As a "difficult problem through the ages", the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a mess in many families.
Especially in modern society, many small couples have to ask their mother-in-law to help bring their babies, living under one roof, and it is very easy for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to have conflicts.
For example, the day before yesterday, I saw a bao mom post that her mother-in-law had been helping to bring her baby at home for 3 years, and her relatives and friends all praised her for being blessed, and she had such a "good mother-in-law" who worked hard and complained, and the child did not have to bring it herself.
The mother also admitted that in the past 3 years, the mother-in-law has kept the home in good order, never shouted tired with the children, prepared every meal on time, and occasionally the mother-in-law helped to clean a bowl, and the mother-in-law would say that she was coming.
In the economy, the mother-in-law has never been stingy, when the mother is confined, the red mushrooms are bought by a pound of seven or eight hundred, knowing that the daughter-in-law likes to eat durian, the mother-in-law buys home at both ends of three days, it can be said that in many ways, this mother-in-law is called a "model".
However, even so, this mother still couldn't help complaining: she really didn't want to live with her mother-in-law.
Because although the mother-in-law is really good, in life, it is still inevitable that there will be many differences with the mother, and there will be some small frictions from time to time.
For example, outside the old house is the highway, every day the motor vehicle whistles by, Bao Mom repeatedly stressed to the mother-in-law, do not walk the baby in such an environment, it is very dangerous, but the mother-in-law said that everyone will look at the road, it is impossible to have a problem, it is bao mom who worries too much.
Mother-in-law will often put some "square dance divine comedy" at home, from time to time to adjust the volume to the maximum self-indulgence, occasionally put to the child to listen, Bao Mom feels very noisy about this, specifically mentioned several times of advice, but the mother-in-law still goes her own way.
Although from the general direction, the mother-in-law is indeed a recognized "angel mother-in-law", but it is precisely because of these trivial things in life that this mother-in-law is more and more resistant to the mother-in-law, and even has self-doubt.
The loss of a sense of boundaries is the root cause of the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law
I believe that in real life, many mothers have similar troubles, the elderly work hard to help with the baby, it is reasonable to say that as a child should uphold a grateful heart, even if there are some small frictions, you should also understand and respect, "step back from the sea and the sky" is right.
However, the reason why many mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships are irreconcilable is precisely that these contradictions "accumulate into many", and over time, they become the fuse for the breakdown of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
As the most special kind of family relationship, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have no blood relationship, but have to live together, neither have an "emotional basis" nor the same living habits, if the two lose the sense of boundary, there will almost inevitably be a variety of contradictions.
In particular, some mothers-in-law rightly think that they and their sons are "a family", and their daughter-in-law is an outsider, often pointing fingers at small families and interfering in each other's lives, although helping their children to take care of their children and household chores, in the eyes of outsiders, they are conscientious and hardworking, but in fact, they are "like people drinking cold and warm self-knowledge", the life of the children's family may not be as happy as in the eyes of others.
Once the difference between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is too large, or there is a conflict in personality, it is easy to further stimulate the contradiction, resulting in the breakdown of the relationship between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law, and even the occurrence of marital problems.
Keeping a distance can reduce the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law
For the problem of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship, maintaining a certain distance is the best solution, the so-called "far away fragrance and near smell", maintaining a certain distance from the mother-in-law, can bring fundamental changes to the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
If both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can maintain clear boundaries, do not wantonly interfere with each other's lives, and leave a certain family system boundary for each other, the problem of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will naturally be reduced a lot, the mother-in-law cares about the daughter-in-law, and the daughter-in-law can also respect and understand the mother-in-law.
Of course, in many modern families, inviting the mother-in-law home to help bring the baby is a helpless move, and it is necessary to live under the same roof, and in such a situation, the presence of the son is crucial.
If the son, as the head of the family, can handle the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, define the scope of rights for the mother- and-daughter-in-law, when there is a contradiction between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, he can mediate in the middle, think about the problem from the perspective of both sides, and do a good job of heart-to-heart, which can also solve the contradiction between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law, so that the family relationship is more harmonious.
Therefore, in order to better solve the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law must have a sense of boundary, maintain a certain distance, do not interfere in each other's lives, and the son must also play his own role in it.
Crooked Mom Conclusion:
As the saying goes, "a twisted melon is not sweet", the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is actually the same, if there are too many differences between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, forced integration and adaptation will only make each other torture each other.
A good mother-in-law relationship requires a certain sense of distance between the two, if the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law really can't get along well, appropriately increase the distance and reduce the contact is the best solution.
Today's topic: Do you have a similar mother-in-law around you?