When I went to Meizhou for a tour, I bought grapefruit, and my girlfriend tasted a little and asked: "How is it so sour, you have been deceived!" I explained, "You certainly wouldn't have thought that I deliberately picked the grapefruit, sweet."

When I went to Meizhou for a tour, I bought grapefruit, and my girlfriend tasted a little and asked: "How is it so sour, you have been deceived!" I explained: "You must not think that I deliberately picked sour grapefruit, sweet you can eat a meal, sour you can eat for two days, but also lose the fire..." Girlfriend Bai I glanced at: "Is this really the case, surely sour grapefruit is cheap!" "I was suddenly so embarrassed, and this little bit of careful thinking was recognized by my girlfriend!"

2, late at night, the father helped his son cover the quilt, ready to turn off the lights. But the son suddenly trembled and said, "Daddy, there is someone under my bed!" The father did not believe it, and when he looked down, there was really a boy under the bed who was exactly like his son. The father looked at the boy under the bed in shock, and the boy tugged at his father's sleeve and said in a trembling voice, "Daddy, there is someone in my bed!" In the end, the father beat the twin sons fiercely!

3, when I didn't go to work before, when I saw the BMW, I said with contempt and scolding: "Cow B, sooner or later, one day, Lao Tzu is better than your cow B"; after going to work, when I see the BMW driver, i have a look of envy: "Real cow B, when can I be so cow B?" ”

4, one day, I went to the pharmacy to buy medicine, a woman with very messy hair into the pharmacy and said to the boss to regret the medicine, the boss said"There are 5 yuan 10 yuan 20 yuan to which kind?" The woman said, "20 yuan for one grain." After the woman left, I asked curiously: "Does the boss really have regret medicine?" Give me one! The boss looked at me and said seriously, "One of your big men in TM is also pregnant?" ”

5) In Mexico, there is a parable that is far away but very close to us. A group of people hurried to the road, and suddenly, a man stopped. The person next to him was strange: why didn't he leave? The person who stopped laughed: It went too fast, the soul fell behind, and I will wait for it. The road of life is very long, don't worry, all the efforts will be recognized, I hope you can follow your heart, have the confidence to pause, but also have the courage to go forward, the rest of your life is still long, please don't panic, it is not that the ending is not perfect, it is to wait for enough good luck to meet you again.

6, working in a barbershop, in order to be able to sell out the membership card, every time the customer enters the door I began to explain. A customer came this day, probably afraid that I recommended dyeing and perming hairstyles or something, and as soon as he sat down, he said to me: I can't do anything when I'm pregnant, just cut it slightly. This sentence was so lethal that I blocked what I had just said and stunned me

7. In the morning, I just opened my eyes and saw my wife with a smile like a flower, and she still had toiletries in her hands. Only to hear her say to me: "Husband, you get up first and wash your face, and the meal will be ready immediately." My frightened legs were weak, and I jumped out of bed and knelt down to her, saying, "Daughter-in-law, have I done something wrong again, you can beat me and scold me, I am timid, you don't scare me!" "Looking up at my daughter-in-law, she kept blinking at me, at this time, my mother pushed the door and walked in...

8, finally to winter, think about the humiliation of summer is simply unbearable to look back, summer is too hot, many boys like to roll up the T-shirt, exposing the back of the cool, but, I want to say that some of the tonnage of larger boys, T-shirt you mentioned the stomach left and right, do not go up, this is the most basic respect for flat-breasted girls!!!

9, a few people chatted about some incredible things, Liu Da talked about what he saw the other night: I have never seen someone as big as a card addiction? Q: How big can it be? Liu Da: The four of them lit a lamp and played cards all night in a small boat! Q: How do you know? Liu Da: At that time, the boat was too small to stay, so I stood in the water and watched them fight all night!

10, the brother-in-law is a game anchor, not long ago he played CF to meet a girl. The two chatted for three days with the V letter and met in the park. In the evening, the brother-in-law had already gone to the park gate to wait. After waiting for an hour and not coming, the brother-in-law was a little impatient and just wanted to leave, just at this time, not far away came a girl in a short skirt, looking good. The brother-in-law thought that this time he was lucky, and when he looked closer, it turned out to be his own dragon and phoenix sister!

1 After a tiring day at work today, I dragged my tired body back home. I saw my wife on the couch on her phone at night, so I went over and patted her ass and said, "Get up wife, go out to dinner." When she turned her head, I found that the wrong person had been recognized, and it turned out to be my wife's cousin. I was trying to explain, when my wife slapped me: You are looking for death! The old lady came back with you...

12, today on the bus, a brother has not yet boarded the car to ask the driver: "How many minutes do you have this road bus?" The driver said, "Nine minutes!" Only to hear the brother throw a tantrum and ask loudly: "Then I have waited for almost an hour before I come to a car?" Only to hear the driver master slowly say, "My class is the first shift." "I was about to laugh and pee.

13, my wife will not allow me to watch a football game at three o'clock in the morning. I had no choice but to agree, and when I woke up, I saw my wife constantly rubbing her hands. I was surprised: "Is it pressed when you sleep?" My wife glanced at me and said, "You pinched it!" He also pinched and said, 'How come the five sets of the central government have not come out'. ”

14, last year by train home, there are many people, get off the shoes to squeeze off, I called my mother: when I came to pick me up, I brought a pair of shoes, and then the people around me brushed and looked at my feet, I looked down, the two socks were different colors