1. After my husband's hand was injured, we slept separately for 3 months. He looked almost as good as he was, and at night, I moved back... Seeing that he was listening to crosstalk, I turned off his phone and lay down, shyly

1. After my husband's hand was injured, we slept separately for 3 months. He looked almost as good as he was, and at night, I moved back... Seeing that he was listening to crosstalk, I turned off his mobile phone, lay down, and said shyly: Husband, if you have anything to ask for, you can mention... The husband looked excited: Daughter-in-law, really? Come and say to me a crosstalk...

2. Today and a female colleague went to the hotel to open a room, after the end of the matter she went to take a shower, then her mobile phone rang, I don't think much about it directly, after the answer to react is her husband. Witty I said: "Is it your mobile phone, I have been waiting for an hour, now people love to lose mobile phones!" Then his husband weakly replied, "Oh thank you." "Give me a thumbs up for my wit."

3. It's almost time to leave work, and the goddess of the company smiled and said to me: Are you free tonight? I looked at her charming smile, and I nodded busily: Yes, there is... The goddess took out a stack of documents from behind and stuffed them into my hand: "The boyfriend is coming tonight, please." Did you take into account my feelings, at that moment I even thought of the name of the child.

4. The boyfriend and the landlady have an ambiguous relationship, and yesterday he came to my house for dinner. I pointed at the dinner table and scolded Mulberry: "I hate men eating soft rice the most, I have a stinky face, and I also eat women's soft rice, refuse my face!" Grandpa, who was sitting across the table, slapped the table and got angry. Grandpa: "You deadbeat, who are you scolding, I'm now eighty, my teeth are gone, let your grandmother soak the bun for me to soften and then eat it, what's the matter for you!" "I:" ....."

5. I've been living with my girlfriend for a long time and have been eating at a nearby restaurant. One day my girlfriend was going on a business trip, but her cousin was going to travel here, so I took care of it and had a meal. So I took my cousin to dinner at the restaurant where my wife used to go. The boss greeted me when he served the food and said: Didn't bring your wife here today?? I was just about to answer when my cousin slapped the table and yelled: The old woman is his wife, who are you talking about? The boss was stunned and immediately withdrew. I looked embarrassed and asked my cousin why she was making such a joke, and my cousin said you'll know later. After eating the checkout, the boss said: I really can't stand my brother, this meal counts as mine!!

6. The old man gave me the 60 billion listed companies to inherit, and hired a driver to drive me a Maybach. Today's driver said hesitantly: "Boss, can you first advance this month's salary of 120,000?" I nodded and asked with concern, "What happened?" The driver pulled out his mobile phone, and inside was a beautiful woman broadcasting live, always saying thank you in his mouth. I looked at the 75-year-old driver in shock. He quickly waved his hand: "This is my daughter-in-law at Tsinghua University, she has never said thank you to me since she was a child, so I want to listen to it once." ”

7. Last month, my brother-in-law changed to an Audi R8 and gave me a Porsche that he had driven for three years. While driving, he found 300,000 yuan in the co-pilot's glove box. I think the brother-in-law must have forgotten to take it, and quickly called him, who knew that he told me: This money is also for me! The brother-in-law said: Brother, you gave me the money in front of my daughter-in-law, and I said that I sold you the old car for 300,000 yuan, so that she would not think that I gave you the old car for free. I was touched at that time, if it weren't for my brother-in-law playing a game now, I would really think that this dream was real!

8. The girlfriend has a twin sister and is still in the middle of the boudoir. Once my girlfriend stood next to me, and I obsessively played chicken with my mobile phone. I don't know when my girlfriend left, but her sister stood next to me. I didn't look closely, thinking it was my girlfriend, and hit her: "Give Uncle a whole little water!" "Then, I haven't been to my mother-in-law's house in a year!"

9. In the Summoner Canyon, Prince Galen and Zhao Xin saw each other as they were. They immediately worshipped and became the Three Musketeers of the Grass. Galen proposed: Brothers, why don't we each build our own weapons to join the army. Zhao Xin thought of his family property and sneered: "Oh, hit a hair." After a while, the creep came to report: Xinye, your spear is well played! The prince couldn't help but laugh when he saw it: I poured! After a while, Xiao Bing came to report again: Brother Huang is from Shandong, right? Your knife is already good!

10. Shopping with cousin Coco, she lamented that she had not found a partner in her late thirties, and there was a lot of pressure in the family, so I patted my chest and said to introduce her to one.

After returning home, the mother-in-law is chatting with the little aunt, the aunt said that the cousin does not have a girlfriend, I slapped the door on the head, the cousin conditions are not bad, this is not ready-made?

11. After my cousin graduated from college, she rented a house in front of the school and opened a milk tea shop! Because there is no feature, the business is average. But since the last time I helped her see the store for two days, my cousin's business has been extremely hot! After inquiring, I learned that the rumors in the jianghu that my cousin's boyfriend was too ugly, and those handsome guys wanted to come over and try their luck and try to make my cousin empathize with it! It seems that my ugliness is still valuable!

12. When I was in high school, I was an Internet addicted teenager who was proficient in various games. Every time he asked for leave for various reasons, what stomachache fever, all kinds of things, recently the class teacher did not give him leave. At night, I went downstairs with him, and I was going to walk with him, but suddenly he slipped under his feet, lying on the ground, and his face landed first. I ran over and helped him up, I thought he would say it hurt or something, but I didn't expect that the first thing this product said to me was: Look, can I take a leave of absence for this face?

13. Share a room with two sisters, share a bathroom, and they wash it first every time they take a bath, and when it is my turn, there will be no hot water. So I talked to them, and they said that there was a way to get the best of both worlds, and let me rub their backs, which saved water and at the same time washed the bath. It's really a good idea, but after washing a few times, I found that rubbing my back is really not an easy job. Forget it ~ I'm a big man, use cold water to use cold water, at least not so tired...

14. I bought a pie in the dining room, went back to my dorm room, and ate it on my stomach on the balcony. At this time, I heard a confession downstairs. The girl refused mercilessly, and put down harsh words, wanting to talk to me, unless pie fell from the sky. I listened and hit the pie on the girl's head. Then the girl came again, unless two were dropped. Alas, White threw a pie.