1, today found that there is a new pet hospital downstairs in the community, and the store manager is a particularly beautiful girl. My brother and I couldn't resist talking. Brother: Hello, please ask here to treat animals

1, today found that there is a new pet hospital downstairs in the community, and the store manager is a particularly beautiful girl. My brother and I couldn't resist talking. Brother: Hello, is this place for animals? She smiled and replied: Yes! The brother preemptively lay on the sick window: please check me out, I am a procedural ape! Not to be outdone, I immediately lay down next to him: please check me too, I am a single dog.

2, wedding anniversary, prepared a table of good wine and good dishes, want to be a good wife. Wore the dress that he usually wears less, painted a light makeup, waited for her husband to come back from work, gently took her husband's briefcase, smiled... Before I finished laughing, my husband said in horror: Wife, the kidney treasure tablets at home are gone... I temperede...

3, law major, the young man asked the Zen master: "My ex-girlfriend has a new boyfriend, but I still remember her, is there any way to break them up and let her return to my side?" The Zen master smiled slightly, "Is there anything in the world that you can continue to possess that is already owned by others?" The young man groaned slightly: "Buying and selling can not break the lease"

4. On weekends, go to the in-laws' house for dinner and talk while eating. Mother-in-law said, your father is particularly difficult, ten years ago it was almost 60, in order to make more money, at that time still working outside, everyone looked at the father-in-law with pain. The slightly drunken father-in-law smiled and said: I have to go... At that time, your mother-in-law was menopausal, the child's rebellious period, I couldn't afford it, I could only go out and hide...

5, the son who is in the first year of junior high school is suspected of early love, and the teacher let me go to school. The girl's mother also came, angry. It feels a bit cooked, take a closer look, it turned out to be a micro-friend who made fruit in the circle of friends. The point is that she also recognized me, and after more than half an hour of intense communication, I successfully submitted a fruit order of more than 700 yuan on the spot!

6. Clean the refrigerator today! After removing the ice from the freezing layer, I suddenly remembered that the licking iron in the northeast would freeze up! I stuck my tongue on top of the freezer wall after sticking my tongue on top of the freezer wall! It feels cool and slightly sweet! Then I felt like there were suction cups on my tongue, little by little, if it wasn't for the daughter-in-law's early return! I reckon I'll be able to squat by the fridge for an afternoon...

7, today is more than 100 million shareholders buried in the ruins of the third day, from the 72-hour gold rescue time is not much, most of the shareholders have no signs of life, but there are still a small number of shareholders there is a weak cry for help, what moves the management is that the ruins underground also intermittently out of the "heart is in the dream, the big deal is to start again!" "The faint singing of ~

8. When I was in junior high school, I was in town. One day, the class teacher suddenly began to teach us moral education lessons: "Students, you should love each other, don't be okay with scolding people, when others scold you, you still smile, then what else can he scold?" The class was silent. Suddenly, a classmate shouted, "Laugh at your motherfucker." "Since then, I have not taken a moral education class in junior high school. 9. The first case of brain transplant surgery in China was successful, and the doctor asked the newly awakened patient with concern: "Are you still satisfied with your new brain?" I saw an imperceptible smile on the patient's face and said, "I am very satisfied with my new body." ”

10, me: "Boss cut his head!" The boss looked at me: "10 blocks, hey you're a student." I thought about how I was so mature that I saw that I was a student, so I confidently said, "No! The boss smiled and nodded: "Not 21 blocks for students!" ”

11, buddy has a crush on the sister in the office for a long time, but he does not dare to confess. I told him, please hurry up, in case it succeeds! You don't mean to say it on WeChat. The buddy finally summoned up enough to send a WeChat: "Actually, I have been paying attention to you for a long time." After a while, the WeChat message rang, and the buddies turned a blind eye and opened the message and looked: "Please don't tell the director, I promise to never steal snacks at work again." ”

12, one day a roommate bought a pack of cigarettes back to the dormitory, took one on the wc, the rest put on the bed, came back and found that the pack of cigarettes only a few left. This person especially likes to send Weibo, so he sent a Weibo: I don't say, it doesn't mean I don't know. After a while, his girlfriend sent him a message: I'm sorry...

13, it is already midnight, my wife has not returned, I immediately sent her a WeChat: "If you do not come back within half an hour, I will go to the buddy's house." After a few minutes, the brother sent me a WeChat message: "Tonight there are people in my family, it is inconvenient." "I'm not the kind of person who has a lot of heart, you say, is this a simple coincidence???

14, the wife before the birth of the indicators are not very stable, the chief physician asked many times whether to transfer to the provincial hospital, sentimental she is very pessimistic, all her private money transferred to me, bank card password, WeChat, Alipay on the money all empty, yesterday 38 is her third day after childbirth, still immersed in knife pain in her, powerless to make amends Yesterday is what festival, (after all, I can't even remember her birthday) just try to cover the wound on her stomach, yelling at me: give me my money back!