1. The birth control ring TUO, which has been worn for eight years, fell and was unexpectedly pregnant. I discussed it with my husband and finally gave birth to this child. After giving birth to my baby, my figure became very fat, just

1. The birth control ring TUO, which has been worn for eight years, fell and was unexpectedly pregnant. I discussed it with my husband and finally gave birth to this child. After giving birth, my body became very fat, and I have been dieting to lose weight. After eating last night, my husband said to go to the neighbor's house. I cleaned up a bit and took the garbage and planned to throw it downstairs. As soon as I opened the door, I suddenly found my husband squatting at the door eating roast duck, and I looked at my husband in surprise. He immediately explained: Haven't you been losing weight lately? I am afraid of affecting you, afraid of becoming a stumbling block on your way to weight loss.

2, at night after the night shift home, walking alone on the dark path, feeling a little scared. Halfway through, I found a strange man behind me who had been following me. Finally, I couldn't stand it, and turned around and scolded: "You rob the money or rob the color, but hurry up, the old lady is almost home!" The man said weakly: "I am a little afraid of walking at night, and I am not so afraid of following you." ”

3, the manager let the overtime finance department Meimei to withdraw: "Manager, I am afraid to withdraw money so late." The manager said: "No way, this money is a bit urgent." The Finance Department Meimei: "What if there are gangsters robbing?" The manager said, "You take the flashlight." Finance Department Meimei: "What is the use of this?" The manager said, "When you meet the gangster, you take a look at your own face!" ”

4, a man followed a big sister into the house robbery, the big sister often calmly told the robbers, there are cameras at home husband can see, brother you have to have difficulties to be a sister to help you. So Alipay transferred six thousand and five to the robbers. The eldest sister finally said that if you have this money, you will pay it back, and if you don't, it will help you. Soon this man was detained...

5, go to K song with a group of single colleagues at night, there are men and women. It was just ten o'clock, and there was an MM who got up to go. When the crowd persuaded them to stay, one of the brothers said, "Who is in the house?" Why go back so early! MM Jiaojie smiled, "Hey hey, I'm Jinya Zangjiao." The buddy said, "You're not a man, what's hiding?" Another buddy snapped up, "Bananas! ”

6, today's colleague's work, the cleaning aunt is still very fortunate to be working overtime, so the colleague bought a fast food for the cleaning aunt. The cleaning aunt is very grateful, just when the daughter of the cleaning aunt comes to pick up the cleaning aunt from work, the cleaning aunt: Are you single? Do you like my daughter? The sudden surprise made me go a little overwhelmed. Colleague: I'm single and feel good about your daughter. Cleaning Auntie: Bitch! Don't hurry up and call Daddy yet!

7) The cousin stole his father's Rolex and gave it to the cousin's boss. The owner was very happy and advanced half a year's salary to the cousin in advance. Today my cousin suddenly came to my house and asked me what dishwashing detergent I used to clean the dishes and what mop to make. I said: You are a high-level skilled worker, why do you care about housework? My cousin touched his face: My boss's factory is gone, I have to go to his hometown to take care of his parents, and work as a maid to pay off the half year's salary.

8, the girlfriend's family to help collect wheat, early in the morning to get up to brush teeth when I heard my girlfriend ask her mother: why cook so much rice porridge? At that time, I scolded my girlfriend in my heart: stupid pig! Isn't it me, I know it hurts me! As a result, I heard my girlfriend's mother say: "Isn't there a pig in the family, and now I don't have time to take care of the beast, so I can cook more and even have it together!。。。 I didn't dare to eat more during the meal, for fear of eating the pig together!

9, one night out of the Internet café outside the school, because of the ice, accidentally slipped on the foot, when I was about to fall, I pulled a passing boy and exclaimed: "Mom! As a result, the boy stuttered and said, "You, you, you have recognized the wrong person." "Just hurried away.

10, in the school beaten, I called my brother, my brother heard this back, put down the phone and came to the school, the first time ran to the person who beat me. The man asked him, "What are you going to do?" As a result, my brother came and said, "It's all right, I can see clearly in front of the station." You go on! ”

11, yesterday at noon a male colleague went out, did not take the mobile phone away, his wife kept calling. The female colleague who was napping was annoyed, took the mobile phone and yelled: "We are sleeping, are you bothered!" "As a result, the male colleague has not come to work today!"

12, strong brother. The dormitory brothers scored 28 points in the high number of the exam, and they did not study after the make-up exam. Then I persuaded him to find her girlfriend to tutor him (his girlfriend was 96, the first in the class). As a result, he said, "Her volume is the one I wrote, and the names we exchanged between the two of us." "I'm going! Finally understand why The class did not choose me to choose him that year, I really can't compare!

13. "One full ticket, one half ticket." A female passenger said. The conductor looked at a boy beside her for a moment and said, "He must be twelve years old, please buy the full ticket for him." "Hey, I've only been married for ten years, how could he be twelve?" "Madame," said the conductor, "I am only in charge of ticket sales, and I do not want to answer your personal questions." ”

14, a factory recruitment, only recruited married men a young man to apply. The supervisor asked, "Are you married?" The young man replied, "It's over." The supervisor shook his head: "Doesn't it look like you have a marriage license?" The young man said politely, "Bring it." As soon as he finished speaking, he rolled up his pants and exposed his knees. The young man then said, "Look, here it is. The supervisor asked strangely, "Boy, what are you kidding?" The young man said, "I'm not kidding, did you see the calluses on my knees, the kneeling washboard left behind..."