1, the daughter-in-law and husband walked on the side of the road, a Maybach drove by, splashed the daughter-in-law's body, so the daughter-in-law scolded: Blind? The car stopped, and the man driving the car held out his head: Sister, you

1, the daughter-in-law and husband walked on the side of the road, a Maybach drove by, splashed the daughter-in-law's body, so the daughter-in-law scolded: Blind? The car stopped, and the man driving the car held out his head: Sister, are you scolding me? The daughter-in-law walked up: Who do you not scold? Don't you see someone on the side of the road? Man: Sister, you are blind! Daughter-in-law: I walk, do I splash you with water? Am I blind? The driver pointed to the husband behind his daughter-in-law: Do you want to be blind, will you find a man who has no car, looks ugly, and is still so weak?

2. I am a vegetarian. Two days ago, I went to a restaurant with a leader to eat vegetarian dishes. At the dinner table, I was a little angry: "Rich people love to buy luxury cars to show off their wealth, you say, what is the difference between driving a BMW and Santana?" Leader: "I don't know anything else, but the difference between the co-pilot's sister is still very big." "I can't argue with that...?

3, working at Foxconn, and colleagues get along very well, today I saw a colleague who is not very dynamic actually updated his own dynamics. Just ask him: "Usually I see that you rarely send a circle of friends, ah, how do you think of sending it today?" He suddenly thought of something and looked at me apologetically. I said to me, "I'm sorry, there was a time when I set it up so that I wouldn't let you see it, and I forgot to tune back!" ”

4, last night at a friend's house barbecue, when opening beer a buddy must use their teeth to bite. But he couldn't bite it for half a day, and I really couldn't look at it anymore, so I said to him, "This has a wine screwdriver, you are not tired!" Who knows this goods came to the sentence: "If it weren't for the fact that I didn't brush my teeth today, it was a bit slippery, and my brother would have opened a box a long time ago." ”?

5. After the collapse of Regal Company, he was insane and was sent to a psychiatric hospital. After ten years of meticulous planning, the rich man finally took advantage of the dark wind and high night of a month to escape. As a result, the next day, the rich man found the dean and confessed everything truthfully. The dean was very strange and asked him: You have already gone out, why do you want to come back? The rich man said: I had a hard time returning home, and my wife said to me: Death Gem! It's been 1 hour since you got out of the mental hospital, where have you been during this time...

6, a rich man fell asleep, suddenly woke up and asked: What about our girlfriend! The wife said calmly: What are you shouting? Your daughter wanted to celebrate her classmate's birthday at night, but I refused, and then said she was in a bad mood and went out for a walk. After the rich man listened, he immediately began to get dressed and said: No, I want to go to her, why don't you stop her, she is in a bad mood, you also let her out. The wife still said very calmly: This is not at night, what can happen in the daytime? She's not a child. The rich man said while putting on his shoes: My card, this moment has been swiped out of more than 1 million. "

7, my son said to me: Mom, you said years ago that I did well in the exam and rewarded me with 200 yuan, when will I give it? I said: When my mother was a child, once your grandmother made dumplings. Your grandmother said that if I could eat 20 dumplings, she would reward me with 5 yuan, and I ate 40 dumplings in one go. Son: Rewarded you with 10 pieces? I said: Your grandmother said that I ate so much, she wrapped it up very hard, let me give her 30 yuan of hard work. Son:......?

8. After getting married, I found out that my wife was a "brother support demon", and I often secretly gave his brother living expenses. I also turned a blind eye and never asked, but she intensified and spent the family to continue to buy a house for his brother. I didn't say a word and divorced her directly. Within a few days, my cousin introduced me to her schoolgirl and went on a blind date. The student asked, "What business do you do?" How much can I earn each month? I smiled and said, "I'm not in business, I'm a white-collar worker in the company, and I earn 5,000 yuan a month." The student sister thought about it and said: "5,000 salary is still a provincial life for a single dog, but what do you want to do if you want to raise me after marriage?" Me: "I didn't think I wanted to raise you when you said that." ”

9, want to extort some of the mother-in-law's pension, so I transferred 5 yuan to her, let her buy me a warm baby on the way home. The mother-in-law sent a voice and said: "This money is not enough, how to buy?" I said, "Mom, that's all I have, you put it on for me first, and then I'll pay you back when I pay my salary." But I thought in my heart that I would definitely not pay it back in the future. When the mother-in-law came home, she took out a dollar of mineral water and drank it. Then he poured some boiling water into it and handed it to me..."

10, late at night I walked into my sister-in-law's room, she slept and loved to pedal the quilt, and my wife who was on a business trip instructed me to go to her room every night to help her cover the quilt. Just after entering the room, the sister-in-law suddenly woke up and said with a frightened face: "Brother-in-law, there is someone under my bed!" "I was taken aback and looked down to see that there was really a little girl under the bed who looked exactly like her. I was stunned, and the little girl under the bed tugged at my thighs and said tremblingly, "Brother-in-law, there is someone in my bed!" "Finally, I severely criticized the 4-year-old twin sisters!

11, my wife did not let me smoke, the pipe is particularly strict, once secretly smoking was found. At that time, my daughter-in-law threw me out, and as a result, she met Old Zhao next door, so she complained to Old Zhao Bao. After listening to it, Old Zhao smiled and said to me: "Brother don't say it, you will come to my house to smoke later." Curiously, I asked: Is it true that your daughter-in-law doesn't care about you? Old Zhao said with a bad smile: My daughter-in-law said that only guests from home let me smoke.

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #