Newly painted safety slogans on the walls of the unit. Cluck... Blame me for my hand, want to see if it is dry, so I pressed it with my finger. Make your fingers covered in paint. Just about to wash off, Old Zhao came.

Newly painted safety slogans on the walls of the unit. Cluck... Blame me for my hand, want to see if it is dry, so I pressed it with my finger. Make your fingers covered in paint. Just about to wash off, Old Zhao came. Pointing to the wall and asking: Did you do it? I nodded and said: Done! Old Zhao was suspicious, and in order to let him touch it, I pressed my whole hand on it and said, "Look, it's all dry!" Old Zhao nodded, walked away with his hands behind his back, and said: I have seen those who lack heart and eyes, but I have never seen such a lack

2, the first time to go to the girlfriend's house, embarrassed to eat, not full. Waking up hungry in the middle of the night, he sneaked into the kitchen, brought out a plate of leftovers, and ate it secretly in the faint light of the mobile phone screen. Eating and eating, suddenly the lights came on, was found by his father, looking at the girlfriend father holding a broom at the door, I was full of a mouth of vegetables, not spitting, too embarrassing...

3, a few years ago, the family introduced blind dates, at that time very disgusted, when I went to wear sloppy. After arriving at the park, I took out a packet of spicy strips and chatted with the blind date while eating. Chatting about the girl suddenly said, can you give her some spicy strips. I snorted: I want to eat it, buy it myself. Unexpectedly, the yin and yang were wrong, and finally it became, and the salary card was also taken away by her. This morning she ate the dumplings alone. I said, "Wife, I want to eat dumplings too." She snorted coldly: I want to eat it, buy it myself.

4. Remember when I was a freshman, I played games with my roommates in five rows at night, and the dormitory suddenly lost the network and power! After waiting for a while and still no call, we discussed shabu-shabu to eat and drink by the way. With that we started to act, washing vegetables and washing dishes, taking pots and pans. It took about 20 minutes and finally got all the things needed ready. Finally, we looked at the electric hot pot and fell into contemplation.

5, this morning I squeezed the bus to work, the car is crowded. Then a grandmother came up, and then an uncle saw it, and he asked his son to get up, and then gave the grandmother a seat. Then the person next to him said, "Oh, this is not your own son!" If you don't give up your seat yourself, why do you let your son give up your seat? Then the uncle shouted in a surprising voice: "I have no quality in this life, I want to train my son to become a quality person, can't I?" ”

6, I wear rain boots and a shovel to block the mouth of the rice field. When I passed a ditch, I found that there was movement at my feet, and there was a snake! With a subconscious action, I directly slammed it down with a shovel. Looking at the snake that was drifting away, my heart was full of regret. Although there is no snake, any life has the right to survive and should not be harmed, and I should not have a charge that hurts it. Well, actually, I'm on my feet!

7, I drove with my sister-in-law to a remote section of the road. Then swapped places with her and let her test drive. The eldest sister-in-law was still cautious at first. Running on the road at a very slow pace. Running and running, her courage grew. The speed of the car is also getting faster and faster. Finally the car ran more than one hundred and eighty yards. The wind is racing, like a rocket.

8, a medical department boy likes a girl: one day the teacher talked about how to let her husband die suddenly without being discovered, what is the method of death for half a year, the method of death for one year, the method of death for ten years. Looking at the way the girl took serious notes, the boy decided to be friends with her very seriously.

9, this night my sister-in-law quarreled because my brother was playing a game there and did not wash clothes, and my angry sister-in-law sat on the sofa and cried. My mother came over and saw it and angrily said to my sister-in-law, how it is so useless. Then my mother went over and gave my brother two mouths, and then said to my sister-in-law, don't argue with him in the future. I said with great humility: Mom, who is your own child? My mom: It doesn't matter who is born to me, I know that you don't make me angry when you play small. Now my brother's status at home is not as good as the teddy that my mother has raised.

10, yesterday afternoon, I went to the bank to withdraw money. A few men came across the street, and they suddenly coughed together. I realized that it might be a code word for a robbery. As a result, they coughed and walked over. Then, a woman, also began to cough! Are there any infectious diseases recently? Until I also walked to the place where they coughed, I coughed too. Oh my God, who cooks so choking.

1 Go back to the rural hometown to renovate the dry toilet... The new toilet was about to be built, and I made a suggestion to the master: Can you install another sink? The son smiled and said: Why do you install a sink and don't pee on your hands? Me: Do you pee on your boy's hands before you wash your hands? Don't bring me steamed buns when you eat later!

12, husband: wife go faster. I said: Husband, you said that the thief wearing the high heels of other little girls looked good, and you said that her feet didn't hurt, why can't I wear them? Husband: What's wrong? Me: Wearing feet hurts. My husband looked at me with deep meaning and said: Which one of you sees on stilts is a fat man. I

13 The chemist finally promised his girlfriend to make her dinner. The girlfriend came back from work only to see the chemist still fiddling with his flask and alcohol lamp. Seeing his girlfriend's disappointed expression, the chemist comforted and said, "Don't worry honey, the salt will be refined in 5 minutes." ”

14. In a middle school biology anatomy class, the teacher sent teaching materials, which were pictures of the upper and lower limbs. However, due to the wrong number of copies, many students did not get them and made a mess.　　The teacher said busily, "Don't worry, I'll get some later." Now, students without upper limbs should raise their hands. "The whole class was stunned!