1. My mother-in-law quietly pulled me to the bedroom and asked, "I have a Maybach that has been driving for a week, do you want it?" Me: "How can I afford to buy Maybach?" Mother-in-law: "You make a price,

1. My mother-in-law quietly pulled me to the bedroom and asked, "I have a Maybach that has been driving for a week, do you want it?" Me: "How can I afford to buy Maybach?" Mother-in-law: "You make a price, I am tired of driving this car, and I will sell you at the right price." I tentatively asked, "80,000?" The mother-in-law exclaimed, "So little? I bought it for more than $5 million. I was distressed: "But my salary is not much, now this little money!" Mother-in-law: "Then now make up 920,000 dowry for you, and this car is sold to you for 1 million." "Dad called to say that the family was demolished, and I immediately resigned to beat Didi and went home to get money. The car came, I didn't expect it to be a Honda Civic, driving or beautiful. I asked the beauty: "Driving a luxury car and working part-time, you are not bad for these few dollars, why?" Beauty smiled contemptuously at me, "I just like to see you poor ghosts stunned, envious and puzzled." "At that time, I couldn't help but scold her and cry, and after getting out of the car, I resolutely gave her a five-star praise!

2. A beautiful beautiful woman was deceived into the pyramid scheme nest by her classmates, the pyramid scheme leader brainwashed her in class, the beauty was very cooperative with the serious study of the lecture, and the light of worship flashed in her eyes: I had to sincerely say, "Big brother, I worship you as a teacher, you teach me well, take me, let me learn to make money with you." As soon as the eldest brother heard that the beauty was hooked, he said to let her pay the money, and the beauty said yes, I will go home tomorrow to get the money! You must take me to the top of my life! The eldest brother heard that the beautiful woman wanted to go home to get the money, and his heart was even happier, and he continued to brainwash her: "You can ask your family to transfer money to you, so that you don't have to run around, and you can quickly seize the opportunity to get rich." The beauty said, "My father will not give me money if I don't go back, my father is a very stubborn person, he will not see me, he will not give me money." "The eldest brother is blinded by money, and he also believes in his brainwashing technology, thinking that the beauty is too simple and has been brainwashed successfully." The next morning, I asked the beautiful woman to hurry back to get the money, and the beautiful woman said grievously: "Big brother, I don't have a fare, can you borrow 600 yuan for me?" When I come back I'll pay you back a thousand dollars. "The eldest brother thought about it, anyway, the money she got back was mine, and it didn't hurt to lend her some." So the eldest brother gave the beautiful woman six hundred yuan. The female college students thanked her, thanked her again and again, and promised to return soon. A week passed, the female college student did not come back, the eldest brother waited impatiently, he picked up the mobile phone and called her and asked: "When are you coming back?" There is no chance to come back. The female college student replied: "You liar, do you really think I have been brainwashed by you?" If it wasn't for the escape, I wouldn't have bothered to act with you? I've called the police, you're waiting to be caught! ”

3. There is a fruit shop in the supermarket downstairs, and when I enter the store, the boss is my high school classmate. I think I'm coming, I always have to buy something to hold a show and then go, I want to buy a big watermelon. Let her help me pick a well-cooked one, and ask him what the secret is to pick this. She said: You have to slap at least three watermelons, and then pick one and give it to the guest, with a confident expression.

4. The sister-in-law is a bully, who scored 560 points in the college entrance examination and was admitted to Tsinghua University. When my sister-in-law took the train alone to school, the iPhone 11 phone she had just bought was stolen and she cried in front of the train station. The aunt who sold newspapers next to her couldn't bear it anymore and pointed to a man and said, "He's a thief, you ask him to go." So, the sister-in-law ran to the thief and cried: "I lost my mobile phone, I lost my mobile phone." Finally the thief got annoyed: "Don't cry, I'll steal a new one for you." ”

5. I still remember when I was in junior high school, there was a particularly strong classmate in the class, who always raised the bar with the teacher. Once when he went to sleep in class, the teacher woke him up and said with an angry face: The classroom is not where you sleep. The classmate immediately retorted: Teacher, you are not right in saying this, according to your logic, the home is not yet a place to study, and you are not still assigning homework.

6. There is a 99-year-old critically ill elderly man in my department. At this moment, the old man was struggling to breathe the last few breaths of air that belonged to him in the world. At this time, his grandson pushed his 115-year-old father in. Only to see the old man's father angrily said: Little bunny cub, I have seen you since I was a child that you are not good to feed, you quickly get up and take two steps!

7. The child feels a pain in the abdomen and goes to the hospital for examination. After the test results came out, I realized I was pregnant, and then I excitedly texted my boyfriend, ready to surprise him. I didn't expect to be too excited and sent it to my ex-boyfriend. But the mobile phone text message can not be withdrawn, just want to call to explain, the result of the ex-boyfriend will return my message. Say: Please don't have any illusions about my bag, I won't accept you again! I was really angry, fortunately I broke up with a scumbag like him before!

8. My brother told me that there was a new live-fire shooting range in the city, and it felt very novel, so I went to play a few rounds to try. The instructor carefully told me about safety matters and instructions for use, and I suddenly raised my gun and burst out. As a result, his record was unbearable, and he played very poorly. I said to the coach: This result is so humiliating, I want to shoot myself. The instructor skimmed his lips and said: That's great, but I'm afraid you'll have to bring 100 bullets to use it!"

9. After ordering takeaway in the evening, my girlfriend suddenly asked me: "Do you know what day it is?" I flashed all kinds of holidays in my mind, and my girlfriend asked, "Do you really know?" I weakly asked, "What day is it?" The girlfriend pulled out the switch game console I had wanted for a long time: "Your birthday! This is all forgotten, sent to you. I muttered, "I thought it was a big deal, it scared me." ”

10. Because I am usually more good at things, I have a good relationship with the class teacher. I'm a guest on weekends! This time, I carried a bag of mangoes to the homeroom teacher's house. The class teacher smiled and said, "Thank you, my daughter is allergic to mangoes, and the allergy medicine in my house is piled up!" I was about to leave when my little daughter tugged at her sleeve and said, "I think we still want it, or the medicine will be wasted!" ”