1, the young and beautiful sister-in-law is pregnant, when going to the hospital for pregnancy testing, the doctor said that the fetus is small, pay attention! Finally, after staying up until the child was born, the sister-in-law quickly asked the nurse: "Baby."

1, the young and beautiful sister-in-law is pregnant, when going to the hospital for pregnancy testing, the doctor said that the fetus is small, pay attention! Finally, after staying up until the child was born, the sister-in-law quickly asked the nurse: "How heavy is the child?" The nurse replied, "3.8!" The sister-in-law was confused at that time: "How can it be so small as 3.8, but what can I do?" Tears fell as he spoke! When the nurse saw it, she quickly said, "What are you crying?" You can't cry after giving birth! The sister-in-law choked and asked, "Wouldn't it be bad for a child to be so young?" The nurse said: "Where is it small, 3.8 kilograms..."??

2, a few days ago met a big brother, the big brother on both sides of the calf tattooed a carp, the color of a red and a black, the left side of the fish head up, the right side of the face down, the shape of the vigorous, the face is vicious, very frightening. At dinner, when someone finally asked about the meaning of the tattoo, the eldest brother lit a cigarette and said, "I was born on March 15, 1976..." We all pricked up our ears and waited for the next story that was doomed to bloody rain. The eldest brother took a puff of smoke and said, "I'm a Pisces."

3. At that time, my parents were working in angel investment banks, because the working relationship did not have time for me to manage. One day I took the college entrance examination, and no one made me breakfast in the morning. There was no way but to cook two eggs by myself and get a fritter to wish the exam a smooth one. My dad got up and asked me: Where to go so early? I said: I took the college entrance examination today! My dad was suddenly silent, saying that he was going to work and hadn't eaten before he took my meal away...

4. When I came home from work, I found that I did not have the key with me, so I called the lock master to unlock the lock. After the master came, he made a price, I said yes, you open it quickly, and then he opened it for me in ten seconds. At that time, I was shocked and asked him if the lock in my house was very watery, he said yes, suggested that I change it with a new one, I said OK, you change it. After changing it, I asked him, what is the purpose of this lock? He said it might be a little more expensive to unlock next time...

5. My sister-in-law has become a team leader in a foreign company, and her salary is usually very busy. Dragging his tired body home last night, the little nephew ran over and asked his sister-in-law to help with the toys. After the sister-in-law played with the toys, the little nephew said: "Mom, you can play with me!" The sister-in-law was a little annoyed, so she said angrily: "Don't call mom anymore, or I will ignore you!" After a while, the little nephew who couldn't hold back said timidly: "Mrs. Zhang, trouble you..."

6. Me: How did you come here with a helmet? Did you buy a motorcycle? Brother-in-law: No... I came home late today... Me: What? What helmet did you wear when you came back late? With a bang, the brother-in-law's wife took the stick and hit the brother-in-law's head at once. Shouting: How did you come back until now? Where are you SI so late... Brother-in-law: Now I know why...

7. After the divorce, the rich man met a gentle and beautiful girl. After his tireless efforts, eventually they got married. Later, the rich man and his wife joked: Honey, if I met some other girl outside, what would you do to me? The wife did not speak, silently went into the bedroom, took out a stack of certificates and handed them to the rich man. Then he said lightly: I will turn my head and go.

8, Country Garden community opened a breakfast shop, in the morning I went down to eat breakfast, and talked with the boss. Sigh said: This year's business is difficult to do. I took over and said, "Yeah, look at the barber shop I used to go to here, it's closed." The roast duck shop I used to eat has closed down, and even the convenience store where I often buy cigarettes has closed, but your steamed rice noodles taste good, and I must often come to help! At this time, the boss's face is not good-looking, do not hide from you, I am fooling the guests, here is very bad. The one opposite tastes good, you can try it!?

9, the cousin who works in Futukang Electronics Factory is now promoted to the director of the workshop, and the iron brothers go to his house to celebrate with a Chinese cigarette and a bottle of Maotai. After arriving, I found that there were two turtles in my cousin's fish tank, and I didn't know what species, and the shells were colorful. So, the iron brothers said to their cousins, "If you turtle has a cub, can you give me one, it is a very expensive breed at first glance!" The cousin said, "You're going to take it now, my son has smeared several of his mother's bottles of nail polish, and now she's angry when she looks at it!" ”

10. Wang Dong'er looked at a Tiffany bracelet and hinted at the handle dangling in front of Huo Yuhao. Huo Yuhao: What happened to your hand? Wang Dong'er: What do you think of my hands? Huo Yuhao: Slim jade hand, very beautiful! Wang Dong'er: Then do you think you can give me a birthday present to make my hands more beautiful? Huo Yuhao: Of course! On his birthday, Wang Dong'er excitedly opened the gift given by Huo Yuhao... A bottle of hand cream!

11. The drunk man passed by the door of the villa, and his stomach suddenly turned over the river and the sea, and he spat straight to the door. I said to him, "No quality, why are you spitting at my door?" Drunkard: "Who told you that your door was right on my mouth?" I smiled: "My door has been here for a long time, and it is not open to your mouth today." The drunk man pointed to his mouth and straightened out: "Lao Tzu has been in this mouth for 50 years." ”

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