1. The professor sits opposite the peasant on the train. When bored, the professor said: I have a problem, if you don't know, give me 5 yuan; If you come up with a question, if I don't know, give you 500 yuan, such as

1. The professor sits opposite the peasant on the train. When bored, the professor said: I have a problem, if you don't know, give me 5 yuan; If you come up with a question, if I don't know, I will give you 500 yuan, how? Farmers agree. PROFESSOR: How far is the Moon from Earth? The farmer did not say a word and handed the professor 5 yuan. The farmer asked: Three legs up the mountain, four legs down the mountain, what kind of animal? The professor was puzzled and had no choice but to give the farmer 500 yuan. The farmer took the money and prepared to sleep. The professor asked: What is the animal with three legs up the mountain and four legs down the mountain? The farmer didn't say a word, handed the professor 5 yuan, and went to sleep! Low education and high IQ, too terrible!

2. The sister-in-law opened a seafood shop, mainly selling abalone, and all the income in the store was used by her to shop online. Her husband resolutely confiscated all her money, and the sister-in-law locked herself in her room for three days without coming out. Three days later she came out in a brand new down jacket and hissed in front of her husband. Her husband was stunned and pointed to the down jacket and asked, "Where did you get the money?" The sister-in-law said triumphantly: "Screenshots and five-star praise cashback money, I see what else you can stop my heart of online shopping..."

3. My family is rural and I play with a group of children every day after school. One day after dinner, when a group of children were playing hide-and-seek, one of them bullied me, and when my brother saw it, he went up and got into a fight with the man, and then he fell down. Brother shouted: Brother hurry up and throw bricks! I quickly found a brick in the moonlight and threw it over, only to hear my brother "Ouch", I looked, hit my brother, blood flowed to the ground, scared the boy who beat me and pulled his leg and ran. Later, everyone in the village said that I was a cruel character, and they did not hesitate to smash my brother's head and bleed, and the sand chicken was a monkey!

4. I have an old-fashioned TV set in my house, and the high-priced recycled TV set came that day, called to look at it and asked, "How much are you going to sell?" The wife said, "You make a price." The fierce heart of the waste collector said: "This kind of futures, up to 50 yuan is given to you." The wife was surprised: "Didn't you write about buying a TV set at a high price?" How can the bid be lower than the one that closes for the rags? The scrap collector smiled and said, "Yes, my name is High Price!" Wife: "This is also too fooled!" ”

5. The eldest brother gave me 500 yuan to take my little nephew to the supermarket to buy snacks, and the rest of the money was given to me. I immediately went with my little nephew. I didn't expect to meet our boss in the supermarket, so I chatted with him. The nephew looked around boredly and suddenly shouted, "Aunt, there's a super handsome uncle over there!" I ignored him and continued to talk to the boss. The nephew was anxious: "Aunt, you hurry up and take a look, when did you change your taste, like the bald old man?" ”

6. When I was in college, I talked about a girlfriend, and when I first went to my girlfriend's house, my father-in-law and mother-in-law cooked 18 dishes, all of which were hard dishes! After drinking and eating, my father-in-law asked me: "Boy, how about this dish today?" I hesitated, thinking that I would honestly reply, "This dish is not very tasty!" Who knew that the father-in-law suddenly patted his thigh and said happily: "Wife, I said that this young man is honest and reliable." After I listened, my heart blossomed, and it seemed that the answer was correct. Then my mother-in-law came over with the fruit and smiled at me, "My cooking skills determine that my daughter is at this level, and it seems that in the future, if you cook in your family!" "I really regret it now, why should I tell the truth in the first place!"

7. The man drank too much, took the taxi home, cried in the car, and the driver looked at him doubtfully. Man: "Master, you say, why can't a man control his lower body when he drinks too much?" Can you understand me Master? The driver comforted: "I said brother, men are normal, big brother understands you!" Man: "Big brother, you are such a good person, thank you for letting me pee on your car, I'm sorry, I really can't help it!" Driver: "Ah..."

8. A little girl resigned due to family reasons, and as a result, just one day after leaving her job, she was blocked by all colleagues in the department. The colleague quietly told her that the boss asked all colleagues to delete the girl in person and put an end to all contact with her. The reason is, "She does not know how to be grateful, the company trained her for 3 years, and as a result, when the contract expired, she left with a fierce heart, without the slightest regard for the difficulties encountered by the company." ”

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