01
Although we cannot choose our original family, we definitely have the right to decide on the small family after marriage.
So life as adults is actually in our own hands.
If your original family is a problem, then after you start a family, it is your chance to regain a new life.
The heroine in the next case encountered a difficult mother's family, and did not wake up until she suffered many losses.
Wen Xia is just thirty years old this year, and there are many girls at this age who are not yet married, but she has already been divorced once.
To talk about why she divorced at a young age, we must also talk about returning to Wen Xia's mother's family.
Wen Xia also has a younger brother in the family, three years younger than her. His parents are from the countryside, so they have a strong preference for sons and daughters in their bones.
The family has been accustomed to her younger brother since she was a child, resulting in the younger brother's lazy personality and reading is not a tool.
Wen Xia, who was not valued, was successfully admitted to college and had a good job after graduation.
Within two years of her work, the family spent all their savings to buy a house in the city for the sake of their brother.
After buying the house, Wen Xia's mother found her and said, "Xia, this house is said to have been bought for your brother, but you work in the city, and you also have a home." ”
Wen Xia was also very happy to see that the conditions at home had improved.
But the mother then said: "There is not much money in this family, so there is still a little loan for the house." Your brother doesn't have the ability of you, do you think you can afford this mortgage?"
After listening, Wen Xia inquired about the specific amount of the monthly mortgage, and when she learned that it was more than two thousand, she agreed without much hesitation.
At this point, the mortgage of the house in the city was repaid by Wen Xia, and she did not know that the house book was written with the name of her brother.
After a few years, Wen Xia is not young, and it is time to talk about marriage.
Under the introduction of colleagues in the unit, she met her first husband, Zhang Xianming.
Zhang Xianming is reliable, his work is decent and stable, and even the caravan is prepared early.
After Wen Xia got along for more than half a year, she and Zhang Xianming played a marriage certificate and entered the marriage.
Although she was married, she still cared about the matter of her mother's brother.
To help her mother's house pay off the mortgage, she also deliberately concealed her husband and did not dare to let him know.
But where is the impermeable wall, somehow, the husband still knows about it.
He went to confirm with Wen Xia at the first time, and her silent attitude also let Zhang Xianming know the truth.
Zhang Xianming immediately persuaded his wife not to pay the mortgage for his brother anymore, but to think more about their small family.
But who knew that Wen Xia felt that helping her mother's family was something that should be divided, and she still repaid her regularly every month.
After a long time, her husband Zhang Xianming became more and more dissatisfied. Coupled with the fact that Wen Xia's younger brother was very unsuccessful, he finally filed for divorce under the persuasion of his family.
Because the house was bought by the man alone before marriage, she returned to her mother's house after the divorce.
This time back, although her mother still cared about her, Wen Xia always had a taste that could not be said.
Sure enough, it didn't take long for her mother to introduce her to her.
Wen Xia actually said to her mother repeatedly that she had just divorced and wanted to be quiet and find someone to trust.
But my mother always said that thirty years old is not small, and we must grasp it tightly.
So under the nagging of her mother all day, Wen Xia began a second marriage.
The husband was introduced by a neighbor and was divorced without children.
This husband has a good temper, although the work is average, but he also takes care of the family and can cook.
Wen Xia, who lost a marriage, wants to grasp the happiness of this time.
She paid off the family's mortgage at one time, and although she had little savings left, she didn't have to worry about hiding anything from her husband.
But who knows where the mother and brother are here, where they are willing to let her go easily.
Because a few years have passed, my brother has also reached the age of marrying a daughter-in-law.
After being introduced by the matchmaker, he got along with a girl in the town and saw that he was about to get married.
So the mother found Wen Xia again and said, "Wen Xia, your brother is about to get married, but the woman offered a dowry of 150,000 yuan, and I and your father squeezed the bones and could only take out 80,000 yuan." ”
Looking at her mother's sad face, her sideburns seemed to have a few more strands of white hair.
Wen Xia was very unbearable, so she went home without consulting her husband and took 70,000 yuan to give her mother a bride price.
The mother looked at her daughter and brought so much money, touched and did not know what to say, and her eyes were dripping with tears.
But Wen Xia's heart was a little bitter, her mother's pass was over, but her husband was sad.
Sure enough, it wasn't long before the husband found that the deposit was missing a sum of money.
You must know that his work is very hard, it is all his own hard-earned money.
After learning that the seventy thousand was taken by Wen Xia to make a bride price for his mother's brother, he was angry and did not speak to his wife for more than a month.
After this incident, the feelings of the two people had a lot of resentment, no matter how Wen Xia took the initiative to seek peace, the feelings were not like before.
After more than a year of cold war, the two still parted ways.
This divorce brought a lot of blows to Wen Xia, and her mother's family could not go back. Because my sister-in-law moved in and was pregnant.
At this time, she realized that as soon as her brother got married, her mother's family had no place for her.
Watching her brother get married and have a baby, she went around and got married twice.
She was determined not to be confused anymore, and told herself that she would live a selfish life in the future.
So she worked hard to save money, and did not give a single cent to her mother's family.
Not only did I enroll in adult dance classes, but I also carefully studied dressing.
Wen Xia, who had never given birth, was still full of charm, so in less than two years, she was married again.
This time, the husband's conditions are the best, he is an individual boss, and his annual income is less than two or three hundred thousand.
Although the man has a daughter, he has been sentenced to his ex-wife, so he very much wants to have a son with Wen Xia.
This is the third time Wen Xia has been married, and she really likes her current husband.
So he quit his job and actively prepared for pregnancy at home, ready for a happy life.
But after her mother knew that Wen Xia had found a rich man for her third marriage, she didn't have much face on her face.
From time to time, he called Wen Xia to ask for warmth, and tried to enhance the relationship between mother and daughter.
Sure enough, the mother found another opportunity to ask Wen Xia for money, and she said on the phone: "Wen Xia, your brother's unit has gone out of business, and now your sister-in-law is going to have another child. ”
This time Wen Xia said something that was not painful or itchy, and did not take the mother's cavity.
Seeing that Wen Xia did not give money, her mother was a little anxious, so she thought of finding a new son-in-law.
So he called again and said, "Girl, your brother misses you, bring your new son-in-law to dinner." ”
Wen Xia closed her eyes and knew that she wanted to borrow money in person, so she responded directly: "Don't dare to go, the third marriage doesn't want to leave again." ”
After saying that, he hung up the phone indifferently, and the mother's family on the other end did not speak.
They didn't know that at this time, Wen Xia had already seen through people's hearts, and she just wanted to live a good life with her husband and have children...
In the case, Wen Xia experienced three marriages before she could see through her mother's family, who did not know how to advance or retreat.
This tells us that children should not only pay attention to proportions when supporting their parents, but also keep the following two truths in mind.
02
First: In the face of parental demands, children must have their own bottom line.
As the saying goes: pity the hearts of parents in the world, in order to express the parents' affection for their children.
But the world is big, how to ensure that all parents do not ask for return for their children.
On the contrary, some parents have a certain utilitarian interest in their children.
What you can't do, you fantasize that your child can do it.
When the child grows up, he kidnaps the moral set and makes the child respond to his own needs.
In this case, the mother used her daughter as a cash machine and kept asking for money to reduce the burden on the family.
As everyone knows, her daughter has been divorced twice under her tossing.
It is infuriating that parents who only use their children as tools of interest are infuriating.
Such unfortunate parents on the stall, as children can only wake up in time and keep a proper distance.
Therefore, once it is found that parents have the performance of demanding excessively, it is necessary to set the bottom line in time.
Make your attitude and position clear, even if it is a biological parent, you cannot ask too much for your children without reason.
03
Second: Reversing the primary and secondary of the original family and the small family is both dangerous and stupid.
Unmarried men and women should figure out the meaning of marriage before they get married.
Marriage is the beginning of complete independence, a sign of separation from the original family.
It is even more important to understand that the small family after marriage is the harbor on which you live.
If you can't wean your original family, then such immaturity will only put your marriage in jeopardy.
Therefore, putting the small family in the main position is the most basic law of survival.
If we put the cart before the horse and turn the primary and secondary of the original family and the small family upside down, there is no doubt that it is stupid and dangerous.
Because your original family will not pay for your life choices, it is only you who really have to divorce and suffer.
Know that your parents who truly love you won't embarrass you, and they won't put your marriage in jeopardy.
The family members who want you to make choices and embarrassments are actually loved by someone else.
Assuming that your loved ones don't care so much about you, why not wake up in time.
Don't wait until you have nothing to do, only to find that everything you have paid is a bamboo basket to hit the water.
04
Independence is an indispensable quality in marriage.
This refers not only to the economic aspect, but more to psychological independence.
Only by seeing through this can marriage have a truly resilient ability to withstand risks.
You know, a person who can't figure out the priorities of his family will sooner or later turn his own life into a joke.
Text/No Pen