1, came back drunk in the middle of the night, saw that his wife was asleep, and the breathing sound was charming. Thinking that she usually beat and scolded me, I held back all my strength and kicked her under the bed, and then I followed

1, came back drunk in the middle of the night, saw that his wife was asleep, and the breathing sound was charming. Thinking that she usually beat and scolded me, I held back all my strength, kicked her under the bed, and then scolded with great anger: you! Lao Tzu is a man with a wife and children! Then he turned his head back and pretended to sleep. The next morning, the wife endured the pain, not only did not blame last night's drunkenness, but also brought steaming milk!

2, the little sister with the boyfriend to take care of the parents, the mother out of the mother-in-law posture to come, all kinds of embarrassment! Future brother-in-law cold sweat DC. At the critical moment, the little sister gave my father a look. Dad hurriedly pulled his mother away, secretly said: Almost OK, it is not easy to meet a blind look at our girlfriend, and then it is difficult to continue, it is estimated that others will not want our girlfriend at that time... What do I think you do? Mom listened, had an epiphany, and then agreed...?

3. I have been working at Foxconn for 6 years, and my relationship with my colleagues is good. During the lunch break, I said to the female team leader: "I have known you for so many years, and I found that you are really talented in our workshop!" The female group leader immediately blushed, and then asked happily: "Then you explain to me what 'talent and beauty' mean, people really love to hear it!" I smiled and said, "Literally, there is neither talent nor appearance!" ”

4. After hearing the news of Uzi's retirement, I was very sad, and went downstairs for lunch to order a braised pork to soothe my wounded heart. After the braised meat was served, I asked in the restaurant: Boss, why does the braised pork I order have so many pig hairs? The boss came out of the back room with a kitchen knife in his hand, and I immediately lowered my voice and said: Boss, I mean that there are pig feathers on this braised meat, which means that you are real pork, not fake pork, and there is no blindness to us. The boss looked at it and said: Brother, this is Ginger!

5. Every year during the Mid-Autumn Festival, I cook at home. My mother said that I had worked hard, and I would not cook in the Mid-Autumn Festival this year, so she paid for it and invited me to eat a big meal! Slightly touched in his heart, he changed his clothes and hurried over. Found that the mother also brought a beautiful woman, it seems that this meal has the meaning of blind date in it. After a meal, the guests and hosts were almost finished eating, and suddenly heard the mobile phone ringing. A look is the message sent by the mother: there are beautiful women, give you a chance to perform, go and buy the single!

6. Some time ago, my girlfriend played scratch music and won 5,000 yuan, and she took a diamond ring in the mall. Girlfriend sighed: Alas! How long will it take for a boy to give me this diamond ring? At this time, a handsome young man came over and said: Only three months! The girlfriend's face was puzzled: What do you mean? Guy: Because I'm a plastic surgery doctor! I know how long it takes to get a person's face pretty enough!?

7, the sister-in-law is 30 years old this year, is not willing to get married, the boyfriend also made a few, and finally at the urging of the mother-in-law, the sister-in-law told everyone to take the boyfriend home on National Day! Everyone was very happy to hear it, the mother-in-law cleaned the house over and over again, and on the day that the sister-in-law came back, the mother-in-law bought a lot of vegetables and a lot of things! When the mother-in-law saw the boyfriend of the sister-in-law, she was very unhappy, because the boyfriend of the sister-in-law not only tied a small braid, but also talked a little mother! The mother-in-law is a very traditional person, and she firmly disagrees with the sister-in-law's association with such a boyfriend, she thinks that such a man has no manhood at all! The sister-in-law said angrily: I don't take my boyfriend home, you are angry, I take it home, you are also angry! People are not without manhood, people are artistic! The last table of hearty meals was not eaten, the sister-in-law took her boyfriend away, and also made a stomach upset, the most important thing is too disappointed!?

8. The cousin took the demolition money of his father's house for 10 million yuan and found a beautiful wife at the level of a goddess. Then I bought a large villa of 200 square meters. After five years of marriage, my cousin said to his wife: Honey, I find that I seem to be sick. His wife: Where is the illness? Cousin: I find my arms getting shorter. His wife: Don't rip me up, how I didn't see it. Cousin: Really, when I was first married, I could put one arm around you, and now I can't hold you with both arms.

9. At night, Lei Lei was drunk and lying unconscious on the window, and suddenly said dream words: Ouch! Don't dare to drink, really dare not drink! The daughter-in-law was angry and wanted to laugh, pulled up the sleepy Lei Lei, and took a glass of water and stuffed it in his hand: Come! One more drink. Lei Lei smiled shyly: Then I will do it first! Closing his eyes, he looked up and grunted and drank dry, and turned his head back to sleep.

10. Once on a weekend, when my parents came back late from work, I thought that I would be able to cook my own food and wait for my hard parents to come back and eat dinner directly. Then I started making soup, scooping a small bowl of soup from the pot to taste salty and light, well, light! Add some salt, taste the bowl again, well, it's still light! Add salt again! Taste it again, or fade! Forget it, no matter how much, tired, up the pot. It turned out that every time I added salt to the pot, the taste was the first to be scooped in a small bowl! No wonder it's been fading all along! In fact, the soup in the pot is already salty to the point of bitterness!

11, husband and other 5 people play mahjong in the living room, I was cooking in the kitchen, one of them came over to talk, and squeezed my ass... I reacted fiercely, and slapped him back with a loud slap, and the shuffling in the living room stopped abruptly, but it was only a pause, and then I burst into laughter, and the one who was smoked was not easy to say, and slipped back to the living room. Afterwards, my husband blamed me for not beating him in public, saying that if I pinched it, I would pinch it, and I was angry with him, so what if he slept with me? The husband was speechless. I also felt that I was too impulsive, but I just didn't know how to deal with it properly.

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #