1. The female secretary is pregnant, the secretary lets it flow away, and the female secretary insists on returning to her hometown to give birth. Female Secretary: How to notify you when you are born? Secretary: Send me a postcard, write on, Lanzhou ramen. A few months later, the book

1. The female secretary is pregnant, the secretary lets it flow away, and the female secretary insists on returning to her hometown to give birth. Female Secretary: How to notify you when you are born? Secretary: Send me a postcard, write on, Lanzhou ramen. A few months later, the secretary left work, his wife handed a postcard, and the secretary fainted after receiving it and was taken to the hospital. Doctor: What stimuli are you stimulating in the past? The wife said: After reading the postcard, I fell. The doctor took the postcard and read: Four bowls of Lanzhou ramen; two bowls with sausages, two bowls without.

2, our company team building, our manager drank too much. We put him back in his dorm room and let him lie down. When I went to the bathroom, I heard him taking his mobile phone and calling one by one, and after connecting, there was nothing to say. I laughed in the bathroom listening. When he came out, he found out that he was holding my mobile phone...

3. When my daughter was three years old, I bought a small apartment on the twenty-sixth floor, and my daughter was very happy. When I was cleaning at home, my daughter said mysteriously: Dad, there is an uncle in the room hanging from a rope. A little creepy, I went to the room several times and saw nothing. Suspicious and suspicious, he almost pulled the house back. In the afternoon, I went to the room again, and the girlfriend said: Daddy, the uncle who is hanging the rope is here again. The big brother with the air conditioner outside the window leaned in and looked at me innocently.?

4. When I was not yet out of confinement, my mother-in-law forced me to have a second child. Unexpectedly, the second child was a son. For the sake of the bride price of the two sons, the husband often travels to various places for business. Today my husband is on a business trip again, and I bought a watermelon. He ate one clove himself and left three petals of different sizes for his two sons. The eldest son gave the largest piece of land to the younger son and took the smallest piece himself. I was very pleased: "The boss has grown up and is more sensible!" The eldest son: "I eat fast, when I finish eating, my brother has not finished eating, then the rest of the piece is mine." ”?

5. When I first came out to work, after paying the rent, I had two dollars left on my body. I didn't eat for a day and bought a pack of cigarettes for two dollars. Then at night, cut a few holes in the clothes you don't wear, grind dirty spots, and wear them to the market to rummage through the garbage cans. All the rotten vegetable leaves were picked up and I ate boiled vegetables in boiled water for two days. Call my mom and say: I've had a good time here and miss you so much! The next day during the day, continue to walk two kilometers to the company in a suit and shoes, hahaha...

6. After losing my job, I became a delivery man. I was afraid that the electric car was stolen and put on five locks, but it was still stolen, so I asked the security uncle. Uncle said: I saw the car stealing, and I got it away at once. Me: Huh? I've got five locks on, and it will take some time to unlock them! Uncle: Young man, people drove a Wuling Hongguang, two big men came down, directly carried your electric car to the car and left! Me: Uncle, why didn't you stop it when you saw it! Uncle shook his head: "Child, those two are my sons, I can't stop them who earn money to support me!?

7, yesterday went to dinner, a total of 98 yuan I gave 100. At that time, there was no money in the store, and the boss said that I would wait for him to change it. There were many people in the shop, so I waited at the door, and soon the boss came out and handed me 2 yuan. At this time, an old lady saw it, and she took out 5 yuan from her pocket and said to me: Young, what is wrong with doing something? Give, eat enough to find a job to go. I shook my head in embarrassment, and the old lady suddenly changed her face: How can it be too little? Give it to me, starve you to pull down!

8. Recently, my daughter-in-law's company arranged to send a foreign mission, and I and my sister-in-law were left at home. Fortunately, I was still a decent gentleman, and I was at peace for a few days. However, my sister-in-law has a problem, eating braised meat at every meal, which has led to my recent pocket money being almost gone. I really can't stand it, so I said: You've eaten too much meat these days, and you see you're fat! The sister-in-law listened unhappily and said: How do you know, I don't think I am fat, or you pick me up and sweep me up! I refused at the time, a big girl with a water spirit was facing me all day, and I went to the hotel that night!?

9, female colleagues asked me to go to her house for tea, only to forget to bring the key when I arrived at the door, I said wait for your husband to come back, she said it was a mistake. We called the master who unlocked the lock, and the master came to drum for a few seconds and then opened it, saying that it was 100 yuan. Female colleagues let me pay, I think it is expensive, not to mention that it is not my home, I said to the master 50 lines no, the master said that the market price is 100. I said that your 100 yuan was too easy to earn, and the master couldn't lock the door again, saying that he didn't want the door-to-door fee. My female colleague and I were dumbfounded, she offered to go to the hotel, I refused, I really just paid 50 bucks. Therefore, remind everyone that when you go out with more money, the opportunity is only given to those who are prepared.

10, business trip to Xiaogan, go to a small supermarket to buy some snacks to eat, I look at a row of snacks, come over a cute Lolita, look at me with my feet, I have a moment of brain fever, ask her: Little sister, what do you eat, I invite you. Little Lori looked at the snack without speaking, I said you are so beautiful, call a brother, I will buy it for you. Little Lori crisply shouted: Boss, there is a lewd man flirting with your sister-in-law

11. One night, two couples quarreled over some small things, and the result became more and more intense. They are very determined: divorce! I'll leave tomorrow!! The next morning, they still refused to compromise, and after breakfast, they went out together... The son chased him out in a hurry, and after a while, he came back crying, wiped his tears and said, "They forgot to get the marriage certificate and the household registration book, I sent them, I didn't expect to be beaten."

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #