1, the sister-in-law used to work as a waiter in a KTV, earning almost 10,000 a day, and then married an honest person, the two lived a plain life?, but last week, the aunt

1, the sister-in-law used to be a waiter in a KTV, earning almost 10,000 a day, and then married an honest person, the two lived a plain life?, but last week, the sister-in-law's husband was not rescued in a car accident, and the sister-in-law was sad. At the funeral, I whispered to her: How much does the insurance pay?? The sister-in-law replied: At that time, I did not approve of it, and I did not let him buy it. I asked again: How much family property did he leave for you? The sister-in-law cried: Two hundred and thirty million. Two hundred million is: remembrance, memories.? Thirty million: Don't take good care of the children, don't take good care of the elderly, don't remarry.

2, the cousin found a girlfriend, the family is practicing to open a taoist hall. Her cousin was obedient at home by her. Last night the two went shopping, and the cousin quarreled with the cousin because of the trivial matter, and she had to reach out and beat him. The cousin couldn't stand it in public, so he directly knocked down his cousin and rode on her. Then the cousin immediately got up and shouted to the crowd of onlookers: "Everyone flash away, I have to run, or this lady will have to beat me to death!" ”

3. After the New Year, I went to look for a job and came to an interview with a headhunting company. The company manager interviewed me and said: The company is good at tracking and recruiting various talents, so the requirements for the employees under it are also higher. Candidates need to be experienced, do you have experience in headhunting in other companies? Me: Is it considered to be experienced that I have been in the headhunter tribe of cannibals for three years?

4, these days the wife is not in a good mood. So when I got home, I behaved very well, for fear of provoking him. Lying on the window playing with her phone last night, my wife watched TV and came to the bedroom and kicked me out of the window. I said a little angrily: I haven't done anything wrong, why did you hit me? After listening to it, my wife hit me twice and said: If you don't do anything wrong, I can't beat you?

5. Some time ago, my girlfriend has been showing off her male god to me. Girlfriend: My male god is very sunny, just a little snoozy, but super loves to be clean, and often praises me for being a good girl! Yo! Can't see it, this cargo can still chase the male god in hand! Until one day I stumbled upon their chat history: Oh, I went to the shower, I have to sleep, you are a good girl. Me: Ahahahahaha!?

6. In the evening, my wife took out some canned fish and said that it was a foreign product, so I could taste it. I said happily: Wife, you are so good, thinking of me everything. In order not to disappoint my wife, I ate all the canned fish, and my wife kept looking at me. After a while, the wife asked: Are you okay? What's it like? Me: Nothing. The wife picked up the phone and said: Dad, you heard it, it's okay, you can eat.

7) When I was in college, I had a very good lesbian, and I began to like her from the time I first met her, but I never dared to confess. Some time ago, I saw the photo album of her space to visit The question is: What is the name of my male god? I typed in the names of the male celebrities she often mentioned and the handsome boys in school, and they all showed errors. Suddenly, with a flash of inspiration, his hands trembled, and he entered his name, which was not true.

8. A husband in a mountain village went to the city to sell grain, and then ate an oil cake in the city, which felt sweet and crispy, very delicious. When I got home, I said to my wife: The oil cake is very delicious. Let's also have a meal of oil cake. There is no soft noodles, the wife said: Just put the white noodles and put them on. There was no sugar to make the filling, the wife said: Wrap the leeks on it. The fire was on fire, and there was no oil under the pot, and the wife said: Add water. When I boiled it and ate it, my wife said: I thought what the oil cake was, wasn't it dumplings!

9, the day before yesterday, the roommate next door bought a set of computers with the eyes of the loser, I still saw the real machine for the first time, and it was really handsome. Last night I smelled a smell of smoke, went to the balcony to see that it was a fire next door, and I hurried to call them. I watched as my roommate threw the monitor straight down the second floor window in order to keep the newly purchased monitor from being destroyed by the fire. The next day, asked him what he was thinking, he replied: "People who are awakened in a deep sleep are always not so calm. ”

10, the wife and girlfriend is a single dog, often come to my house to disturb our two-person world. After eating at my house on this day, my wife proposed to fight the landlord together for 10 yuan a hand. Not long after playing, I won more than 500, and my wife and girlfriend lost the most. I was feeling proud of it, and my wife's girlfriend suddenly shouted to my wife: Your husband just rubbed my thigh with his foot! Looking at the dangerous light in my wife's eyes, I felt that today might be over.

11. Down payment of 100,000 yuan, loan to buy a Maybach S450L. I repay 50,000 yuan a month, and I can only eat at a roadside stall when I am poor. Recently I had wontons at the same breakfast stall every day. I want to change the taste today, after getting off the bus, I said to the boss: Boss, come to the bowl of noodles! The boss was stunned and said awkwardly: Your car stops here, and I will put Chaos into the pot for you.

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #