1, there is a young woman living upstairs, and she and I have a good feeling for each other, but we have not broken the window paper. One night, I was watching TV at home when I suddenly got a text message, it was Lou

1, there is a young woman living upstairs, and she and I have a good feeling for each other, but we have not broken the window paper. One night, I was watching TV at home when I suddenly received a text message from the young woman upstairs, only two words, save me! I was shocked and didn't know what had happened to her. I dialed her cell phone, only to find that it was turned off, so I ran straight upstairs and knocked desperately on her door, but no one responded for half a day. I thought to myself that she didn't know if she was at home or not, didn't know what was going on? I thought about it for a while and decided to pry the lock and go inside to see what was going on, but I wouldn't pry the lock either, so I pulled out my phone and made a phone call to find my ex-wife, because she had the contact information of the person who pried the lock! The phone rang and my ex-wife coldly asked me what was going on? I asked her if she could send me the contact details of the person who had picked the lock, and she sneered and said, Why should I give it to you? I have nothing to do with you, you go find someone else! I was in a hurry, saying that I was saving people, let her stop making trouble, and quickly give me the contact information!

2. After graduating from college, I worked as a boss assistant in a company. Today I went with the boss to visit the customer, the car walked to the middle of the road the boss suddenly said: so sleepy. Sitting in the back row, I replied in passing: Didn't you rest well at noon? Then the boss said again: I am going to Zhongshan on Sunday, how do you arrange it? I answered again: No arrangement. At this time, the boss turned his head leisurely and said: I am on the phone, why do you say a word you reply. The old lady really wants to open the car door and jump down.....

3. I just got paid today and went to the bank to save money after work. There were so many people that I was bored and folded the numbered paper into the shape of a heart. When I was proud, I arrived, too late to dismantle, directly handed to the teller girl. The girl was stunned after getting it, looked at me, and decisively threw it into the trash. But when she saw the balance on my card, she blushed and picked it up again...

4. When my cousin went to college, she was recognized as the school flower, and with her proud posture, she entered a large listed company after graduation and became a secretary to the president. My aunt was selling beef noodles downstairs at the company, and at noon that day, the president asked his cousin to take him to taste it. The president and cousin walked in with a smile. My aunt asked, "Girl, how long have you been together?" After saying that, my aunt scooped up a large spoonful of beef to put in the president's bowl. The cousin said shyly: Mom, don't be fooled, he is my boss. Then my aunt's hand shook, and only two slices of beef were put into the president's bowl.

5. The rich man's son is on the first plant, and on this day the son came home from school and said to the rich man: "Daddy, I want to quit school!" The rich man asked in surprise, "Why son?" Son: "What the Chinese teacher said is wrong!" Regal: "What's wrong?" Son: "Today' Chinese teacher said that if you don't go to school well, you have to work for others, and you can't earn a few dollars a day, this is not a lie, Dad, you are a big boss, you earn millions every day!" "Regal:" ........."

6, today's back met the ex-boyfriend when shopping, his girlfriend knew that I was his ex-girlfriend, he deliberately spoiled in front of me, asked him to carry, and then her former friend said: "No problem, you are so light!" My God, the visual estimate is almost one hundred and sixty pounds, good to say that she is light, and then I followed them three streets, if I am not really hungry, I can follow them until dark!?

7, a few days ago to buy lottery tickets after winning a hundred million, bought a Porsche, with a villa, the company colleagues are envious, even the goddess who usually looks at me coldly, also took the initiative to come to me almost said: Brother, after work I take your car back to it. At this time, a female colleague next to me was not happy and said: I first agreed with my brother, he sent me home. At this time, two female colleagues quarreled in order to take my car, and in the end, the goddess won, and I sent the goddess home.

8. My brother and sister-in-law went abroad on a business trip together, and when they left, they sent my little niece to me and asked me to help watch for a few days. In the morning, I went to the kindergarten to send my niece, and saw my colleague Xiaoming leading his son over, and the son looked the same as him, with a round face and small squinting eyes. I scolded him: "Xiaoming, you are a liar, two days ago you let us introduce the object, I didn't expect your son to be so big!" Xiaoming suddenly twisted and squeezed: "Sister, don't shout, this is my brother!" "I...

9. My cousin graduated from junior high school this year, and yesterday my cousin came to my aunt's house, and my aunt asked him: "Do you have any love in your class?" He said, "Yes. The aunt asked him again, "What about you?" He said, "No. The aunt said, "Why?" He said: "The ratio of men to women is seriously imbalanced, and there are more men and fewer women." The aunt asked, "How perpetual is it?" The cousin sighed, "There is one more man than one woman, and I am the one who has more." ""

10, years ago with my aunt to travel, sleep in a room at night. When I woke up the next day, I found that my aunt had heavy dark circles and asked my aunt what was wrong. Aunt said, you said that you are a girl's family, sleep snoring even if it is, but also hit so personality, each snoring with a sharp whistle, very diuretic, I did not do anything one night, clean on the toilet!

11. After completing my master's degree, my myopia has reached 800 degrees. Today, when I was leaning against the wall to smoke, I saw a rat's tail sticking out of the drain pipe as thick as a chopstick. I quickly ran into the kitchen to get the kitchen knife, and then raised it to a knife, when the Sparks were all cut out, and the kitchen knife was directly broken in half. I took a closer look, and it turned out to be a piece of steel...

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #