Author/Pond Fish
I saw such a question on the Internet: Why do some women, before marriage, can not care about their husbands have no money, but after marriage, they have become particularly concerned about money?
Although I have not yet established a family, many of my female good friends have entered the palace of marriage, and as a good friend, I have clearly seen some of the joys and sorrows in their married life, and some of the truth they have confided in me has also given me a more comprehensive view of marriage.
Why does the word money become more important after two people get married? Is it a girl who originally did not love money, and suddenly she especially worships gold and loves money? No, it's because when you really enter the married life, you need money for everything.
The reason why they repeatedly mention money is because the problems caused by money are the most difficult challenges faced by two people in their lives, and they are also the places that bother them.
In the past, I always thought that the most important thing is that two people have love, as for money can be earned together, as long as you are willing to work hard, everything will happen.
However, a married friend of mine who originally chose love told me that love is unpredictable, and there is no absolute pure love in this world. The love she thought at that time was nothing more than a compromise policy adopted by her husband because of her own insufficient conditions, and his goodness made her think that this was love, but she did not know that it was not. Because true love, the premise is that two people have to be themselves, under the premise of mutual respect for each other, this relationship into the marriage, more stable, otherwise, how good before marriage, after marriage will be how big the gap will be.
The most common is that many girls will think that their husbands have no money after marriage, and there is no love, so naturally they cannot accept such a change.
I interviewed 10 couples in my life and found that people with harmonious marriages basically have one thing in common: none of them are too much troubled by material things.
Yes, this is a bit of a groundbreaking, but it is an established fact.
Probably talk about the more representative of them, two couples who belong to love.
The first couple, the comprehensive conditions of the two of them, in fact, are very good in the eyes of outsiders, they all have decent jobs, have cars and houses, start with love, and talk about love for more than three years into the palace of marriage.
But in fact, the girl told me that her husband's original conditions were not good, her in-laws could not help, and part of the down payment of the house when they got married, as well as the later car, and even the money for decoration, were borrowed, and these money they had been saving money after marriage.
The current relationship between the two people is still very good, very loving state, her husband before marriage after marriage is basically the same, after all, after talking about love for so many years to enter the marriage, she is finally willing to marry him, is to think that the husband is of good character, the work is not bad, the two people still have feelings, poor family conditions are not his fault, so the final cultivation of positive results. But after getting married, when a family was really formed, the family's expenses increased a lot more than that of a person before marriage, and she needed money everywhere, and she became particularly provincial. She gave an example, last year's New Year's Eve, just the movement of human feelings, to the parents on both sides of the New Year, these spent nearly 20,000 yuan, and when a person is completely absent of these expenses.
At present, both people are 30 years old, want to have children, but the family owes some money is still not paid off, they have been married for three years, has been thrifty, she has not been willing to buy a new dress, borrowed money has been repaid mostly, think of the future or feel hopeful, but the birth of the child, surely the family's economy will not be rich to where to go.
Some of their usual quarrels are basically because of money, she sometimes feels wronged, fortunately, her husband has always loved her and respected her, and is also very good to her, which makes her unfairness a lot less.
The second couple, campus love came over, once let many people envy the feelings between them, now the overall marriage is still good, but the contradictions in life, but also basically caused by the economy.
The main thing is that after having children, no one helps to take the children, girls can only resign at home, and all the economic pressure goes to the boys alone. Two people's mortgage and car loan have basically removed two-thirds of their wages, and the pressure is really great.
Her husband sometimes has a bad temper because of this, and she is also more aggrieved, thinking that the quality of life after marriage has declined a lot, but she has not complained about anything, her husband is not considerate of himself, often saying that he is under pressure to earn money alone, when she asks her to go out to earn money, what to do with the children, her husband does not speak. Whenever I say this, it is an unsolvable problem.
She can only hope that when her children go to kindergarten and they can go out to earn money, they will definitely have a much better life.
There are other couples, when they talk about their troubles, they can always find in the end, basically caused by lack of money, sometimes even if it is dozens of dollars, it may cause a lot of contradictions and quarrels between two people, here is not smooth, there is not smooth, once the beginning of the lack of money, feel that all kinds of unsatisfactory began to find the door, spending money in the place also become more, forming a dead cycle.
Happy couples are roughly alike.
Two people can have a business amount, usual days and beauty, life is more ritualistic, weekends can often go out to travel, there are 3 girls after marriage told me, their married life and before marriage basically no change, you can still buy casually, eat casually, and the relationship with your husband is still very good, very happy and sweet. I asked two more questions about the conditions of the family, and sure enough, none of them were too much materially troubled.
Although the husbands they marry are not very rich, but at least the house basically has no loans, this alone, it is enough for the two small families to earn their own money to spend, the standard of living has been greatly improved, usually will not quarrel because of money, some do not have car loans.
After not having too much material trouble, the two people still have enough time and energy to communicate spiritually after marriage and continue to fall in love beautifully.
Suddenly remembering Lao She's "Camel Xiangzi", there was once written such a sentence: The real love species will only be born in a rich family. That is to say, some love poor people can not talk about, beautiful things everyone likes, but need a certain amount of capital. When you even eat is a problem, those love, fairy tales, just imaginable and out of reach, the so-called love species, but just born in a rich family, no money no matter how good things are just fantasies.
I didn't think much of this sentence before, but now that I look at it again, I have a different feeling.
Therefore, there are only a lot of girls now, after reaching a certain age, becoming more and more realistic. In fact, not only girls, but also boys, have learned to weigh the pros and cons, put feelings in a measurable angle, everyone hopes that the other party is pure in the face of themselves, but it is difficult to be sincere.
But in any case, marriage is a thing, sincerity and like are always the most important.
As a girl, at the same time, don't put too much expectation on marriage, eager to use other people's achievements to achieve personal goals. You must also work hard, what you want to fight for, what you have is the king, but also others can not take away, this is the real bottom of life.
-END-
Talk and intercede with everyone who comes here, but it has nothing to do with the wind and moon. Click above to follow and welcome to Minecraft.