01
Emotion expert Lu Qi said: "When you marry, you are not married to a certain person, but to marry all the social relations of this person." So what kind of family you marry, what kind of marriage will you have. ”
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a problem that many young people focus on before entering marriage, and it is precisely because the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is everywhere, so many girls are afraid that after they are married, they will hurt the feelings between themselves and their lovers because of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Not long ago, I had a friend who also decided to get married, she and her boyfriend had been together for three years, and when it came to talking about marriage, she also tested her boyfriend for three years. In the end, what made her decide to get married was because of a move by the mother-in-law, the friend's boyfriend's home was just about to be demolished, according to the rules of demolition, their family could get a house of one hundred and twenty square meters, but the friend's mother-in-law felt that even if the daughter-in-law was not often at home, the two generations lived together, it was inconvenient and uncomfortable, so she replaced the one hundred and two houses with a hundred, a sixty, and added forty square meters on the original basis.
The mother-in-law who can take the initiative to be stripped from the relationship between husband and wife is really high emotional intelligence, and this kind of behavior of the mother-in-law is undoubtedly a reassuring agent for the daughter-in-law, so that she can marry with peace of mind, and such a good mother-in-law is rare in life.
Mother-in-law contradictions are everywhere, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law do not live, the contradiction between the two people is not so sharp, if the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law live together, the woman is upset, the man can not escape the embarrassment, this He Yang has quite a feeling.
02
When He Yang came home from work, he heard from a distance in the corridor that his wife and mother were quarreling at home again, and when they returned home, sure enough, their mother came to complain, saying that Lin Ya did not know how to be diligent and thrifty and would not live a life. As soon as he saw Lin Ya covering his stomach, his face was not good, He Yang knew that Lin Ya's physiological period had arrived, and once he arrived at the physiological period, Lin Ya had stomach pain, and he was too lazy to cook, before his mother did not come, He Yang would take the initiative to cook.
Now, after his mother came, He Yang couldn't cook because his mother was so nagging.
On weekdays, it is Lin Ya who has been cooking, which occasionally orders one or two takeaways, He Yang really feels nothing, but her mother is a person who is accustomed to a hard life in her hometown, and when she sees dozens of dollars for takeaway, she is spent so much, she is naturally not only comfortable in her heart, but also feels that her daughter-in-law is too wasteful.
For a moment, He Yang felt a little embarrassed, if he wanted to help his wife clarify, then surely his mother would nag again, then tonight his planning case would not be able to do it, and it was estimated that Lin Ya's life would not necessarily be better at that time. However, if you help Lin Ya in turn, then the mother is not more angry, it is estimated that the three of them will not have to sleep tonight, simply he will not care, let nature take its course.
Lin Ya and He Yang are free love, the two people are not in the same company, they used to be responsible for the same project, they were the docking people of the project, and then they came and went to get acquainted, and they were naturally together. Two people can also be regarded as true love, love for two years to enter the palace of marriage, before marriage, the mother's attitude to Lin Ya is still very good, maybe it is really not cherished after getting it, since Lin Ya married into his own home, the two people got along for a while, the mother-in-law's attitude towards Lin Ya is not as good as before.
Usually, Lin Ya is busy at work, her mother always feels that Lin Ya does not care about home, the more she wants to cure Lin Ya, she waits for all the housework to let Lin Ya do, Lin Ya if the work is too hard and lazy to do, the mother-in-law will be nagging next to her vigorously, making He Yang's heart also strange.
Before Lin Ya did not have a son, the two people had a two-person world, since giving birth to a son, both people were busy with their respective careers, no one in the family watched the child, only the mother in the hometown could come over. If he had known from the beginning that his mother would come and have so many corners of his mouth with Lin Ya, He Yang would have asked for a nanny, and he was not willing to let his mother come over, and he suffered from the sins of both ends.
He Yang was embarrassed, Lin Ya was even more disappointed, before marriage, He Yang was a gentle and considerate, sensible man, but after getting married, especially the mother-in-law came, the two people had a conflict without once defending her, in addition to letting her endure, is to pretend not to hear, not to see.
Although He Yang was also explaining to himself: "If I help, I may help more and more, my mother is more angry, you are more unhappy, I don't help you, she will not be angry with you again because she is angry with me." ”
He Yang is a good word, Lin Ya is very angry, once or twice, she endured it, but when the child was two years old, Lin Ya finally couldn't stand it, originally wanted to give the child a complete home, but the grievances were really too much. Although Lin Ya is not a strong woman, but the good villain is economically independent, not afraid of divorce at all, she does not want to live like this in the marriage, so she has a showdown with He Yang, if he does not escape to solve this problem, the two people can still be together, if they can not solve the divorce.
He Yang of course did not want to divorce, but he did not know what to do, just when he hesitated, his mother made a choice for him, the mother said: "You are a man, what is the impact of divorce on you, after divorce, you can still find a good woman, but a woman like her, cooking is not delicious, but also so big temper, and gave birth to children, you don't have to be afraid, leave on the line, she will definitely regret it." ”
Of course, He Yang did not listen to his mother's words, but he did not know how to handle the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, just when he hesitated, Lin Ya simply sent a divorce agreement, and the marriage between the two people stopped here. Lin Ya did not take her son away, but left it to their family, as if she knew the final ending, Lin Ya knew that her mother-in-law would regret it, and if it was less than half a year, her mother-in-law cheekily begged Lin Ya to go back and wanted her to remarry her son.
In the past six months, the mother-in-law has also figured it out.
Since her son's divorce, the housework of the family has fallen on her, and she has not even had time to dance square dance. And the most important point is that she wants to find another daughter-in-law, but the son's blind date is not smooth, originally thought that the son worked well, this capable man should not be difficult to marry another, however, three blind dates, all ended in failure.
Unmarried girls want to marry their sons, the bride price is not high, do not want to live with the mother-in-law, and the second marriage of the woman marriage has failed once, I heard that the two people divorced because of the problem between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but also refused to live with the mother-in-law. Three blind dates, the other party is to move out of the mother-in-law, He Yang is embarrassed, the mother-in-law can not regret it.
03
Is the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law really unsolvable?
I personally do not think so, many emotional writers have analyzed the topic of mother-in-law contradictions, as Tu Lei said: "People often say that mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are natural enemies since ancient times, I agree with this sentence, but this sentence seems to have not been finished, that is, men are useless, and mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are natural enemies." ”
Many authors feel that men are a sharp blade to deal with the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, as long as there is a man and men are willing, they will definitely be able to resolve the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. In marriage, if a man wants to deal with the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, he must first be tough, and he cannot listen to what his mother says, but must be fair and just, and he must be clear. If in itself, men are very cowardly, selfish character, and run away after encountering things, it will certainly not solve the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and will only make the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law more and more chaotic.
I once read a sentence in a book: "Marriage is the union of two families, and some contradictions do not arise just because they live together, and there must be no contradictions without living together." The most important point between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is to correct their role positioning. ”
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law contradictions are common, most of them are mother-in-law is not easy to get along with, but after two people have been together for a long time, some mother-in-law can figure out the reason, and are willing to agree with the daughter-in-law and get along well. Therefore, I hope that the elderly you can be a sensible mother-in-law, don't let your son be embarrassed for your own selfishness, when the son is embarrassed, the impact is also the mother-child relationship, when the time comes, the son is uncomfortable, is it difficult to meet your heart?
Also, what good is it for you if your son is divorced?
Any marriage that ended because of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, even if you want to remarry, it is not easy, if others hear that it is because of the mother-in-law's divorce, how can they endure the existence of the mother-in-law.
The bad mother-in-law relationship is like a thorn in the marriage, no matter at any time, the mother-in-law is the nail that hinders the happiness of the son, and only the bad mother-in-law is there, and the son's happiness is mostly going to be lost.
- END -