Downstairs opposite, at 11:55 p.m., a little girl howled, cried, slammed the door, told her father to open the door, she did not dare to sleep alone, she wanted to sleep with her father, and the father had been deaf

Opposite downstairs, at 11:55 p.m., a little girl howled, cried, slammed the door, told her father to open the door, she did not dare to sleep alone, she wanted to sleep with her father, the father had been deaf and reacted, the child had been crying and howling all the time slamming the door, crying... cry...... Half an hour passed... Desperate, he cried out, "Daddy open the door!" Auntie opened the door! I'm going to go in and sleep! "The whole world was suddenly silent.

2, a classmate put the socks under the pillow before going to bed, the next morning, found the socks in his mouth, just by the roommate to see, the roommate in the wild laughter, the buddy said very calmly: "Men should be cruel to themselves, this bit of pain can not eat, why eat it?" After wiping his mouth, he said, "What a fragrance!" ”

3, today to the child signed up, immediately go to kindergarten, the child still has half a month to turn three years old, the general kindergarten in the small county is basically this price, mainly close to home, do not know if the child can adapt to the kindergarten environment? The first time I left my parents to go to school to eat and live, I really don't know if she will like it? That's how all the parents came?

4, with a strange girlfriend to eat, I asked her: how about yesterday's blind date? She said: It's done. Me: "What about the other side?" She: "Not very rich, and the appearance is average." Me: "Then why did you say yes?" She: "We ordered a plate of pickled pepper claws, and he used his mouth to remove the bones in the claws... ”

5, my husband and I cover a pair of quilts to sleep. One night my 5-year-old daughter came into our room and said to us, "No wonder you only gave birth to one child, you don't know anything about physiology, you should sleep in a bed." "At that time, my husband and I were shocked after listening to it, who taught it?"

6, in recent days, the brain show of the home is funny. Today, before going to the street, my mother instructed me to turn off the fire when the soup was ready, and then washed today's dirty socks. So I took my socks and went into the kitchen (actually, I should have gone to the bathroom). After entering the kitchen, I forgot what I was going to do, and then I saw the soup boiling, so I thought about it, opened the lid of the pot, and threw the socks in!

7, Tomson Yipin moved a hot beauty, the rich said that the beauty is very abnormal. Whenever night falls, you will hear the screams of beautiful women tearing their hearts and lungs, which seriously affects the rest of the rich. The response to the community has been fruitless many times, and yesterday the rich man finally made an appointment with a beautiful woman. Meet the rich said that the beautiful woman has a disease to treat in time not to affect the rest of others, the result is not a word of beauty with the rich to do up, quarrel can not be opened, and finally the rich voice are dumb, walking feel weak ... ...

8, netizens: the neighbor's aunt often asks me about the Internet problem, and every time I know everything. When I went out this morning, I told my wife that I would socialize at night, and my mother's husband talked a lot through the security door: "Men say that socializing, 99% of them go to play by themselves." When I came home from work in the evening and met him, I said to him, "Everyone is a man, and you are not rude in the morning." He said, "Are you being generous?" You teach my daughter-in-law to shop online, are you generous?

9, after eating Chinese New Year's Eve meal, is idle, high school like a boy called, he said he bought a car, near my house, do you want to go out for a ride together? He came to pick me up. I happily agreed at once, quickly washed my hair, changed into new clothes, put on lipstick and ran downstairs quickly. Downstairs, I saw that behind his tricycle was already pulling a dozen old classmates

10, winter is coming, Xiaoming feels very cold. So I asked my mother: How can I get hot? Mom said: Stay in the corner, where there is 90 degrees. But Xiaoming was still cold, and her mother said that lying on the ground should be 180 degrees; Xiaoming was getting colder, and her mother drew a circle and said that there were 360 degrees inside. Xiaoming felt useless and went to hibernation.

1 Netizen: Lang Xianping: How much is linyi's current house price? Linyi experts: more than 8,000! Lang Xianping: More than 8,000 ah! After contemplation... Lang Xianping: In fact, we should not look at the number of house prices, but should look at the driving force behind house prices. I would like to say that linyi three districts, 8000 is just the starting price. The city is no longer within 10,000.

12, the wife is weighing, found the husband smiling on the side. The wife was angry and yelled; "Do you think I'm fat?" The husband put away his smile and said with a serious face; 'According to your weight, your height should be about one meter eight.' So it's not fat, it's short. ’

13, a colleague's girlfriend disliked him for opening a Honda Accord, and a popular Magotan. Colleagues are particularly upset and can't sleep every night. When I went to work today, he asked me what I should do if I had insomnia. I said, "Count the sheep, count the sheep and surely fall asleep." He was stunned for a moment, and then he said: What about the sheep? It's amazing!

14, the company's two female colleagues do not want to work, so look for the manager to ask for leave. A female colleague called the manager:"My great aunt is here, and I want to take a leave of absence." The manager was speechless, but still promised: "Good, you are allowed to have a day!" After a while, another female colleague's mobile phone also came, and the manager came up and scolded: "Is it the big aunt who is coming?" This fake does not approve! The female colleague was stunned and said, "No, my great aunt is coming, I want to take leave!" The manager panicked: "Three days to you!" ”