1, get up in the morning to go to the toilet, when passing through the parents' room, found that there was no one inside. So on a whim, he sang loudly: "My family lives on the high slope of the loess, my father is my mother's cousin, and the two of them are still there."

1, get up in the morning to go to the toilet, when passing through the parents' room, found that there was no one inside. So on a whim, he sang loudly: "My family lives on the high slope of the loess soil, my father is my mother's cousin, the two are sneaky before they are married, so there is me, there is..." The word "I" in the back has not yet been sung, and a pot shovel has broken through the door! I asked in a frightened voice, "Who?" A familiar voice came from the kitchen: "Your mother her cousin!" ”

2, the son of the rich man has just reached adulthood and has begun to fantasize about his future married life. On this day, he asked the rich man, "Dad, can't close relatives get married?" The rich man said, "Yes, for example, your cousins can't marry you." The son said, "Can distant relatives get married?" The rich man said, "Except for the distant apes of humans, you can marry whoever you love to marry!" ”

3, the sister height of 178 salary more than 10,000 per month, is a flight attendant of China Southern Airlines, she and her brother-in-law are on the plane to meet. Yesterday, the brother-in-law's friend got married, and the sister just didn't go to heaven, so the brother-in-law took the sister to the dinner party together. At dinner, next to my brother-in-law sat an unknown man. After drinking and eating, the conversation began, and he said to his brother-in-law: "Brother, just because you have such a daughter-in-law, you brother I have made up my mind!" "The brother-in-law is messy.

4, saved a light life of the old man, did not expect the old man is a billionaire. In order to thank me, he gave me 20 million yuan in thanks. I immediately became a rich man and began to pursue a flight attendant. On Valentine's Day, the flight attendant finally agreed to me. I hugged the flight attendant tightly and said: Three years, you have put on various tests for me, and my persistence has not been in vain! Then, the stewardess slowly released my hand. She said calmly: Today is the final test, you wait, I will wash my face...

5, the elder sister and brother-in-law met in the bar, the two played in the bar for a night, woke up and found sleeping on the same window, so the two directly flashed marriage. The two happily went to the honeymoon, and when they returned, the brother-in-law would divorce!!! The two of them made an earth-shattering fuss over this, and the friend said, "As for the divorce??? What a big deal??? The brother-in-law said, "She hid the past!!! The friend said, "Ah??? Have you ever been divorced before??? The brother-in-law said, "It's worse than that!!! She won awards in the province in taekwondo!!! ”

6, bought a box of cream cake on the Internet back, after dismantling it to eat, think it is not delicious, and discuss with customer service whether you can return it. Customer service let her take a picture, I just sent the photo over, the customer service sister said: a box of cakes for you to eat half of the breath, you tell me it is not delicious? If it's delicious, you can't eat the box! I......

7, I drove to my house downstairs, saw my wife with a kitchen knife in the house around the cut. I was terrified and wondered if there were bad guys who had broken into the house and robbed? I called the police and ran home! As soon as I entered the door, I saw my wife breathlessly saying: Husband, I am tired, you hurry up and help me hack those mosquitoes to death! I..... Then the police came knocking!

8. The manager led us (all female compatriots except the manager) to work on the tenth floor! Get down and take the elevator! Because men and women are not intimate! The sisters all form a ball and keep a certain distance from the manager The manager is the manager! Considering everything, he spoke thoughtfully: Everyone stands evenly! It's an elevator! Come to my side! Come and go! That one! Xiaomei (I) you don't have to come over! You are the most "light"! Let's have two one person and one corner! Weight just right for me to go! I'm filing for workers' compensation!

9, just when I was rubbing my fists, she also recognized me, the enemy saw each other, extremely red-eyed, only to see her rush to me with an arrow step, grab my sleeve and fall down... "Uncle Zhang, things have passed like this..." "Then I don't care, where you go to school, my daughter will go to accompany you, come back early after school to learn to kill pigs with me..."

10 Because the buddies are so poor, his girlfriend elopes with an old man who drives Passat. The buddies were hit hard and became millionaires within two years. This surprised me, so I asked my buddies for advice on how to get rich. Dude calmly replied: You should remember that I was dumped by my girlfriend a few years ago! I asked excitedly: Is it through the trauma of feelings, suddenly enlightened? The buddy shook his head and said: That time I was sad to drink, and then drunk on the pedestrian street, when I woke up drunk, I found that there was all change around me, and I counted that there were about a thousand yuan! And so I managed to get rich...

11, a female boss worth hundreds of millions of dollars is often targeted by bad people, once she was deceived by a fraud gang of more than 2 million, but especially grateful to others. Because the female boss originally suffered from depression, this time she was cured. She invited the crook to dinner at an upscale restaurant, sat down and ordered a good meal, and waited for a long time. Many of the guests who went later than they went were eating well, and the landlady's dish was not yet served. The female boss really couldn't wait, so she called out to the waiter: "Hello, we are the first time to come, do not understand the rules, I want to ask, are we sitting in the audience?" ”

12, the wife just put on makeup, stood in front of the mirror to carefully examine, found that her face is so ugly, can't help but cry. The husband who sat by and observed for a long time said: "You are so sad to look in the mirror once in a while, so what should I do when I look at you every day?"

13, the uncle sent a pressed money to the nephew during the New Year, the uncle said: You kowtow to the uncle, a head of 1000, you can prostrate five. Nephew: Words count. Then 6 of them were knocked out. The uncle asked him: You bumped 6, and your uncle only had 5,000 to do it? The little guy said with a disdainful face: The one with more has sent you.

14, the first time in my life to buy a big lottery, I did not expect to win the 15 million jackpot, I was very happy, immediately went to the 4S store to withdraw a Porsche Cayenne. Within a few days of the new car, my brother-in-law borrowed the car to pick up my sister, so I had to take the bus to work. This morning sitting in the car, a woman came up behind the station holding a small child. I immediately got up and gave way, and then the woman smiled and said to the little boy, "Say thank you, son." As a result, the little boy smiled and said to me, "Thank you son." "Me:"