolerate each other to the greatest extent, and there is no emotional basis for the couple, but the feelings between them are destined to be fragile, and can not withstand the wind and rain.
But in real life, some people do not understand this truth, they will be because of each other's promises, and let themselves fall in love, but when the two really live together, if the other party's promise can not be realized, this love will disappear in an instant.
Only by treating marriage with a cautious attitude, on the basis of having love with each other, and then joining hands with them to enter the palace of marriage, can we ensure that this marriage relationship can be long-term and stable.
The 39-year-old wife said that her husband had a cunning intention and had to keep an account for every penny spent, and the 62-year-old husband: I am afraid that you will run
The 39-year-old Xiao Zhao (pseudonym) has been married to Qiandao Lake for several years from Sichuan, and recently she has had the idea of separating herself from her husband Lao Zheng (pseudonym) because of her disagreement, but what pains her is that Lao Zheng has removed the tires from her car and does not allow her to leave.
Xiao Zhao said that her husband, Lao Zheng, is now 62 years old, and a few years ago, she and her husband met through the Internet, and although the two were thousands of miles apart and had age differences, they talked about speculation.
At that time, Lao Zheng said to Xiao Zhao, if you come to Hangzhou, I can arrange a position for you as a regular employee of the enterprise, which touched Xiao Zhao's heart, and Xiao Zhao even quit his job in Sichuan, with his 5-year-old daughter, he traveled a long way to Hangzhou to join Lao Zheng.
But two or three years have passed, although Xiao Zhao has a job, but so far has not turned positive, Xiao Zhao said that the reason why she disregarded the 23-year-old age difference between her and Lao Zheng, and came together with it, the picture is that Old Zheng can find a job for herself, which is also the reason why she wants to leave Lao Zheng at the moment.
So, why would Lao Zheng stop his wife from driving away?
After Xiao Zhao found Lao Zheng, even if Old Zheng Dang expressed his concerns, he bluntly said that his wife's car still had 200,000 loans to repay, and he was the guarantor of this loan, in case his wife ran away and did not repay the loan on time, his house might be taken away.
Lao Zheng said that 3 years ago, his wife quit his job from Qiandao Lake to go to Hangzhou, and now even his young daughter has been taken away, he is not letting his wife go, but he wants his wife to first solve the debt dispute between the two, he is worried that his wife has run away, let himself bear the debt alone.
In this regard, his wife Xiao Zhao said that the reason why she left Qiandao Lake to work in Hangzhou was because Lao Zheng refused to give her money, and she could only go out to work to earn money to support herself and her daughter.
Listening to his wife's words, Lao Zheng took out an account book, he said, before his wife wanted to do business, he took 200,000 yuan from him, and the wife bought the air ticket money, and the wife's brother bought a house of 20,000 yuan, and the money to buy nutritional products for the wife's family.
Seeing that Old Zheng took out the ledger, his wife Xiao Zhao said dismissively, every penny he transferred to me will be remembered, you say that this kind of person with a heart, do I dare to be with him?
"I just used him to help me with my daughter," the 39-year-old wife said from the bottom of her heart, and the 62-year-old husband broke down
Xiao Zhao said that she really lived with Old Zheng.
Xiao Zhao said that before she married Lao Zheng, her father had told her that if the restructured family wanted to be happy and stable, the husband and wife would have a common child, but she repeatedly proposed to have a child with Lao Zheng, but several years passed, and Lao Zheng never let her wish.
In this regard, Lao Zheng asked rhetorically, when did you say that you wanted a child?
For Xiao Zhao's statement that he really wants to live with himself, Lao Zheng sneered, he said bluntly that in the years that the two have been together, his wife has never bought a bowl for the family and has not spent a penny for the family.
At the beginning of the acquaintance between Old Zheng and Xiao Zhao, Xiao Zhao repeatedly proposed to get a marriage license with Old Zheng, but because Old Zheng was worried that Xiao Zhao had other plans, he was reluctant to get a license with him, until Xiao Zhao's daughter wanted to settle down to go to school, and Old Zheng and Xiao Zhao received a marriage license.
Later, Xiao Zhao went to Hangzhou alone to work, and before going, he not only took out a loan to buy a high-end car, but also left his daughter to be taken care of by Lao Zheng, which made Lao Zheng feel very painful.
One is that his wife herself has no money, and buying such an expensive car makes it difficult for him to afford it; the other is that he cannot always help his wife take care of his stepdaughter, and he is worried that in case the child is damaged, he cannot bear the responsibility.
It wasn't until his wife came back to him and offered to break up that he removed the tires from his car to prevent her from running
Lao Zheng is the guarantor when his wife buys the car, although the wife promises to repay the money herself, but if the wife cannot repay the loan on time, he will finally bear the debt, and he has no trust in his wife.
At this time, Xiao Zhao also said that she wanted to use Old Zheng to help her see her daughter before, she was not willing to continue to live with Old Zheng, and she was willing to change the guarantor in exchange for Old Zheng being able to let herself go free.
For Xiao Zhao's proposal, Lao Zheng also expressed his acceptance, saying that there are still some debt disputes between him and Xiao Zhao, and if Xiao Zhao is not willing to repay the money, he will solve it through other means.
At this point, the marriage story of Lao Zheng and Xiao Zhao was temporarily declared over.
Regarding marriage, the ancient Greek philosopher Socrates once said this:
The union of husband and wife, originally out of love, but to take the economy as a condition, they lose the original intention of love.
This sentence tells us that a happy marriage relationship is based on love, and couples who are united only because of interests, the marriage relationship between the two of them is hidden.
In the marriage story between Xiao Zhao and Lao Zheng, the reason why Xiao Zhao chose to combine with Lao Zheng, who was 23 years older than her, was that Lao Zheng had promised to help her find a formal job, but marriage was a lifelong event for a person, just because of the other party's promise, he rashly entrusted himself to the other party, which was an irresponsible performance of marriage.
From the marriage story of Xiao Zhao and Lao Zheng, we can at least get the following three enlightenments:
First, treat marriage with caution.
Marriage is a major event in a person's life, it determines that a person can achieve happiness in life, only by carefully choosing marriage, will make their life path smooth.
Xiao Zhao and Lao Zheng are in different places, and there is still a 23-year-old age difference between them, if you rationally look at the relationship between the two, after the two of them live together, they will definitely have contradictions because of different living habits.
But Xiao Zhao entrusted himself to the other party only because Old Zheng promised to find a job for himself, which was a manifestation of the lack of caution in marriage.
Second, marriage is a matter of two people.
Marriage is a matter for two people, and a happy married life requires both husband and wife to operate and create together.
In the marriage relationship between Xiao Zhao and Lao Zheng, Xiao Zhao may be a person who only wants to take but is unwilling to pay, and Lao Zheng may not trust Xiao Zhao enough, and because of this, the marriage between the two will eventually come to the brink of collapse.
If Xiao Zhao and Lao Zheng know how to think in a different position, have more tolerance and understanding of each other, I believe that their sense of belonging in marriage will be higher, and it is easier to obtain happiness in married life.
Third, a good marriage does not only need material security, it also requires husband and wife to love each other.
British female writer Jane Austen said that marriage without considering material things is stupid, and marriage that only considers material things is absurd.
This sentence tells us that in a good marriage relationship, the material factors between husband and wife are equally important as the emotional basis.
The reason why Xiao Zhao and Lao Zheng's marriage failed may be because the two care too much about material considerations and neglect the cultivation of feelings.
If Lao Zheng and Xiao Zhao can have more emotional communication in their married life, perhaps the marriage relationship between the two of them will be happier.
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