1, the class teacher was accidentally hit by a Maserati, lost more than 2 million, and then the class teacher resigned to take 2 million to do business. And then there was a new teacher in our class.

1, the class teacher was accidentally hit by a Maserati, lost more than 2 million, and then the class teacher resigned and took 2 million to do business. Then a new teacher came to our class and asked each of us to write a personal introduction. After the teacher saw what we wrote, he stood on the podium and asked: What is the most important thing for people? It's honesty, right? The students answered: Yes. Then, the teacher said: Well, now please write in the self-introduction that you can crush the big stone in the chest of the students to perform on the stage, and ask the students who step on the light bulb to prepare !!!

2. The matchmaker introduced a flight attendant to her brother-in-law, and the two met at Starbucks. The flight attendant asked shyly, "How much do you earn a month?" Brother-in-law: "Not much, only 200,000." The flight attendant looked shocked: "This is not much, there are already many, what do you do?" Brother-in-law: "Be a little security guard in the GreenLand Group." Flight attendant: "Your salary will not be 200,000 won." The brother-in-law smiled and said, "Otherwise, you think it's RMB?" ”

3. When I was in college, our dormitory stipulated that we were not allowed to eat instant noodles, so a friend of mine closed the dormitory door and opened the cabinet door as a cover to eat quietly, and the dormitory manager came in. She quickly hid the instant noodles, and I saw that there was a lid on the ground with the instant noodles logo underneath? I thought about kicking it down the window, and as soon as I kicked it, the lid flipped over...

4, the girlfriend just got a driver's license, today rushed to drive out to buy things. After a while, I called me to say that there was a crash and got into a dispute with the insurance company. So I rushed over to ask the insurance officer. As a result, the insurance officer said: "Brother, it is not that we do not lose, you see such a large square on a telephone pole, you say she is practicing car training or practicing aiming!" ”

5. Registered a V-letter trumpet plus daughter-in-law, and the daughter-in-law agreed. I message: Beauty! Are you available? I invite you to have a late-night snack! Daughter-in-law: Who are you? I continued to tease her: Have we met before? She replied: I am already married, but I will not pay attention to you if I don't tie the knot, please don't look for me again. I finally breathed a sigh of relief, she really loved me the most!

6, the rich man suddenly called me: you pay attention to me these days, I want to sell my Maybach, you see if anyone buys! I wondered: Didn't you buy your car for only a year? What, you have to change to a new one? The rich man said breathlessly: In just one year, I changed 12 girlfriends, every time I quarreled because I drove out on a date and couldn't find a parking space, 12 ah, which is the car, this is a breakup artifact, I have decided to sell the car, and I will take BRT on future dates!

7. Five years ago, my first love girlfriend abandoned me because she thought I was poor and couldn't satisfy her, and then ran away with a local tycoon of one or forty years old. From that day on I vowed that I would try to make money and make her unaffordable. Now five years later, I drove bentley mulsanne to where she lived. She looked at me with a look of loss and invited me in for a chat. I refused: "Why did you go back then?" What's the use of regretting it now? Me: "Your husband is still waiting for me to pick him up and take him home, and he has time to talk..."

8. I am 177 in height, my girlfriend is a flight attendant of China Southern Airlines, and I have been dating my girlfriend for 3 years. My girlfriend's parents didn't seem to be very satisfied with me, and my brother went to her house once, and her parents were indifferent to me. Being picky about me in all sorts, the girlfriend and her parents went into the kitchen and I sat in the living room by myself. I angrily made a vicious face at the pictures of her parents. Then grab it with your hands, aim one by one, burst out, and shoot in waves. Then, I received a message from my girlfriend: you hurry up, I may not be able to block my father's power, my living room has real-time monitoring!

9. When my son was writing homework, he stole his mobile phone to beat the glory of the king, and also used my bank card to buy a Chang'e skin. I know that I will be very angry in the future, and I will fight with a feather duster. My wife immediately stopped me and said, "My son is still young, so he should focus on criticism and education." I began to say bitterly: "Son, you look at your father, you studied seriously since he was a child, was admitted to Tsinghua, worked hard, and only married your mother..." Speaking of this, I suddenly stopped, and my wife asked curiously: "What?" I said, "I think it's a negative teaching material, don't scare your son." ”?

10. My wife received a text message from her ex-husband: "Please send money for my alimony to this account!" The wife took a look at it, so she took out her bank card and only remitted 0.01 yuan each time. According to the bank's regulations, a handling fee of two yuan is deducted from the beneficiary's account each time. When the wife sent out about 5 yuan in a big way, she received a message from her ex-husband: "Don't send money anymore, you have deducted more than 1,000 yuan, let me have a horse, otherwise how can I live?" ”

11. The female manager's husband has been doing the ligature surgery for half a year, and the female manager is suddenly pregnant. Her husband divorced her directly, and the female manager begged me to marry her, not wanting the child to be born without a father. I agreed as soon as my heart softened, and after marriage we bought a big house and lived a happy life. Recently I found that today's migrant workers are particularly fast, and a week ago, I went home from a business trip. The wife hired a migrant worker to repair the range hood at home, although it was a migrant worker, but the suits and shoes worn by others were worn. Just yesterday I came home from work early and found a man a computer. My wife told me that the computer was broken, and I fixed my eyes on it, oh, or the boy. You said that there are too many people in a migrant workers' union, and my stupid wife did not recognize that she invited the same person.

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #