1, the doctor let him cover one eye, pointed to the eye chart and asked one by one. The doctor pointed to 10 and said he couldn't see it, the doctor pointed to 08 and he said he couldn't see it, and the doctor pointed to 02 and he said he couldn't see it. doctor

1, the doctor let him cover one eye, pointed to the eye chart and asked one by one. The doctor pointed to 10 and said he couldn't see it, the doctor pointed to 08 and he said he couldn't see it, and the doctor pointed to 02 and he said he couldn't see it. The doctor said, "Come and show me." The doctor poked his eyes and said, "You don't say a word about the false eyes." "Haha!

2, wife: In the past, you often sent me roses, why don't you send any flowers now? Husband: Does the fisherman feed the fish bait after catching it? Wife: Hey! Haven't you ever kept a goldfish? Husband: Raised ah, too much trouble, and then fed the cat!

3. Gongsun stopped pulling the little dragon girl who wanted to go with Yang and asked, "In this life, we can't become husband and wife, but before you leave, I have one last question." The little dragon girl replied without hesitation, "Loved! Gongsun stopped taking the Desperate Dan and died with a smile. The little dragon girl hammered Yang Guo's shoulder and said angrily, "Why did you take such a name?" ”

4, when I was a child, my mother once beat me, and she said very helplessly and regretfully: "Hey, stupid, I hit you and you run, I can't catch you, I am angry, you stupid standing let me fight what?" "Two days later, she was going to hit me again, and I spread my feet and ran, and from that day on, I became distrustful of women.

5. Travel to Beijing alone during the summer vacation. One night, a friend called me and asked where I was going. I said, "I went to the Lama Temple and the Summer Palace today, and I'm so tired." Friend: "It's quite tiring... But these four places are quite fun, right? ”

6, when I was a child, I played hide-and-seek with a few friends, usually the number one little fat man in the village to find first. I saw a cardboard box by the wall, and the skinny one buckled myself in the cardboard box, curled up motionless... After a long time, the little fat man muttered, "What about people? Then walked slowly toward the cardboard box. I was secretly happy, I felt a big ass falling from the sky, and in an instant the cardboard box burst, and I almost lost my breath!

7, once took a taxi on a rainy day, just got off the car and suddenly found that the mobile phone was missing, thinking that it was off the car. So I immediately ran behind with an umbrella and shouted, Hey, Master wait, Master wait... After a while, the car finally stopped, and I ran breathlessly to the front window and bent down to call the master, and suddenly found that the mobile phone was hanging around my neck. At this time, the master looked at me with a confused face and asked: What's wrong? For a while, I didn't know what to say, so I had to say: Oh, it's okay, it's not raining, let you drive to pay attention to safety!

8. Alipay received a transfer of 8,000 yuan from a stranger. Also left a message saying: "Thanks Master! "I thought it might be the wrong way, so I returned the money." As a result, 10,000 people turned across the street: "Thank you Master! "I returned to him again, and then he turned 15,000 over. I replied, "You're welcome, that's what I should do." ”

9, the school flower said that the movie Eight Hundred is good and took the initiative to ask me to watch the movie, and I couldn't help but confess to her in the movie theater. She said she was thinking about it, and when she rode her bike back to school, a Porsche 911 drove by. The school flower immediately said: Did you see that sports car? If you can get over that car I'll marry you. As soon as I heard it, I was excited, and I got up to catch up and pedal desperately. As I was about to catch up with my foot at 200 per minute, I was woken up by a slap from my daughter-in-law. She glared at me and scolded: Look at you shaking your head and stomping your feet, where did you get the quilt!

10, today to go to the Internet café often go to the door, after going in, the boss said that these days are not open, the Internet café machine configuration with no move TO SURVIVE upgrade, the Internet café needs to be upgraded and modified, you come over in a few days, in a few days I will go to the Internet café, I am messy, the Internet café is actually upgraded to a mahjong hall.

11, my cousin likes to play with her mobile phone with her head down, resulting in myopia 300 degrees, in order to scare her, I told her: "If you play with your mobile phone all day, your double chin will come out!" The cousin suddenly straightened her waist, and after two months, it really worked, the cousin showed off that she did not have a double chin, and I sighed when I saw the cousin's head tattoo!

12, I was working overtime at the company at night, and my girlfriend suddenly called me and said: Let's break up. My mood instantly hit rock bottom, we talked for three years, and suddenly said we were going to break up. I was just about to call and ask why I wanted to break up, when my girlfriend called again and said that she had just made a mistake. I said well, we have been talking for three years, how can we say that the points are divided, it must be a mistake.

13, the company went to work, accidentally did the wrong thing, so that the company suffered losses. The project manager yelled at me, said he was going to complain about me, and he couldn't say that one day I would be fired. All this was just seen by the passing female director, the female director said to me, young people make some mistakes is inevitable, the next time I pay attention to it, I was really touched at the time, only I know that the female director is my aunt, and the chairman of the company is my father. Or in a word, be low-key.

14. A programmer told me that his company has developed an automatic feeding system for cows: every time a cow approaches the trough, the sensor scans the cow's collar to see if the cow has been fed today. Unexpectedly, there were a few cow bulls with high IQs on the farm who quickly learned a trick: to take other cows. Force yourself to punch in front of the trough and wait for the grass to come out before driving them away to eat themselves. Programmers say that the software they designed was cracked by a few cows, which hurt their self-esteem.