1, son: Mom, give me some money, my girlfriend is pregnant. Mom: Okay! Wait for my news tomorrow. The next day son: Mom, why hasn't the money arrived yet? Mother: Son, the wedding house, the wedding car, has bought the full money! Spot! Bring me back and get married! Your looks are good if someone wants to! Hurry up and get me back to get married!
2, that year to learn to drive, the coach has been talking non-stop, fire, a year did not go. The next year, the driving school called me and begged: Come on, change you to a quality coach. Sure enough, this coach was really good, he kept praising me, that day he drove the car into the fish pond, and he laughed at Mimi and said: Awesome, not a single fish was hit by you...
3. The brother-in-law has a business abroad, he is the manager of the export department, so he often needs to fly abroad. Less than three days after returning from his last trip abroad, he was on another business trip to a foreign country. He just walked for a while and his sister felt that her heart was empty, so she sent a circle of friends and said: "Alas, my husband is gone again!" Who knows, only half an hour, the brother-in-law suddenly returned, entered the house without a word, and looked at each room. The sister thought that the brother-in-law had forgotten something and asked, "What are you looking for?" The brother-in-law turned to his sister and asked, "Who are you trying to tell when you send the circle of friends?" ”
4. The brother-in-law and the female boss went on a business trip and told the sister-in-law that they would not be able to come back for a week. But things went relatively smoothly, and the next day the brother-in-law returned. When the brother-in-law arrived at the door, he knocked on the door, and the sister-in-law slept in the room! She thought there was a thief and shouted in fear: "Who is knocking on the door, my husband and I are sleeping, something to talk about tomorrow!" "When the brother-in-law heard this, his face changed drastically, and he kicked the door and broke it!"
5. Until now, for these two fireworks, I have quit drinking... That time I was drunk, and when I woke up, I burned two cigarette butts on my hands and necks, "Flowers!" I remembered a little and hurried to find my daughter-in-law: I was drunk, you were present, why didn't you stop me and let me burn my arm like this! The daughter-in-law looked innocent: I wanted to stop at first, but as soon as I smelled the fragrant smell of barbecue, I couldn't bear it... There is a foodie daughter-in-law who can't afford to hurt!
6. Last night, a girl from the company invited me to dinner, and after eating the meal, the girl looked at me innocently and said, "Oh, I forgot to bring money!" I said, "I discussed with the boss, you press your big gold ring here, and you will come back to get it later, there should be no problem." Before I could finish speaking, I saw her glance at me coldly, take out two hundred-dollar bills from her pocket and slap them on the table and leave. If you want me to pay, there's no way...
7. I met a flight attendant when I was traveling by plane, and I am now married for 7 years. As the saying goes, the seven-year itch, in order to return to the time of love, I said to my wife: Flight attendant, or we will talk about love again, you pretend not to know me. The wife immediately nodded happily and said: Yes! I said to her, "Hey, Beauty!" She immediately slapped me and scolded: Grandma is also something you can harass!?
8. Because he robbed the girlfriend of the workshop director, he was fired from the factory. In order to support my family, I had to work in an electronics factory. Within a few days of work, the big boss of the factory came to visit our factory. At noon, we went to the canteen to eat together, and the big boss saw that the employees had meat and vegetables, and the meat and vegetarian combinations were particularly good, and they smiled and nodded. At this time, he suddenly found an employee burping and eating non-stop. The big boss walked over and said with concern: Eat too much at once, you will digest badly, eat it tomorrow!? The employee was stunned for a moment, and then asked with the surname Fen: Boss, will you come back tomorrow?
9, a big master, cough badly, let the doctor to see. The doctor said: Go back and smoke less! Uncle went back for more than a month to find the doctor again, and the cough became worse. The doctor asked: Let you smoke less, how much do you smoke? Uncle said: Less than half a box a day! The doctor asked again: Then how much did you smoke before? Uncle said: I wouldn't smoke before.....
10. I have been married for five years, and the relationship between husband and wife has always been very good. Drinking with your buddies last night, the brother couldn't help but ask, "Why are you two so good in your relationship?" Me: "Let me tell you this, we are both people who have experienced life and death together!" Brother: "Really fake?" Me: "Of course it's true, we had several fights, and we almost ended up together!" ”
11. I saw on the Internet that persimmons could not be eaten with seafood, so I ran to tell my mother. This year's New Year' Day, I was playing outside with friends in the morning, and I came home hungry at noon. Mom said: Persimmon cakes on the table, if you are hungry, you can eat some, and then I ate several crazy. At noon, my mother made a table of delicious seafood dinner, and I drooled when I watched it, but I could only endure it silently.
#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #
![Seven years of itch, do you communicate in your marriage My husband and I are college classmates, it should be said that the emotional foundation is very good, there are also a lot of common language, as older, married for a long time, it seems more[fig]](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAP///wAAACwAAAAAAQABAAACAkQBADs=)