1. A female colleague rubbed my car after work and hit another car on the road. The female colleague felt that the time had come to behave, and she got out of the car and scolded. After half a day of scolding, the other car owner got out of the car and pointed to his car

1. A female colleague rubbed my car after work and hit another car on the road. The female colleague felt that the time had come to behave, and she got out of the car and scolded. After half a day of scolding, the owner of the other car got out of the car, pointed to his car and said, "Do you know what car I am?" The female colleague turned around and asked, "What is the dung fork?" "Got it, full responsibility. Another car owner said: "Big brother, I guess you don't have enough money, your wife stays, go and raise money." "I said it was okay and ran as soon as I stepped on the gas. The next day at work, I deliberately avoided female colleagues, but she took the initiative to come close to me and thank you: "Brother, eat my candy next month..." After a pause, she said, "I don't need money to repair the car, I can take care of this!" Then I asked. The other party immediately spent 60,000 yuan to repair the car. You say 60,000 yuan to get a female colleague is not cost-effective?

2. Some time ago, my brother went to his house with his boyfriend once, and his parents liked me. At my boyfriend's house, they took good care of me, and I felt as comfortable as I was in my own home. When I was ready to leave in the evening, my uncle directly took out a red envelope for me. I pretended to be polite and pushed around with my uncle, who knew that I accidentally pushed a little harder, and directly knocked my uncle down!

3. Cousin worked overtime at night, the cousin was asleep when he got home, a little hungry, thinking that his cousin usually ordered takeaway, so he took his mobile phone and ordered a fast food. Not many people will knock on the door, it is a very fashionable little sister, the cousin stared at her empty hands and asked: Deliver fast food, right? What about the rice bowl I want? The little sister was stunned, and then said awkwardly: Oh, I forgot to take !!!! Looking at her awkward figure, my cousin couldn't help but laugh out loud, this memory also delivered takeaway, really funny.

4. The girlfriend is a post-00s who is pregnant before marriage, and this situation can be married in our rural areas. Today I accompanied her to the pregnancy test, and the nurse asked while checking: Do you smoke and drink? The girlfriend looked confused and tentatively asked: Now? Forgive me for not being able to stop laughing, and the nurse looked at us with a black line. Then she pointed to the door and said to me: Please go out and laugh!

5. After work, I went to the mall to buy daily necessities and found an Apple 8. Then, I want to contact the owner to return the phone to her. Unexpectedly, suddenly the mobile phone received a text message: "Mobile phone unlock password, 248686, no thanks!" I asked my husband to buy a new iPhone XS max. So I unlocked the phone, opened the V letter, and sent a message to her husband: "Your wife is in a hurry in the morning, and the phone has landed here!" "Sample, let you show off your wealth with me, let you show affection with me, follow me, I can't cure you...

6. Xiaoming broke his foot while working at the construction site and went to the hospital to break the cold. The doctor at the hospital was a nearly sixty-year-old uncle who asked Xiaoming to take off his shoes and socks to look at the wound. The moment Xiaoming took off his shoes, Duoyouren felt that the air in the room had changed. After reading it, the doctor said to the nurse, "No, I'm going to take a few days off, this smell makes me confused, my eyes hurt, and the back of my head hurts." ”

7. Some time ago during the Mid-Autumn Festival, there was a couple of newcomers arguing at the entrance of the hotel. I walked over and pointed to the bouquet on the front of the wedding car and said, "Do you want this flower?" Don't just give it to me okay? The bride and groom were immediately amused by my actions, and in this way I mediated their conflicts. Later, the bride and groom thanked me and gave me the bouquet of flowers. I gave the flowers to the female colleague of my crush, she was very sweet, deliberately walked two streets, only to throw the flowers I sent her into the trash can, I was really moved.?

8. My girlfriend wants to play my game number, and I'm afraid she's too bad to pick him up. This was a nuisance, when she had dinner at her girlfriend's house and asked me to pick her up. I didn't have any money on me either, and she said, "It's okay, you take a taxi to me at the intersection and wait for you to pay you." "Then I went, and it turned out that I was almost there to call her and actually shut down. Alas, you must not offend women, it is terrible!

9. I am in a long-distance relationship with my girlfriend and can see you twice a month. Today my girlfriend came to see me, Xiao Beisheng was newly married, and proposed to book a VIP room. When I check in, I: Is there a camera in the room? Front desk: feel that there is no, if there is compensation for double the room money. When I got to the room, I took out the rope, threw it at the chandelier, and tied a knot. A few minutes later the doorbell rang, and it was the manager who opened the door: reimburse you for double the money, please go elsewhere.

10. Recently, a male colleague wore a Patek Philippe watch, which was very cool. I found that there were all kinds of small gears and all kinds of small frames and all kinds of small shapes. Just ask, "How do you look at time with this kind of watch?" He said he didn't understand either, and I said, "Since you don't understand, why are you still wearing it?" The colleague suddenly looked at me strangely: "Now I wear a watch, and I don't want to see the time!" Me: "..."?

11. After the mother-in-law retired from the State Grid, she could receive a pension of 100,000 yuan per month, and on this day, the mother-in-law went for a walk in the park and saw an old man writing large characters on the ground, curiously leaning in to see it. The old man glanced at his mother-in-law and wrote a "roll" word with a pen. The mother-in-law thought to herself: Look at it? The old man looked at his mother-in-law again and wrote "roll" again. The mother-in-law couldn't help her temper and kicked the old man to the ground. When the police asked the reason, the old man said grievously: I just wanted to say, "The rolling water of the Yangtze River in the east, just the first two words, I was kicked down by this neurosis."

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