1. Female colleagues went to withdraw money, took ten thousand and vomited fifty thousand, she looked up at the monitoring! Counted ten thousand in the bag, and the rest was put on the cabinet and left! Half a month later, I received the head of the legal department of the bank

1. The female colleague went to withdraw the money, took ten thousand and vomited fifty thousand, she looked up at the monitor! Counted ten thousand in the bag, and the rest was put on the cabinet and left! Half a month later, I received a call from the head of the legal department of the bank, saying that I had gone to the court to sue him! The roommate scornfully said: "I just passed the judicial examination this year, I didn't take the money, and I have no obligation to keep it for you!" The supervisor was silent for a moment: "What you took away is the ten thousand of our bank, and the ten thousand that remains is yours." ”

2 The father-in-law accidentally fell asleep smoking a cigarette and burned a hole in the clothes he had just bought. Mother-in-law: You will stay up all day, cigarettes will not leave your mouth, smoke you to death. Father-in-law: You, what do you know? How important cigarettes are to me. Mother-in-law: Cigarettes are important to you, me and the children are not important to you, you see this, father-in-law: is this not my line? Mother-in-law: How can we live without you? Father-in-law: Yes, you can't do without me, I can't do without cigarettes, without cigarettes, there will be no me, no me...

3 Mixed in the company for two years, if nothing else, the relationship with the boss is mixed well. The owner is a smoker, but the hostess won't let him smoke. The boss is more afraid of his wife, so he does not dare to smoke openly, and every time he smokes, he asks me to give him the wind. Today, as usual, when the hostess came back, I coughed twice loudly outside the office door. Then the lady boss came straight to me, stuffed a note for me, and smiled charmingly: "I won't see you at night."

4 I was raised as a boy by my family since I was a child, so I liked short hair. Today I was finally getting married, and looking at this princess-like wedding dress, I decided to bring a long wig. A group of groomsmen do not know the truth, and accidentally pulled the wig off when robbing relatives, and in an instant, a group of old masters screamed one after another, frightened and fled. I'm messy with the wig, come back, you fools, things are not what you think, what should I do alone?

5 When I was in college, my parents and I fell in love with the goddess in my class at the same time. Once the goddess got athlete's foot and took off her shoes in the classroom in the summer. I hurried to buy medicine for the goddess for beriberi. When I came back, I saw that the head of the room was massaging the feet and fingers of the goddess, and while pressing the button, I said: We must pay more attention to hygiene in the future. Now that their children are ten years old, I'm still a single dog.

6 My sister's Alipay huabei owed 2,000 yuan, and I used my wife's bank card to help her get it. My wife was furious when she found out and threw me out of the house. My stomach was very hungry, and I saw that there were small dumplings selling downstairs, and I touched my pocket and there was a dollar. Then he pulled it out and said to the boss: Give me a dollar! Boss back: five dollars a cage. Then, with great shame, I put the only remaining dollar in my pocket and walked away silently.

7 My aunt introduced me to a sister who asked me to meet tomorrow. After arriving at the place, my sister has always been very enthusiastic about me, and we had a good chat. Later, when we were engaged, I asked my wife why you wanted to be with me in the first place. The wife said: Because I found that you look very ugly, dare to come to the blind date to show that there is confidence. I said with admiration: You see it really accurately, the day before the meeting, I bought a lottery ticket and won 50 million.

8 When I went to my girlfriend's house to propose to my mother-in-law, the old mother-in-law said: You take 2,000 yuan to marry my daughter.

What a good mother-in-law, I asked: Why do you want 2,000 yuan?

Mother-in-law: My daughter was born to me, raised for 20 years, even if it is 100 yuan per year, 2000 is also cheap for you!

After I listened, I sneered twice: You raise her for another 20 years, can't you earn 4,000 yuan when you are 40 years old?

9 The female supervisor had no money for the decoration of the house, borrowed me 5,000 yuan, and then returned it to me later. Half a year later, the female supervisor seemed to have forgotten about it and never mentioned it. Today, the female supervisor suddenly said that she wanted to be my girlfriend, and said that she would give me a promotion and a raise. I resolutely refused, hmm, wanted to be my girlfriend so that I could not pay back, how could I be fooled by the resourcefulness?

10 I was the secretary of the chairman of a company, and the chairman often took me to drink with customers. Today, when we were socializing, another female colleague who could drink was not there, just me as a girl. After drinking for a while, the customer got drunk and began to coax me to drink. I was very embarrassed, and the chairman suddenly said: I want to smoke a cigar, you go and buy it for me and come back to drink it. I ran all over the nearby tobacco and alcohol supermarkets, and people said that there was no such cigarette for sale. Helplessly, I called the chairman, who listened and angrily yelled at me: If you can't buy it, don't come back. I hung up the phone and yelled at the chairman countless times in my heart, and later I yelled at myself countless times.

11 On the first night of the wedding, the bride had already changed into a beautiful silk nightgown and lay on the bed. But an hour passed, and the groom was still well dressed and looking out the window, and the bride reminded him impatiently: "What's wrong?" He replied, "Go to sleep first!" Leave me alone, because my mom told me that tonight was the most wonderful night I could ever see, so now I don't want to waste any second of the night view. ” 

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