I remember once going to the swimming pool with my parents, when I first entered the gate, I saw a social youth tattooed, shaved a "green skin" head, and wore a large gold chain around his neck! Wait for us to get into the water

I remember once going to the swimming pool with my parents, when I first entered the gate, I saw a social youth tattooed, shaved a "green skin" head, and wore a large gold chain around his neck! When we went into the water to adapt to the temperature, we watched the brother swing and walk into the water, and the thunder happened, and the thick and thick gold chain on his neck floated on the water...

2, yesterday I met an old mother downstairs, picked up my mobile phone and said it was hers! I said, "You said the phone was yours, you called it, did it promise?" The old lady said, "Then you call it, does it promise?" Me: "Little love classmate! Cell phone: "I'm here!" ”

3, the employee borrowed an Audi A6 from me, punched the swollen face and became fat, I could not resign, so I lent him the car. The next day I saw my car on the news: the Audi A6 was driving a double flash, without a single person in the car, parked in the emergency lane. I was directly angry, called the staff and asked: I lent you a car, and you actually threw my car on the highway. The employee said: Boss, it was your Audi A6 that broke anchor first and threw me on the highway first. I just let it experience the feeling of being thrown on the highway, am I wrong? I was speechless.

4. Zi Xuan: "Dad, what do you say I do if I take the first place every year?" Old Kim: "Punch! Zi Xuan: "Then what about the first place in our class every year?" Old Kim: "Did you say it earlier?" I think it should be changed class teachers, these years your beatings don't get beaten! ”

5, there is a male colleague who is particularly handsome and likes him. In order to be close to him, when he washed his work clothes, he also washed it with him, and in order to thank me, he said to invite me to dinner. I was trying to say yes, but I forgot to eat too much in the morning, and I burped a few times in a row! Only to see him frown, "Don't you want to?" I just wanted to explain, and I hit two more without a fight.

6, had a dream, dreamed that he wanted a little magic fairy transformer. Dad didn't agree, saying that girls only play this! So I begged God to turn me into a girl and give me another transformer! God promised... I turned into a little magic fairy and met my father on the way with the transformer in my hand. As he passed by, he snatched the transformer and said, "This, my son loves!" Then another mallet knocked me unconscious and dragged me away, saying, "This, my son likes too..."

7, the brother and sister-in-law married, that night they slept together, the brother woke up and forgot that he was married! As soon as he stretched out his arm, he found that there was a woman with a shawl next to him, and his brother's first reaction was that there was a ghost! At that time, my brother was lying on the bed trembling with fear! The plot of countless ghost stories flashed in my mind like a movie. At this time, the sister-in-law woke up and said, "Husband, are you cold?" "Brother has just returned to God!"

8, once in the front yard Grandma Li found that the leeks in the vegetable garden were missing a furrow, and immediately stood at the door and scolded Grandma Zhang at her opposite door, and the two usually did not deal with it. Grandma Li pointed out that the art of sand insinuation of Mulberry Acacia was very skilled, and Grandma Zhang smelled the wind.

9, there is a guest in the restaurant after eating to ask the waiter to pack, the waiter looked at the guest in shock, because there is nothing on the table except for the bones, the guests hurriedly said: Pack, bones for the dog to eat. The waiter agreed, then shouted: Pack the dog.

10, my brother, there was a car accident a few years ago. The calf was amputated, and the doctor installed a prosthesis. Go out in the morning and see an old man fall to the ground, surrounded by lively people! He thought that so many people were watching, it should be all right, so he went to help the old man and put his arm around his leg, threatening that you had bumped me into me! Holding the legs of the buddies is dead or alive and refusing to let go, and as a result, I listen to a click, and the old man looks at me leaning! The feet are dragged to the back! It's big. I saw that the old man jumped up and ran! Run that fast!

1 Watched a joke a few years ago. Once Ge You went out to shoot a play, someone on the road greeted him and said: Teacher Ge, do you still go to the scene yourself? Ge You didn't pay attention and said yes, yes. After a minute, I reacted and said, shouldn't I go myself to shoot the scene?

12, the young man drove a BMW to buy Huazi, bought two packs, and gave the cashier 100 yuan. The cashier said that there was no 2 pieces of change to find, and asked him: Just here is a piece of scratch music, offset line? The young man agreed, and scraped away in front of the cashier, and the cashier's face turned green, because: Congratulations on winning the prize of 50,000 yuan! The boy is happy! In front of the cashier, it was simply turned over and the serf sang.

13. After the brother-in-law finished junior high school, due to his poor grades, he was sent to the mountain by the old man to practice martial arts. Some time ago, the brother-in-law's academic achievements went down the mountain, saw a local tycoon boss recruiting a bodyguard brother-in-law to apply, the local tycoon boss looked at his resume: the bodyguards around me have been recruited, but my family still lacks a water worker, you are from the martial arts, good physical fitness You can try it! The brother-in-law said coldly: Please don't insult Kung Fu! The local tycoon boss said: Oh, then you hit the Eighteen Palms of the Descending Dragon, the Shadowless Feet of Foshan, and the Rulai Divine Palms! The brother-in-law immediately stood up: Boss, where is the bucket?

14, you will not blow your nose at all! Most people blow their noses, are pinching the nostrils on both sides of the hard, because this may cause a part of the nose to flow back into the sinuses, causing sinusitis, the correct approach should be, while blowing and changing while slowly ~ ~