1. Go to the business hall today to pay the network fee and chat with the salesman. Ask her, "How much is the salary?" She said: "2800. Me: "Is that enough to spend?" She said: "Enough flowers, still old."

1. Go to the business hall today to pay the network fee and chat with the salesman. Ask her, "How much is the salary?" She said: "2800. Me: "Is that enough to spend?" She said: "Enough to spend, but also with her husband to provide a 70 square meters of house, a monthly mortgage of 4500." I asked her, "How much do you spend a month?" She said, "As soon as I paid my husband, he gave me 100 a month, from the 25th to now it's been almost a month." Then she pulled out her pocket and said, "You see there are more than 20 left!" Only my messy heart remained.

2, why so many people look down on the factory, I work in the factory. Five insurances and one gold, eight days off a month. Four times the salary for the holidays. The provident fund base is 10%. Eat buffet. The canteen serves five meals a day. The pictures are of the place where I live.

3, go to the daughter's house with my wife, enter the door and hear my daughter's 42-year-old man call my father-in-law depressed. How did my 28-year-old cabbage be offered by this old, ugly and divorced pig with a 17-year-old daughter!!! Typical old cows eat tender grass, and having such a son-in-law is depressing to watch. But it is relieved to think that the daughter of the old cow is my wife's sake every time I call my husband so sweet.

4, once the brother-in-law was drunk, the sister secretly took the brother-in-law's fingerprint to untie the mobile phone. The sister opened the brother-in-law's QQ, did not look at it, did not know, a look frightened! I saw that the brother-in-law's grouping was like this: my harem, the three thousand belles, the main palace, the partial palace, and the cold palace. The sister searched for half a day to find herself, and the sister stayed quietly in the cold palace group alone.

5, go to KTV on the weekend to celebrate the birthday of my brother, there is not a single girl in the box! I felt bored and came out of the hall to sit, heard two girls discussing the nine square grid, I leaned over and said: "I also like the nine square grid, twenty-six keys is too troublesome!" The two of them glared at me and got up and left, and I vaguely heard another girl say, "I prefer the Mandarin Duck Pot, and I only eat the Nine Palace Grid when there are many people." ”...... It turns out that people are talking about hot pot!

6, the former day after work found that the daughter-in-law alone at home to watch Pearl Harbor, yesterday after work or a person to watch the mine war, today is a war movie, I asked her: other people's daughters-in-law like to watch family dramas, Qiong Yao dramas, palace fight dramas and the like, why do you like to watch war movies? Daughter-in-law: I've only seen such a fierce firework in a long time...

7, meet the boss and an ordinary woman shopping, the woman can not see how old, the first look like more than 30 years old, but you said that she is 50 years old and some people believe. The dress is very exquisite, but the appearance and figure dare not compliment. The boss pulled me aside to smoke, and I tentatively asked: Brother Yang, is this a sister-in-law? You always brag in the company about how beautiful and rich your daughter-in-law is, and she doesn't look very outstanding. Boss: Not my daughter-in-law, this is my aunt, don't talk outside. The boss's voice was very low, but his "aunt" heard it, and she came over: Xiao Yang, you said I was your aunt? Looking at the woman's round apricot eyes, the boss rolled his eyes, smiled and said: Daughter-in-law, I did not say it, you are my aunt, my former name is Yang Guo...

8, girlfriend is a foodie, for a while did not see her, her belly is also getting bigger and bigger, round and rolling, we all flirted with her said is not pregnant, she said it has been three months, we are congratulating her, and then her husband told us, in fact, the stomach is eaten out of no pregnancy at all, afraid that others will say that she is a pig so simply lie that she is pregnant.

9, a few days ago a brother got married, worship the heavens and the earth, the celebrant shouted: one worship of heaven and earth, two worship of the high church, the brothers and his daughter-in-law are obedient to worship, the climax is the celebrant shouting: when the husband and wife worship, my brother Bi Gong Bi respectfully came to a 90 degrees, and his daughter-in-law just put her hand on the waist and bowed her head, whispered: Get up, the whole audience laughed at that time, only to see the brothers His father and his mother sat in front of a black line, this brother is not the second half of his life.

10. During the Mid-Autumn Festival, a couple eats mooncakes on the balcony while admiring the moon. The girl bowed to the bright moon, sat down and took a bite of the mooncake, and said: I hope that people will be long, and thousands of miles will be cherished together. The girl's bow made the boy's eyes light up, and he took a bite of the mooncake and said: Look up at Chang'e, look down at the tofu. The girl asked incomprehensibly: How to eat tofu, is to eat mooncakes. The boy snickered and said, "I'm eating tofu mooncakes." The girl went to grab the mooncake in the boy's hand and said: Let me try it, I haven't eaten the tofu mooncake yet. The boy was already smiling and leaning forward.

11, 7 watch my son play games every day, I also play to try, did not expect, played three games in a row is killed as soon as they appear. The son who was writing his homework next to him couldn't look at it anymore and said, "The revenge of killing the father is not to wear the heavens together!" Dad asked me to avenge you! ”

12, girlfriend family rich, bought a big farewell field, called me to eat, the dish is very rich, chopsticks are somewhat not powerful, silver chopsticks, so heavy, I said to change a bamboo, girlfriend said, this silver chopsticks my family is only a total of five pairs, only VIPs can use ~ I grit my teeth to enjoy VIP treatment, finally, in the third shrimp row slipped off the plate, I broke out: go to its meow VIP, I want shrimp steak ... No...... I want bamboo chopsticks!

13 When Avanti was in Kazi, a man who liked the new and the old led his wife to the kazi hall and offered to divorce her. Afan asked the man, "Why did you divorce your wife?" "We don't have a common language, and I don't like her." The man shrugged his shoulders and replied. When Avanti heard this, he knew that he was a man of bad character, and said to him, "Well, then please tell me what property you have in your house, and I will make a notarized distribution of your common property in accordance with the laws of the Qur'an." The man, who tried to monopolize all the family property, and in order to embarrass Avanti, said according to the contents prepared in advance: "Our property is: a piece of sheep in the courtyard, a piece of sheep, a piece of flour, and so on." After Avanti listened, he pronounced the verdict: "For the sake of justice, the courtyard is divided among your wives, and the pieces are distributed to you; the sheep are distributed to your wife, and the pieces of sheep are distributed to you; the flour is distributed to your wife, and the pieces of flour are distributed to you..." Haha!

14, the year of graduation, the girl I have always had a crush on sent me a message: "I regret not choosing you in the first place!" Me: "It's too late for you to choose me now!" Girl: "Well, you have a lot of strength, plus you have three boys, now come and help me move the dormitory!" ”