What is affection? Some people say that affection is intangible and it is not clear what he looks like; some people say that affection is priceless, and there is nothing in the world whose price is comparable to her; others say that affection is selfless, and there is nothing in the world that can sacrifice herself more than her; some people say that affection is endless, and your life is always aware of his existence.
However, although family affection is precious, the most hurtful thing is the snub and deception between relatives, and how many people in the world are hurt by family affection. Especially for those children who are sent away by their parents, they have a deep understanding of the feeling of abandonment.
First, the mother died, the sister who was less than 100 days old was sent away, and the 55-year-old woman wanted to find her sister
Fang Xiaoxia is 55 years old this year, settled in Harbin with her daughter and son-in-law, the family opened two restaurants, with an annual income of more than one million, all said that Fang Xiaoxia, who remembers bitterness and sweetness, lives a rich life, often recalls the hard days of the past.
Fang Xiaoxia said that her hometown is in Wuchang Longfengshan, the whole family relies on farming for a living, when the mother suffered from a serious heart attack, a hundred days after giving birth to the youngest daughter Xiaohong, suddenly died of a heart attack, leaving behind her five-year-old daughter Xiaoxia, only three-year-old son Xiaodong, and Xiaohong, who was still breastfeeding.
She clearly remembers the scene on the day of her mother's death when she was a child, in the thatched hut of the family, a board on the floor carried her mother out of the house, and the large cotton shoes worn by her father were gone. After the mother was buried, due to the compulsion of life, my father entrusted a friend and gave the youngest sister to a family in Harbin. All she remembered was that her sister's mother worked at the post office, her father was a fashion designer, and now she only wanted to see her little sister, even if she looked at her in her lifetime.
In the 1980s, Fang Xiaoxia married to Harbin, in the face of the neon flashing of the metropolis, the traffic is busy, she always thinks of her hometown, but also thinks of her sister living in the same city, she vaguely remembers her sister Xiaohong wrapped in a small quilt always sipping her small mouth, and especially likes to laugh. Although time passed and the years changed, the strong flesh and blood affection in her heart was not diluted, and after inquiring about it, Fang Xiaoxia found the middleman who sent her sister away that year, and he revealed her sister Xiaohong's residence in Harbin.
Fang Xiaoxia said that when her father was still alive in the past eight years, she once looked for her sister, when her father and Xiaohong's sister's adoptive father also met, and her sister's adoptive father told them, don't look for it, she is too young, afraid of affecting their family, and when I am older, I will let you meet.
When the sisters met more than 30 years ago, Xiaohong was not yet 20 years old, and the class that had just adopted her mother began to work, when the two sisters said a few words of greeting and hurriedly said goodbye, and have not seen each other since. As she grew older and the years precipitated, Xiaoxia missed her own sister more and more.
Second, separated from his sister for 50 years, the sister said: I want to meet my sister too much
In order to find her sister, she had called the local search hotline and received several calls from enthusiastic listeners, who said that she and Xiaohong's family lived as neighbors, which made her happy.
Fang Xiaoxia vaguely felt that her sister was no longer in contact with her, probably because of her adoptive parents, for this reason, Fang Xiaoxia specially wrote a letter to Xiaohong's adoptive mother.
In the letter, she introduced her father named Fang Zhi, her mother died on the way to see a doctor, before she died, she was still holding her sister for less than half a day, because of the difficulties of life, the family did not even have electric lights, lived in a thatched house, her father was only in her twenties, the three children did not have a mother, and the father gave the youngest sister to their family in desperation. In the letter, she earnestly asked her sister's adoptive mother to understand the current situation of their family, hoping that the other party would let her meet with her sister.
With a sincere handwritten letter and a feeling of uneasiness, Fang Xiaoxia, accompanied by reporters, came to the community where her sister's adoptive parents were located. Xiaohong's adoptive parents are on the 21st floor, there is no access to the key card can not get on the elevator, the neighbor told Fang Xiaoxia can go to find the property, the property staff heard that she is looking for relatives, but also enthusiastic to help, but must be agreed by the other party to go up. After contacting Xiaohong's husband on the phone, the other party said that Xiaohong did not want to see this Fang Xiaoxia.
After wandering downstairs for more than 20 minutes, Fang Xiaoxia did not want to leave like this, and when they found the property again, they went upstairs and finally knocked on the door of their sister's house.
After much effort, Fang Xiaoxia finally saw Xiaohong, but the sister in front of her was so strange, her attitude was not only not intimate, but even some indifference. At the doorstep, Xiaohong said bluntly that she is 50 years old this year, and this so-called sister has not been in contact for more than 30 years, she is not sure who she is, because she has not met for more than 30 years, when she was fourteen or fifteen years old, Fang Xiaoxia had come to find her, and now she said to reporters bluntly: "I don't want to recognize her, I haven't been in contact with her for more than 30 years", which made Fang Xiaoxia unexpected, so why did Xiaohong not want to recognize her sister?
Third, the sister refused to recognize her relatives, and her attitude was strong: You don't go to me to find affection
Xiaohong's emotions are a little excited, in the face of the relatives looking for the door, she said angrily, "After I was born, I have nothing to do with her", which made Fang Xiaoxia speechless, the reporter hurriedly asked her why she was angry with her sister, Xiaohong said, don't say anything before, you passed yours, I passed mine, and after that we are two parallel lines that will never cross.
It can be heard that Xiaohong is resistant to recognizing her, and the reporter asked her if there is any contradiction in the middle? Xiaohong said that there was no contradiction between the two sides, and she did not need mediation, and she could not understand that the other party Xiaoxia's spirit was so big.
Xiaoxia explained that I am more than 50 years old this year, and I have no relatives, just halfway through, I was unceremoniously interrupted by Xiaohong: "You are willing to have any relatives without any relatives, it has nothing to do with me, you don't come to me to find affection, you know?" I don't receive you this affection."
Ma Xiaohong's tone is cold, her attitude is resolute, every sentence is rejection and resistance, for Fang Xiaoxia's recognition of relatives, she can not accept, can hear the anger in her heart. Fang Xiaoxia was unwilling to give up this meeting, and when she wanted to get along as a friend, she was also ruthlessly cut off by Xiaohong, "No, we haven't been in contact for more than 30 years, what kind of family affection?" ”
The reporter saw this situation, hurriedly hit the round field from it, she told Xiaohong that she also had a brother, but Xiaohong said, "I have never met, never spoken to each other, never had any communication, your mother is dead, talking, I escaped, I can only say so." XiaoHong's voice choked up.
People have feelings, and it is often said that "without the suffering of others, do not persuade others to be good." Listening to Ma Xiaohong's seemingly desperate words, she can capture the pain and resentment in her heart, her mother died, she gave her away, she thought that her father did not want her, nominally to find a good family for her, but who knows if she is willing?
Fang Xiaoxia explained that her mother died of illness before sending her away. Xiaohong refused to communicate, saying that she did all kinds of things to her and did not want to deal with her.
The reporter was puzzled and asked Fang Xiaoxia what she had done to make her sister have such a big resentment towards her. Xiaohong said that Fang Xiaoxia had gone too far before, and now she did not want this so-called sister to continue to do so, nor did she want to have contact with her again.
Xiaohong's tough attitude and full of resentment made the people present sigh, it seems that Xiaohong has never been able to let go of her own sending, and only uses a cold back to respond to the reunion of long-lost relatives.
Seeing her sister like this, Fang Xiaoxia cried, she suddenly knelt down to her sister, hoping that her sister would give her face again, but Xiaohong angrily rebuked her while hiding, "You don't have to go out of that whole, I tell you, don't have to make that out."
The reporter and the people around her advised her to calm down, after all, her sister knelt down for her, and she said to Fang Xiaoxia, I have no affection with you, no love, you go!
Fang Xiaoxia cried and told her sister that if she hadn't been sent back then, I'm afraid she wouldn't be where she is today. These words only exchanged Xiaohong's reply: "I have to thank you."
Fang Xiaoxia cried uncontrollably: "It wasn't me who sent you, it was sent by my father." This further aroused Xiao Hong's anger: "Then you please, let's go!" good no good! I don't beg you either" After saying that, he turned and entered the house, "banging" and shut his sister out the door.
The sister who has been dreaming for 30 years, now close at hand but far away in the end of the world, Fang Xiaoxia the more she thinks about it, the more sad she is, this ending is what she did not expect, she said that she did come to find her sister before, she went to the unit to find her once, and her sister's attitude is also very good, but now it ends in this way. She held the handwritten letter she had not sent out, and the tears flowed again.
She was unable to recognize her sister, but Xiaoxia said that she would spend the rest of her life praying for her sister's blessings, and hoped that Xiaohong would eventually eliminate her resentment towards her sister and her biological parents and regain her family ties.
Sentiment Analysis:
Seeing such an ending makes people both sad and emotional, although the sister refuses to recognize each other, but this is not necessarily a good result. On the other hand, Xiaohong's approach is not wrong, recognizing or not recognizing relatives is their own business, everyone will follow their own hearts, we do not need to morally kidnap a 50-year-old person.
1, recognize relatives do not force, to learn to let go
As the eldest in the family, Fang Xiaoxia has the responsibility to recognize her sister, although it did not succeed, but this is not contrary to her original intention, after all, she found her sister and knows her current living state. As a sister, she did not feel sorry for her parents, nor did she feel sorry for her sister, after all, when her mother died and sent her sister away, she was only a five-year-old child. Xiaohong's indifference and resentment should not be directed at her sister, so the lack of communication between the two sides still leads to incomprehension and inconsiderateness.
Everyone hopes that the family affection is eternal, the family is perfect, Fang Xiaoxia has done the ultimate, since the sister does not want to recognize each other, do not have any regrets, as long as you know that the sister is living well, it is a comfort, learn to respect the choice of the sister, learn to let go, let everything go naturally, do not disturb each other may be the best choice.
2. Where does my sister's resentment come from?
What is affection? She is the beginning of her longing, but there is no end, a nostalgia for home, a longing for reunion.
You know, affection, affection, affection, love, why love words are at the end, because going to the end is the real love! As Xiaohong said, after she was born, she had nothing to do with her former family, which was not desperate but a cry and unwillingness from the heart.
For Xiaohong, home is strange and novel to her, when she was fourteen or fifteen years old, she met with her sister and father, I believe that blood and affection are sharp in heart, and then my sister went to the unit to find her, let her know the truth, no matter how her parents treated her, there was no child cared for by her own parents, their hearts are fragile and fickle, we can imagine Xiaohong's mood of looking forward to going home at that time.
There is a saying, where are you when I am sad? A word of apology can replace the blank?
It was her sister who broke her dreams and desire for family affection, she must have looked forward to and thought about it, so that she went from hope to fantasy, from longing to disappointment, from disappointment to anger, and finally into a grudge. In her heart, she is a child abandoned by her parents, think of her to see her, do not need to abandon it, this kind of suffering from loss and loss of psychology makes her insecure, day after day of disappointment, let her only hate and no love for her relatives. So the words spoken, more like a knife to poke the heart of the sister, more than 30 years have passed, for a 50-year-old person, whether there is family affection or not, how much does it matter?
3. If you are well, it is a sunny day
As a sister, Fang Xiaoxia can only watch her sister Xiaohong getting farther and farther away from her, and the relationship between people is always elusive, and sometimes the door of the heart of her relatives has been closed, even if she is a flesh and blood relative, she cannot be forced. Some family ties can be broken and can be continued, but some family ties are broken, missed is missed, and each of them may be a better ending. I hope that Fang Xiaoxia and Xiaohong's hearts will have no regrets from now on!