He took a fancy to uncle security's sister-in-law and sent uncle 2,000 yuan in red envelopes to help match. The security uncle was very efficient and immediately arranged for us to meet. I was right after meeting

He took a fancy to uncle security's sister-in-law and sent uncle 2,000 yuan in red envelopes to help match. The security uncle was very efficient and immediately arranged for us to meet. After meeting her, I fell in love with her at first sight and tentatively asked her: What kind of boy do you like? Her: I love it! I sadly got up and left, and then I said in my mouth: Isn't it okay to be a little bit of the head?

2, the mother coaxed her son to sleep, she told him a story: "Once upon a time, there were two people, a man and a woman, they were together every day, but they couldn't talk a word, and they couldn't turn their heads to look at each other!" At this time, the son interrupted his mother and asked, "Are you talking about the two uncles and aunts in the news broadcast?" ”

3, he, he is my ex, he and my girlfriend got along, I was very angry, decided to choose to break up. Later, he knew he was wrong, he knelt down and begged me not to leave him, and he swore that he would be good to me alone for the rest of his life... I softened my heart, but no matter how much he coaxed me, I didn't take the good fruit for him to eat, and later he was poisoned and died of too much moldy food. ”

4, I held my cat (a puppy) wanted to take a picture with it, I asked my brother to take a picture with the mobile phone, my brother made me laugh, I put on a smile that recognized charity, after laughing my brother asked me: Why are you smiling so obscenely at a dog? I.........

5, I am not smart but witty, go to the owner unit to get the drawings, the sister said that she is on duty today, just at the doorman! When I arrived, I just saw her walking in front, and I cried out: beauty in front. The other party turned back to me and said: You have recognized the wrong person! I was only stunned for a few tenths of a second, and said: I recognized the wrong person, but it was not called a wrong name! And then...... I got her WeChat!

6. The project manager is teaching a safety production open class: everyone must pay attention to the three violations, illegal command, and illegal cao. At this time, Xiao Zhang, who was snoozing, entered the manager's sight, and the manager paused and called: Xiao Zhang, what do you say about the three violations! Xiao Zhang immediately opened his eyes and pretended to be calm: Three circles? Isn't it bust, waist and hips? There was an air of joy in the air.

7, wearing a mask for more than half a year I suddenly found that this half a year has not had a cold nor a fever, go out rarely smell odor, go to the bathroom is not afraid of smell, more importantly, I am more like a star, go out more privacy, so the brother decided to wear a mask every day after going out, what do you think?

8, just sat in the living room very boring, just happened to see my family of paper written on the top of the 402 sheets, curiosity driven by the curiosity I took the paper up and counted again, 400 sheets, I think maybe too much paper the first time did not count clear, so I counted again, 397 sheets ... I'm irritable now with obsessive-compulsive disorder... Very irritable...

9, spent 150,000 to buy a second-hand Volkswagen Phaeton, did not expect to be a water car, there are many problems, put in the repair shop to repair. Without a car, I had to take the bus out, there were a lot of people on the bus, and a big mother had some motion sickness and opened the window a little! As a result, a big aunt in the back said fiercely: I can't blow the wind "bang", so I closed the window again! Then the aunt who opened the window earlier gave her a blank look and said: Are you an ash, and you will scatter as soon as you blow it?

10, the old man runs Didi part-time, and if he lets his mother-in-law pinch his shoulder when he gets home from work, he will receive work and earn money. If you don't receive work and don't earn money, you will take the initiative to do housework when you get home. For so many years, the other day I accompanied my wife to live in the old man's house for half a month, and when I found that he washed the dishes every day, I asked: "Is the business so bleak?" The old man sighed and said, "Your mother-in-law is old and learned, and when she found out that I didn't receive work, she pinched her shoulders!" ”

1 You haven't seen a middle school female classmate for many years, your young female college counselor, your neighbor's little sister, your company's front desk sister, suddenly one day, you feel that their soil is more energetic, that is most likely they learned to draw eyebrows.

12, my wife only gives me 30 yuan a week cigarette money, when I went to buy cigarettes found that the cigarette rose a dollar, go home and tell my wife, but she said I lied to her, but also angrily asked, are you ready to ask for more than a dollar to find other girls to eat?

13, I work in a self-media company, the company's working environment is very good. The company's leaders are approachable and the company's colleagues are hospitable. At noon dinner, there was a man and a woman sitting opposite, and the man's helper called for more intestinal powder, and then asked her: "Why are you eating so much today?" The woman devoured and responded while eating: "We have known each other for a week, and some things will not be hidden from you." ”

14, at noon and the buddies eat outside the fast food, gave Zhang a hundred pieces. The boss read: "18, 23 a total of 31 pieces, collect 100 pieces should find 79 pieces!" As soon as I listened, Ben still wanted to sit for a while and rub the air conditioner, which would not be taken care of, and made a look with the buddies and hurried away. Wait for the corner, take out a grab ticket that you just found, and count it back and forth twice, ?] Wrong, it's 59 pieces! Boss, look at you very good-looking...